Ghost Story

Episode 60: Ghost Story

Peter Straub’s 1979 novel Ghost Story is widely regarded as one of the finest examples of American horror writing, boasting Stephen King as one of the book’s biggest fans. Jack and Kate dig into this tale of buried trauma and supernatural menace in a quest to see whether this classic of the genre meets their esoteric aesthetic expectations.

Who’s the asshole if your brother decides to marry your witchy ex-girlfriend? Why are women always preventing men from getting really comfy chairs? Is a sinus infection the secret hero of our tale? All these questions and more will be explored in this episode of the podcast.

Horror Movie Marathon 2022, Part II: The Revenge

The horror movie train don't stop for no one. Here's more of what I've been watching in October as I marathon horror movies:

The Majorettes

Sometimes you're just in the mood for a trashy 80s slasher movie and nothing else will hit the spot. The Majorettes was surprisingly not bad for this sort of thing. It's got all the elements you expect (murders, shower scenes), but it also has some unexpected texture to it. Oddly, toward the end it effectively stops being a slasher movie and morphs into a "criminal delinquents on heat" sort of movie. Everything comes full circle, of course, but the brief interlude of gunplay and explosions did serve to liven up the formula a bit.

The Old Dark House

I saw The Old Dark House for the first time last year, but I enjoyed it so much that I was totally down to watch it again when my girlfriend requested an old black and white spookfest as our next movie pick. With its characters straight out of central casting, its titular old dark house, and the charmingly dated elements of the movie, you just can't go wrong with The Old Dark House. All that and Boris Karloff? Get out of here! Unbeatable mix. This is one of the few horror-comedies that really gets it right, in my opinion. 

Halloween Ends

What an absolutely garbage movie! Shame on the director for fooling us with the first film in this trilogy, which actually seemed intent on both enlivening the franchise and exploring trauma as an aspect of horror. Halloween Ends betrays both of those goals. Not only does it come up empty on figuring out something new to do with Michael Myers, who doesn't even show up until over forty minutes into the flick, it ultimately has nothing worth saying about trauma too. Add in some ridiculous turn of events that don't make much sense in the context of the trilogy as a whole, some oddly placed boomer romance, a meet-cute that beggars belief, and a lack of any tension, and you got yourself a recipe for frustration and disappointment. At least we can all get back to pretending that there is only one Halloween movie and that the sequels don't exist.

The Demon Lover

Unfortunately, the movie bit of The Demon Lover doesn't hold a candle to the great painted-on-the-side-of-a-1970s-van art from the poster. The premise is pretty funny: a black magician feels jilted when his coven, who are only in it to party, man, get fed up with his dictates and leave him. In revenge, he summons a demon to kill them off. The only even slightly interesting thing in this movie is that the warlock character is very much a type I've encountered in real life: way too into the occult, way too into karate, and when you go to his house for the first time you're dismayed to see a Nazi flag inexplicably hanging on the wall. Oh yeah, a bunch of character names in this are references to horror and comics luminaries, but with a movie this bad it feels more like a slight than an honor.

The Undead

Oddly, The Undead has nothing to do with the undead; it was instead a cheapie horror flick created to capitalize on the then-current cultural fascination with reincarnation! As an experiment, two scientists send a prostitute's psyche back in time to experience her past life as a medieval maiden accused of witchcraft. Interestingly, this movie has a real moral dilemma to it: is it better for the medieval woman to face her execution and insure that she will live other lives, even though some of those lives are terrible, or is it better for her to escape immediate death and live with the man who loves her? Really fun little movie. Also, the brunettes in this movie are something else.

The Witch Who Came From the Sea

I was not adequately prepared for The Witch Who Came From the Sea! Frankly, I was expecting some sort of supernatural element--an actual witch, instead of metaphor. What I got was an insane psycho-sexual murder spree thriller in which a woman's idolization of her abuser creates a thirst for blood and...television? 

Anyway, I love that Daphne and her never-ending avalanche of pills is frequently referenced by characters in the film, but we never actually meet Daphne. Stay mysterious, Daphne! Also, as my friend Steve pointed out, that badass poster is a total rip of a Frazetta work. 

Audition

I first saw Audition on Halloween night in Whitby, and you know...I don't think I'll ever be fully prepared for the intensity of the last twenty minutes of this movie.

A widower makes the terrible decision to "audition" women to be his next wife under the guise of hiring someone to star in a forthcoming production. Of course, he gets more than he bargains for with the woman he chooses.

Not for the faint of heart or weak of stomach, Audition will leave a mark.

Dementia 13

Made with the leftover funds from one of Roger Corman's movies, Dementia 13 was Francis Ford Coppola's first "real" film. It's definitely a Psycho ripoff, but it's admittedly a pretty good one. When a man's grief-stricken mother plans to leave the family's wealth to charity in the name of her deceased daughter, his wife begins scheming to get her hands on the loot. Little does she realize that there is more going on in Castle Haloran than she initially suspects. 

One thing that's pretty funny about this one is that the Irish Haloran family has nary an Irish accent to be heard!

