Monday, January 21, 2013

Monster Monday: Slovenly Wanderer


Slovenly Wanderer



The Slovenly Wanderer is a singular fey creature driven to seek the company of men even though it finds mankind to be a contemptuous and repugnant race. The Wanderer appears as an unkempt vagabond: bloated to near corpulence, shaggy haired and crazy-bearded, yet with piercing eyes that betray an enormously inflated sense of self-importance. (Somewhere on his body is a tell-tale witch's teat.)

The Wanderer's usual modus operandi is to join with a group of human travelers, such as religious pilgrims or a pioneering expedition. As the trek progresses, each day the Slovenly Wanderer grows more and more agitated by his company. He will loudly pick out faults, openly criticize members of the group, and engage in long soliloquy about the failings of man (with hints of his own assumed superiority). The bile involved in such will increase each day that the Wanderer travels with his companions.

The Slovenly Wanderer will also help himself to whatever goods the travelers have brought with them. He will eat more than his share of rations, he will assume that he has a right to a portion of any coins or treasure the expedition is transporting, etc. He will, however, do no work in return for what he takes. Even if given the simplest of tasks, he will shirk his duties. He simply assumes that because he is superior to his traveling companions that they owe him for his mere presence on the trip.

Eventually the Slovenly Wanderer's disgust at being reduced to traveling with mere men will boil over into a murderous rage. On night, usually under a full moon, he will arise and attack his companions with intent to kill. He will leave their mangled corpses on the wayside, seek out a new caravan to join, and begin the process all over again.

Move: 120' (40') AC: 15 HD: 4 Attacks: 2 (AB +4) Dam: 1d6 (cleavers) Mor: 12
Special Abilities: Hatred – the Slovenly Wanderer gets +2 to hit and damage against humans. Argumentative Magic – the Slovenly Wanderer can cast hold person on anyone he has had a heated argument with. Rage Fueled Fury – against anyone who has questioned the Wanderer's motives he rolls two damage dice and takes the highest result. Fey Immunities.

4 comments:

  1. Is this about Internet forum members?

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    1. Hahahaha, nah, would work a nilbog metaphor for forum dwellers.

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  2. Not just a slovenly wanderer, but a slovenly wanderer with a Sword.

    Nice way to deal with the "Other is faerie" trope.

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    1. Thanks! Maybe I had Hobo with a Shotgun on the brain.

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