Shock

Shock was Italian maestro Mario Bava's last film, and to be honest it isn't among his best work. A late entry in the craze for films about possessed children, there's nothing inherently wrong with Shock, but there isn't much that is noteworthy about it either. There are some instances of strong imagery, but the real attraction--at least for me--is Daria Nicolodi's knock-out performance as a widow who returns to the house she lived in with her husband before his untimely death. Nicolodi does not get enough credit as a scream queen, in my opinion.

Diabolique

When I worked at a video store in the 90s, I did my absolutely best to watch everything in our measly "foreign film" section. Sometimes you'd get stuck with a ponderous, post-war meditation on sadness, but sometimes you'd hit on a real firecracker like Diabolique. Diabolique works in the Hitchcockian mode; an abusive man's wife and mistress conspire to kill him and free themselves from his tyranny, but not all is what it seems--especially when his body disappears before it can be found publicly and his death confirmed.

Rough Night in Rumble City

I got to play in the first session of Aos's Spelljammer game. Here's what happened!

The Characters

Ted, bugbear ranger, played by Heather

Xastra, githyanki warlock, played by me

Rough Night in Rumble City

Left behind aboard the ship as the rest of the crew went on shore leave, Ted and Xastra proceeded to get hellaciously drunk, which did not leave them in a great position when the bosun woke them up to tell them that the away group had not returned. Xastra was a bit sad to learn that this did not mean she had been promoted by absence to captain of the ship. The bosun asked them to head into Rumble City to find the rest of the crew, so Xastra and Ted grabbed their gear and set off.

The first sign that something was amiss was that the custom's office had seemingly been abandoned. No one was manning the desk and papers were strewn about. There were no signs of violence, but clearly something had happened.

Ted was insistent on visiting the Purple Pump, the local brothel. The brothel was similarly vacant; patrons had left drinks undrunk, but the patrons themselves were no longer in attendance. In an upstairs room, Xastra and Ted found two lizard-apes defiling the furniture. The creatures attacked, but Ted and Xastra killed one of the creature and sent the other fleeing from the window. Xastra yelled threats at the departing monster, vowing to kill its parents.

Since the Purple Pump was a bust, Xastra wanted to check on the repair shop where the crew were supposed to take their ship's spelljamming helm for repairs. The repair shop was ransacked and emptied, which was a problem since there was no chance of leaving Rumble City on their ship without the helm. 

While scouting Rumble City's market, they overheard voices. Despite his large size, Ted was adept at sneaking and skulking; after approaching the mysterious duo stealthily, he observed two neogi arguing with each other and stealing pickles.  Ted and Xastra hatched a plan; Xastra would draw the attention of one of the neogi, while Ted knocked the other out for interrogation. The plan worked pretty well, though one of the neogi bit Xastra. He paid for this slight with his life, eating a faceful of hellish rebuke. The neogi they took captive was not too forthcoming; he was a bit of a gigglepuss, but he did drop an important piece of information: everyone was being held down in one of Rumble City's parks. His usefulness expended, Ted put an arrow between the Neogi's eyes.

To Ted and Xastra, it sounded like the crew and the people of Rumble City were being held captive. Xastra was further saddened to learn that she and Ted had not been promoted to the role of joint mayor in the absence of Rumble City's lawful government. 

As someone who had been imprisoned by the illithid, Xastra had a hatred of slavers, so thwarting the neogi was now high on her list of things to do in Rumble City. And so the pair were off into the High Park, which they managed to traverse without encountering whatever huge monstrosity was prowling within it.

In the further reaches of the park, Ted and Xastra watched in horror as a man dressed in stereotypical wizard garb was paid by a neogi--clearly an exchange for the residents of Rumble City and the crew of their ship, who were bound in the trees with blue webbing! The duo quickly hatched a plan to kill two birds with one stone and rescue the captives before they could be fed to the nearby (and grotesquely fleshy) neogi egg sac.

As the neogi began to depart, Xastra ran out from cover and cast charm person on the wizard. She quickly convinced him that she was a friend who had come to warn him that the neogi were planning to betray him and that the best thing to do would be to help kill the neogi and then find a new buyer for the slaves he had collected. The wizard and Xastra unleashed their magic against the neogi while Ted feathered him with arrows from the underbrush. 

Once the neogi was delt with (and the wizard had used some of his precious allotment of spells), Xastra turned her eldritch blast on her enchanted "ally" while Ted rushed him with his sword. Before the wizard succumbed to his many wounds, he awakened the neogi egg sac, which erupted into a swarm of neogi mites. The swarm was also dealt with in short order. 

Xasta and Ted cut down their allies and the remaining residents of Rumble City, all the while expectant to hear their praises sung by the now-freed captives.

One hitch remained: the helm of the ship was somewhere in the wizard's tower and needed to be retrieved. But that's a tale for another time.

The True History that Created Folk Horror

Here's a really excellent documentary series on history and folk horror:

Part 1: In this first part of a series of videos, we explore the history and folklore which inspired the Folk Horror genre in film and literature.

Part 2: In the second part of this series we investigate a book which is purported to be a religious text from a witch-cult in Italy; discover how pre-Christian festivals influenced folk horror; and find out why a murder in rural England inspired one of the first folk horror films.

Part 3: In the last part of this series on folk horror we will look at an influential study of folklore from the late 1800's which inspired many of the most popular folk horror stories, and finish by investigating the modern context which gave rise to the common themes of the folk horror genre.

The Recycled Boy

I've put my weekly D&D campaign on pause for the month of October so I can run a series of horror-themed one-shots instead. Last week we played a Tales From the Loop adventure in which the characters were kids investigating the strange behavior of one of their classmates.

The Kids

Shane, a troublemaker whose anthem is Dio's "Holy Diver," played by Michael

Gene, a bookworm whose anthem is Barry Manilow's "Daybreak," played by Joe

Riley, a weirdo whose anthem is "Kiss Off" by the Violent Femmes, played by Aspen

Charlie's Strange Behavior

Prior to heading off for school for the day, each of the kids had an unnerving encounter that set the tone for the day to come. Gene was pursued by bullies who taunted him that his mom was a drunk. Riley overheard her dad crying and talking to their mom about accidentally hitting a kid with a car. Shane was used to his parents already being at work in the factory when he got up, but on this Friday that were both still at home--smoking in bed with the tv blaring.

Things got even weirder when they arrived at Ahwaga Middle School. An IBM service van was parked in front of the school and a hulking construction robot stood on the school's lawn. The school's heavy front doors had been ripped from their hinges and thrown onto the ground. Mr. Thompson, the kids' history teacher, was laying injured on the grass and was being tended by the school nurse. 

A few kids who had seen what happened filled in a few details. Charlie, a classmate of theirs who had transferred to the school at the beginning of the year, had been stopped by Mr. Thompson, who wanted Charlie to go see the school nurse because he was "acting weird." Another kid added the Charlie had been referring to himself as "we" or "us" instead of "I" lately, and behaving strangely. When Charlie tried to run away, Mr. Thompson grabbed him, and then the robot had come running into the schoolyard, tore off the school's door, and hit Mr. Thompson with it!

Riley crept closer to Mr. Thompson and the nurse. From their conversation, Riley overheard that no one knew where Charlie went and that his parents couldn't be reached at home or at work. Deciding that their classmate was in danger, the kids decided to play hooky, sneak away from the school before the ambulance and cops arrived, and look into the mystery themselves.

Charlie's Home

The kids walked to Charlie's house on the outskirts of town. It was an old farmhouse, with two grain silos out back. When no one answered the door, the kids scouting the perimeter. Gene discovered that every door and window was connected to an alarm system, but he was able to deactivate it using his nerdy bookworm skills. Inside the house, Riley found a half-written letter from Charlie's mom to a "sister." The letter expressed concern about Charlie's health or wellbeing; his mother wrote of how she had seen Charlie get hit by a car driven by "you-know-who," but Charlie denied that the incident happened at all. The letter also mentioned the recipient's home on Golmen Road. Riley related the contents of the letter, except for the part that implicated their father in driving the car that had struck Charlie.

The living room of the house was filled with strange aquariums and terrariums, each connected to tubes that ran through the ceiling to an upper floor. They also heard an unnerving sound coming from behind the couch; when it was moved aside, a large, two-legged "lizard" darted past them and up the stairs to the second floor. The kids were paranoid about being ambushed by the lizard-creature for the rest of the time they were in the house. (It was hiding under the parents' bed upstairs.)

The second floor was fairly standard for a family home, except for Charlie's bedroom. Although it had all the standard accoutrements of a kid's bedroom, such as a Duran Duran poster on the wall, one aspect of the room immediately struck the kids as bizarre: instead of a bed, Charlie had a long metal tube with flashing lights and computer readouts along the top of it. The tube was wired to the computer sitting on Charlie's desk. The kids' attempts to hack into the computer were fruitless--apparently the password to access the computer was not "password."

The third floor also held few surprises, save for the family's library. Bags from the Riverrow Bookshop indicated some recent purchases, which turned out to be piles of biographies of history's greatest scientists and books on spiritualism and seances. They had also spotted a number of family photographs of Charlie with his parents on a sailboat docked at Hiawatha Island on the Susquehanna River.

Before leaving, the kids also explored the two silos out back. The small silo held nothing but a round wooden table surrounded by chairs. On the table was a Ouija board and several burned-down candles. The larger silo held a number of cannisters of mysterious chemicals, like the ones fed into the aquariums and terrariums in the living room. Behind the cannisters they also found a (thankfully empty) child-sized coffin.

The Bunker on Golmen Road

Following the mention of a house on Golmen Road that Riley had found in the letter, the group set out to the other side of town. They almost missed their destination, as they were looking for a house but the building referred to in the letter turned out to be a moss-covered bunker--the kind of thing built by people paranoid about nukes falling in WWIII. 

The bunker's door was suspiciously unlocked. Inside, they saw an astounding variety of experimental robots going about their business. Out of the darkness lumbered a particularly massive and menacing robot whose faceplate had been replaced by the head of a Cabbage Patch Kid. "Mommy?" the robot asked in a harsh, grating voice as it attempted to scoop Gene up into its embrace. Gene managed to dodge out of the way and Shane tackled the robot from behind, knocking it facedown. The robot said "Baby sad!" and then began to cry and kick its legs and arms. 

Just then the kids heard the telltale sound of a pump-action shotgun as a woman's voice called out "Hey, what are you kids doing in here?" The woman emerged from the shadows; she was a wild-haired old crank in a filthy flannel shirt and sweatpants. Riley took the opportunity to sneak behind the woman and retreat further into the bunker to see what they could find.

Shane and Gene managed to convince the woman that they were friends of Charlie and that they were looking for him because they thought he was in danger. After explaining everything they already knew, the woman resigned herself to explaining the strangeness at work

Charlie's "parents" were unable to have a child the natural way, so they had worked with his woman (a genius former coworker of theirs at IBM) on making a bespoke son. Charlie's body was actually the reanimated corpse of a dead boy (which explained the coffin they found in the silo). To animate him, they had bound the spirits of the world's greatest scientists to his mortal shell (which explained the books in the library). The woman thought that the car accident had probably damaged some of his cybernetic implants, resulting in the various strands of ghostly personas that made up Charlie's sense of sense to become "unwoven" (which explained why Charlie had started calling himself "we" and "us" instead of "I".)

(Riley discovered a photograph of her dad being kissed on the cheek by Charlie's mom among the bunker woman's possessions; what a way to find out one of your parents is having an affair and ran their lover's kid over with the family car!)

The woman thought that Charlie was mostly likely either hiding out on the family's sailboat at Hiawatha Island or had sought shelter in the cooling chambers above the Loop's reactors. Before they left, she gave them a souped-up remote control that might be capable of turning off some of the cybernetic components of Charlie's system.

The Sailboat

Shane "borrowed a boat from his uncle" (aka stole a rowboat) and rowed them out to Hiawatha Island. They spotted a strange luminescent construct in the water near the sailboat, but they managed to skirt around it without it noticing. Climbing aboard the sailboat, they found Charlie's parents hard at work on two computer terminals. After explaining who they were and that they had already spoken to Greta, the woman in the bunker, Charlie's parents said that Charlie had freaked out and accused them of being "their" enemies. They believed that they had come up a way to reunite the ghosts inside Charlie into a single, coherent personality, but they were afraid of approaching him after he turned violent. 

The kids volunteered to try to subdue Charlie and bring him to his "parents" so they could fix him. Since both Greta and his parents had mentioned Charlie's fascination with the cooling towers at the Loop, so that seemed like the only place remaining where he might be hiding out.

The Loop

The kids had to wait for the guards to be out of sight before they attempted to scale the chain link fence protecting the Loop's cooling towers from trespassers. Finding the correct tower proved easy; one of them had piles of robotic bits and pieces outside and the door was ajar. As the kids entered the tower, they took one last look behind them and saw the IBM security guards being chased by a robot lawnmower! 

After scaling the tower's stairs, they found Charlie seated atop a throne made of deconstructed robots. He announced that "they" were the most intelligent super-genius to ever live and that "they" knew that their classmates were there to stop "them." On Charlie's right hand was a heavily modified Nintendo power glove--evidently a device of his own creation that he was using to take control of any robots in the area. Charlie demonstrated its power by activating three wolf-like robots that ran at the kids!

Shane juked to the right and Riley juked to the left, effectively splitting Charlie's attention and causing him to loose focus on which robo-wolf he was sending after who. This gave Gene the opportunity to press the correct combination of buttons to shut Charlie off. Charlie, and his wolves, all slumped to the ground, inert. 

The kids carried Charlie out of the cooling tower and snuck away while the security guards were firing rounds into a now-unmoving robotic lawnmower. Stealing a red Radio Flyer wagon, they carted Charlie's body back to his parents' house, where they were able to place him in the strange "bed" and reprogram the souls within him into a single entity once more. Returned to normal, or at least as normal as a cyborg zombie boy inhabited by the spirits of long-dead scientists could be, Charlie sat up and asked them if they wanted to hear the new Duran Duran single.

Horror Movie Marathon, 2022

Every year in the run-up to Halloween I pack out my viewing schedule with as much horror as I can handle. Here's what I've watched so far. (Spoilers ahead, obviously.)

Nope

Nope is another triumph for Jordan Peele, although I have to admit that I like each new movie of his just a little bit less than the one that came before it. Which really isn't much of a criticism as I've enjoyed all of them quite a bit. Even so, Nope's greatest strength is how beautiful it is to look at on the big screen. From the monster design to the general sense of place, Nope is simply a visual delight. I found it a little light on scares (but then again aliens aren't something that especially gets under my skin), although I do think the visual spectacle makes it more than worthwhile.

Prey

It is both a surprise and a delight that this sequel to Predator is pretty good, especially after the massive waste of time that was Predators. Although I wouldn't say Prey is pitch-perfect--there's some strange dialog that feels oddly modern--the premise of a Predator versus a Native American woman looking to prove herself as a huntress is pretty solid and the action pops along throughout.

The Changeling

I've been meaning to scratch The Changeling off my list for years, and I finally got a chance in early September. The Changeling belongs to the style of horror movie I tend to enjoy most: it's focused on creating a haunting atmosphere and it does a lot of work with very little. 

While the film is a bit slow, it's tale of a grieving composer who moves into a house haunted by a perverse tragedy features some truly unnerving and memorable scenes. Also, like The Haunting, one of my all time favorite haunted house films, it uses sound design to good effect. In a spooky bit of synchronicity, I watched this the same night as I read Daniel Mills' Among the Lilies, a short story that also combines classical music with flights of terror.

Black Phone

I was pretty surprised that Black Phone was a pretty good movie! One thing that was interesting to me was that the violence perpetrated by the serial child killer is basically given a tertiary place in the story; the movie shows far more graphic depictions of the violence of bullying and the kind of child abuse that happens at home. That felt like an apt way of pointing out where the real threats to children are more likely to come from.

Also, although a lot of design went into the killer's variable two-part mask, I didn't really feel that him being a "masked killer" added much, if anything, to the movie. He'd be just as effective, and perhaps more so, if he were just an average guy with a pair of aviators. This is an instance where a "look" or aesthetic isn't really necessary.

They/Them

Adding a gloss of "addressing LGBT issues" fails to enliven this absolutely by-the-numbers camp slasher movie. You will be able to predict every move this movie makes, even the ones that don't make much sense in the context of the film. 

I also doubt that anyone will even want to claim They/Them as a triumph of representation, as all the characters are at least moderately annoying. Things are not improved by the musical sequence.

The ending is also trite, gutless nonsense.

The real gut punch for me came at the end credits, when I realized that John Logan, whose Penny Dreadful is one of my favorite things of all time, was responsible for this boring mess of a movie.

 

Barbarian

It's pretty rare that a modern horror movie impresses me, but there's a lot to praise in Barbarian. The cast is solid throughout, the cinematography is varied and inventive, the sound design works well to create an atmosphere of unease, and the effects are certainly memorable. (On that last point, I'm not sure if the fx are all practical, but they look damn good if they were done digitally.)

I don't want to say too much about the plot in case anyone was planning on seeing Barbarian, as I think it works best going in cold, but the basic gist is that two people have booked the same Air BnB and are forced by circumstances to bunk down in a strange house together...and then they discover that they aren't alone in the house. There's a Psycho-esque shift in characters to keep you on your toes, and a bunch of twists and turns that keep things nice and uncertain.

Pearl

Despite the gruesome murders that feature prominently in Pearl, I'm not sure it's actually a horror movie. Instead, Pearl is a character study clothed in layers of sumptuous aesthetics drawn from old Hollywood. Trapped with her immigrant parents, one crippled with illness, the other a hardened and empty disciplinarian, Pearl dreams of leaving her dreary life behind for a place as a dancer on the big screen. And when her aspirations are frustrated, things get bloody.

Sometimes more a mood than a movie, Pearl gets by with its stunning visuals and a powerful performance from Mia Goth. Her monolog near the end of the movie is hard to forget; rarely does an actor get the chance to actually lay it all out on the screen out like that. 

The Wicker Man

There are some movies that you just love so much that you end up watching them over and over again. The Wicker Man is one of those for me, and it never gets old. The Wicker Man essentially set the formula for what we consider "folk horror," but it's never really been equaled. The crucial difference between The Wicker Man and something like, say, Midsommar, is that The Wicker Man is unafraid to be weird. Deeply, deeply weird. 

Phantasm

Speaking of deeply weird, even though I like Phantasm, I cannot explain its popularity among horror fans or why it was a perennial favorite of the Friday night movie rental circuit. Nothing in the movie really adds up, and although it looks pretty exceptional for what is an indie horror film made with amateurs, by the end you're left with a vague fever dream born of a young boy's grief. Still, I have to admit that several scenes from Phantasm have lived rent free in my brain ever since I first saw it.

Hellraiser (2022)

It would be no exaggeration to say that the 1986 Hellraiser was a game-changer for me. I was already well and truly steeped in horror movies, but I had never seen anything as transgressively weird as Hellraiser up until that point. That fateful viewing turned me into a Clive Barker obsessive in general and a Hellraiser fan in specific; after watching it I was on a path to read the original book, collect the comics, and write my own DIY rpg about characters who had escaped from the cenobites' clutches.

All of which means that the 2022 reboot of the film franchise had a lot of live up to. While I wouldn't call it an essential film, I feel it's safe to say that it's the best Hellraiser movie we've gotten since Hellraiser II, and by a wide margin at that. (Though I do have a soft spot for the oft-maligned Hellraiser IV.) The new film manages to capture some of the original's fetishistic energy, and it doesn't skimp on the gore either. The plot might be a little too self-involved for its own good, but I had a surprisingly good time watching this one.

The Paul Bunyan Butcher

I've put my weekly D&D campaign on pause for the month of October so I can run a series of horror-themed one-shots instead. First up: a Cryptworld adventure in which the characters were all true crime Youtubers trying to break the story of a series of copycat killings.

The Characters

Vaz Popovych, the editor, played by Joe

Chad Nugent, the on-air talent, played by Michael

Terrance "Brick" Tellerman, the researcher, played by Aspen

Sybil, the intern, played by Heather

"Forget-Me-Not"

Back in the 1970s, a series of horrific axe murders took place in Tillamook State Forest in Oregon. The murders were committed by Logan Baxter, aka “the Paul Bunyan Butcher.” Baxter claimed six victims, each a hiker or visitor to the forest. All six victims were decapitated; their severed heads were later found buried next to a hovel that Baxter had built deep in the forest. Once caught, Baxter was found guilty and sentenced to life imprisonment.

However, forty-eight hours ago, two park rangers were discovered beheaded in Tillamook State Forest in an apparent copycat killing. As true crime youtubers looping to get their video on the killings out first, the characters flew into Eugene, rented a car, and drove to Timber Grove–a small town near Tillamook State Forest. The likes, comments, and subscribes must flow! The bell icon must be rung!

Their prominence in the true crime world snagged them an interview with Logan Baxter at the town jail before he was to be transported to end-of-life hospital care. But before the interview, they had about two hours to “kill.” Vaz and Chad busied themselves capturing b-roll footage and conducting "man on the street" interviews about the Paul Bunyan Butcher killings and the recent copycat murders. They heard a few crackpot theories about werewolves in the forests, alien abductions, and the usual blaming of the internet for inspiring the copycat killer. 

Brick and Sybil headed to the local library to pour over old microfiche. Their efforts yielded an interesting snippet from the local paper. The group also learned that several missing persons cases were thought to be likely additional victims of Logan Baxter, but no hard evidence had ever been found to support that theory.

Armed with interview questions, the group went over to the Timber Grove jail, where they were ushered in by Sheriff Dave Perry, whose daughter was a huge fan of their channel, and allowed to set up their recording equipment. They were separated from Logan Baxter by a pane of glass. The Paul Bunyan Butcher's tall, once-powerful body had been winnowed by time; the man handcuffed to the metal chair in the other room was thin, balding, and clearly deathly ill. Baxter was flanked by two guards, one who seemed disinterested and bored by the whole affair and one who glared at the killer with naked contempt.

Baxter responded to some of the group's questions with an arrogant lack of repentance; he stated that he had kept the heads of his victims buried near his hovel so that he would "own their souls" after death. However, when asked about the self-satisfied smile he was noted as having in the newspaper article they had uncovered, Baxter became agitated and began ranting about how he had actually claimed seven victims, and that it was the seventh who had committed the recent copycat killings. He even seemed to believe that the seventh victim had been appearing in his cell as a specter, taunting him that he would be the next to die! When questioned about the whereabouts of the seventh victim's body, he said that he killed her in the fall and had left her buried under a "big gold rock."

The room suddenly filled with a sickly floral smell. Vaz, a psychic sensitive, opened his mind to the unseen world and detected an evil presence in the room with Baxter.

Before they could get more information from Baxter, Sheriff Perry suddenly barged in and exclaimed "Oh my god, we just found another headless body--right here in the station, hidden in a closet! Officer Rutherford is dead!" Perry then looked into the room beyond the glass partition and exclaimed, "But that can't be possible!" He pointed at the officer who had been staring at Baxter with hatred. "That's Kyle Rutherford!" 

All hell broke loose. "Kyle Rutherford" turned his gaze on the group assembled beyond the glass, smiled grotesquely, and then suddenly lashed out against the other officer in the room. The cop's head was separated from his shoulders, and gouts of blood splattered against the glass partition. Baxter began to scream "It's you! The seventh!" as "Officer Rutherford" turned on him next. Sheriff Perry and the youtubers ran for it, grabbing their recording equipment as they fled, their minds unable to cope with the horrific scene before them. Only Sybil remained behind, hidden in the observation room. Sybil watched in terror as "Rutherford" severed Baxter's head with a machete and then slowly disappeared, leaving behind nothing but a bloody crime scene.

Outside, Sheriff Perry asked the group to make themselves scarce so he wouldn't have to answer any questions about letting them interview Baxter. The group decided to take shelter in their room at the local Holiday Inn and plan their next move. When they watched their footage from the interview, "Kyle Rutherford" only appeared to be an ambiguous, scratched-out figure. The group argued over whether to immediately investigate further or wait until morning. Cooler heads prevailed and they decided to resume their investigation under the light of day.

Around one a.m., Sheriff Perry called them with some new information. He had re-examined the files from the original Paul Bunyan Butcher case and found one name that might be a likely candidate for Baxter's mysterious seventh victim: Audrey Burke, a college student who had gone missing during Baxter's reign of terror. He gave them the address of Audrey's mother, but then he said "Wait. Who's there? No, not you!" The next thing the group heard was Perry's death scream and the sound of his phone hitting the floor.

Shaken by Perry's death, the group slept little. In the morning, they drove to the outskirts of town to speak with Cindy Burke, Audrey's mother. The woman who answered the door was clearly Cindy's homecare worker, who was reluctant to let them in. However, after they mentioned they wanted to talk to her about Audrey, Cindy insisted from the living room that they come in. The homecare worker left them to do dishes in the kitchen.

Cindy Burke was an ailing old woman, forever broken by her daughter's disappearance. She always felt that her daughter had been killed by Logan Baxter, and she blamed the police for not pursuing the case diligently. The group now began to suspect that Audrey's unsettled ghost was killing people in the style of her murderer because she felt betrayed that the mystery of her disappearance was never solved. 

She also told them that Audrey was attending veterinary school at Oregon State University and that her favorite way to unwind was to go to Tillamook State Forest and sketch the flowers there. Cindy produced one of Audrey's sketchbooks, which was filled with page upon page of drawings of flowers. In particular, Audrey seemed to favor a particular flower found near the waterfall. 

Just then, the smell of flowers became overpowering in the little house and the group heard the crashing of dishes in the kitchen. The homecare worker was approaching them from the hallway, a wicked grin on her face and a machete in her hand! The group grabbed Cindy and hustled her out of the house and into their car. As they ran down the hallway, they saw the real homecare worker lying decapitated in the kitchen.

Of course, their rental car wouldn't start! The engine leapt into life just as the machete came crashing down on the driver's side window, cutting Sybil fiercely. As they sped away, they noticed that Cindy clutched a charm necklace inside her shirt. When she did so, the pursuing figure with the machete vanished. When asked about the necklace, Cindy told them it had been a present she had given to Audrey and that Audrey always wore it. It was a mystery to her why Audrey had apparently left it behind on the day of her disappearance.

The group drove to Tillamook State Forest, hoping to find Audrey's burial place and put an end to the killings. Since Tillamook State Forest was currently a crime scene, the gate was locked--but soon picked by our slightly criminally minded youtubers. The group left Cindy in the car and navigated by foot to the waterfall. The area around the falls was blanketed with forget-me-nots, the flower that Audrey had so often drawn in her sketchbook. A "golden rock," actually a large piece of pyrite, was spotted in the pool beneath the fall. 

At this point, the scent of flowers became overpowering again and the group saw Audrey approaching them, machete in hand. This time, Audrey appeared in her true form: a teenage girl caked with blood and mud. Chad leapt into the pool to look for Audrey's corpse beneath the pyrite; however, he found that it would require holding his breath and digging the stone out of the surrounding silt, a process that sometimes left him choking for air. Although they group were skeptical about their ability to harm or hinder a ghost, they found that attacking Audrey consumed her concentration and that her bodily form was held together only by force of will and hatred. 

However, Audrey was nothing if not strong of will. Again and again, the machete rained down upon the youtubers, wounding them severely. Just as their continued attacks managed to disperse Audrey for the moment, Chad emerged from the pool with the rotting and beheaded remains of Audrey Burke. 

When Sybil held Audrey's charm necklace, she had a vision of Logan Baxter killing the girl, stealing her necklace, breaking into the Burke home, and leaving it behind to taunt Cindy. She knew that returning the necklace to Audrey's corpse would dispel the wraith permanently. 

As Vaz bent to place the charm necklace on Audrey's body, Audrey suddenly reformed with the machete poised to strike Chad down from behind. The group watched as the blade seemed to descend in slow motion, but Vaz was faster. The ghost disappeared with a final howl of rage as the necklace touched the dead girl's rotten flesh.

The killings were over, the group had recovered a previously unrecognized seventh victim of Logan Baxter's murder spree, and they had more than enough content to craft the most popular video of their Youtube careers. One questioned remained: who would play them in the film after they sold the movie rights to their story?

Monsters Attack! Issues Four and Five

Monsters Attack! was a short-lived, magazine-sized comic put together by the then-editor of Cracked magazine. Each issue features a number of horror comics, as well as articles about horror movies and all things gruesome. I got my hands on the first issue when it debuted, but the pharmacy I bought it from never seemed to get the following numbers. Now that I have a copy of the Monsters Attack! Ultimate Collection, I plan to go through the series' five-issue run and briefly review the comic content from each issue. We're in the home stretch--here's what is in issues four and five.

Issue Four

"Tag Yer Ded"

Stories and pencils by Mort Todd, inks by John Severin

Two graffiti artist pals, one with aspirations above street art and the other a crackhead, compete for the prize in an art contest. The first guy wants to put the prize money toward art school, the other needs the dough to pay off some goons from the criminal underground. When the first guy wins, the second lures him to his death so he can get his hands on the cash. All's fair in art and war, until the dead artist rises as a revenant and visits a strange and terrible revenge: he spray paints his killer's body, effectively suffocating him!

"Illusions"

Story and art by Steve Ditko

A powerful wizard uses terrifying illusions to coerce a noble into signing over his estates and then chases the poor peasants from their homes in what is now his realm. Only one tenant refuses to leave--a purported witch. When the wizard visits the witch's cottage, he finds a beautiful young woman, whom he promptly falls in love with. She even manages to convince him to let the peasants keep their homes. At the wedding, none dare tell him the truth: he has married the hideous old witch, and she's used even more powerful illusions to hide the fact from her spouse!

"Circulation: Zero!"

Story by Charles E. Hall, art by Gray Morrow

This is a weird one, and I'm not convinced it really belongs in a horror mag. A magazine magnate is convinced by a military man to fund a "luxury bunker" where they can wait out the imminent nuclear war. The magnate double-crosses his military partner, killing him right at the moment when the bunker's doors are sealed. Unfortunately, the magnate's life of excess catches up to him immediately: he has a heart attack. He's going to survive in the lap of luxury inside the bunker, but as a paralyzed victim unable to enjoy all the extravagances he's stocked inside.

"Bookworm"

Story by Nicola Cuti, art by Alex Toth

A man comes into possession of a magical book that allows him to achieve a limited form of immortality by living within its pages. Unfortunately, although he's managed to dodge the vermin who eat the dead, the book is beset by bookworms. The most interesting thing about this story is its history. The version in Monsters Attack! was drawn by the artist originally scheduled to draw it years prior for a Charlton comic. Alex Toth balked at Charlton's low page rate, so they commissioned someone else to draw it, which means that this story exists as two different comics!

Issue Five

Note: The Monsters Attack! Ultimate Collection only features stories that Mort Todd had a hand it; he was ousted from the company before this issue was finalized, so the collection does not feature stories greenlit by the editors who took the reins after his departure.

"A Job Well Done"

Story by Richard Meyes, art by Alex Toth

Like "Circulation: Zero!" in the previous issue, "A Job Well Done" feels out of place in the pages of Monsters Attack! This one's a gritty crime drama about a righteous cop who gets in over his head during a drug epidemic. The hardboiled crime atmosphere works well, but this just isn't really a horror tale by any stretch. There's also a weird thing here where the bald cop characters all look a little too similar--normally, I'd guess that's a thematic element or there will be a reveal about it in the story, but that's not the case here.

"The Creator"

Story and art by Steve Ditko

I can't really say too much about this one as unfortunately a page is missing from this printing of the story, so I'm not entirely sure what is going on in the story. It's truly unfortunate that this one was misprinted; it's things like these the mar a really interesting and valuable collection of comics that a lot of people haven't seen and it belies the idea that this is actually an "ultimate collection."

"Cellar Jelly!"

Story and art by Rurik Tyler

The table of contents calls this story a "cautionary tale against mass consumption," but I'm not sure that's really accurate. Anyway, a jelly monster is indeed in the cellar and it dissolves a woman before the community gets together and salts it to death. This is one of the stand-out stories of the last issue, in my opinion. There's a bit of heart to this one that isn't always present in horror comics done in this style. 

"Transformation Flying"

Story by Charles E. Hall, art by John Severin

This story didn't appear in the final issue of Monsters Attack!, but it was intended to be included in the run at some point. It's a good tale too, with a fun premise: a German vampire fighter pilot squares off in a dogfight against a French werewolf. Vampires vs. werewolves is a classic battle, of course, but having the confrontation take place in the air adds a certain novelty to it. War is hell, even when monsters are involved.

In the Mists of Manivarsha

I've been running the adventures in Journeys Through the Radiant Citadel as part of an open table campaign on my Discord. Without further ado, here's how "Trail of Destruction," the eight adventure, went for my group. 

Dramatis Personae

Captain Horatio Gurthus, human barbarian

Brother Albany, human monk

Gnargar, kobold monk

Wave of Mutilation

Pushed into adventure once more by horrific dreams, the trio found themselves venturing to the war-torn jungles of Kalakeri, where they hoped to prevent the partisans of three river towns from engaging each other in bloody conflict. They arrived in the town of Sagorpur, just in time to view the final contest of the Trials, a series of events in which contestants from the three towns competed yearly for the honor of bringing a gilded conch shell back to their town until the next Trials.

The final competition of the Trials was narrative dance. The contestants were all obviously skilled, but the final contestant--a small woman in a red sari and golden headdress--was phenomenal. Even though the party was untutored in the art of dance, they caught the gist of her performance: her dance told the story of a town destroyed by a wild wave that arose the river. The group noticed that some people in the crowd had been moved to tears by her performance; each of the affected wore a red armband matching the woman's sari. 

When questioned, one of the spectators explained that the woman's dance told a real story. There were once four towns in the region, but Manivarsha was destroyed by an uncanny wave that erupted from the river. He also told them that the dancer in the red sari was Amanisha Manivarshi, a descendent of the survivors of that cataclysm.

When the time came for the judges to award the gilded conch shell to this year's winner, it was no surprise that the trophy was presented to Amanisha. Unfortunately, the roar of the crowd was suddenly cut off when a pillar of water arose from the river behind the stage and crashed down on the town of Sagorpur. When the water receded, the immediate area was left cluttered with debris and injured townsfolk. The adventurers also noticed a strange green glimmer in the river's current, lending a suggestion of fell magic afoot. They also saw several people trying to enter the temple standing next to the stage, but the door was being guarded by two creatures that looked like spouts of water topped with giant, cobra-like heads.

Down the River

After dispatching the watery creatures, the party entered the temple and consulted with Plabon, the High Riversinger and one of the judges of the Trials. Plabon informed them that each of the three towns of the region worshipped the river god they believed inhabited the river that provided the livelihoods of the townsfolk. Plabon also stressed that he did not believe that Iravati, the god of Sagorpur's river, was behind the wave that had just caused so much destruction.

Plabon was able to explain part of the party's shared dream: the loss of the sacred conch trophy could lead to violence, particularly against the Sagorpuri who might be blamed for its loss. When the green glimmer that they had observed in the river was mentioned, Plabon told them to seek out Dukha, a small-time river trader who had also reported seeing a similar glimmer in his travels across the region's rivers.

They found Dukha drinking in a tavern. The river trader explained that he had seen the strange green glimmer the party had noted in several tributaries in the region; in fact, he had followed the glimmer to a river called the Tinjhorna--where he claimed to have met the god of the river itself! The river spirit accused mortals of using foul magic to interfere with the region's waterways, though it could lay the blame on no particular folk. The party then hired Dukha to pilot them to the area where he had met the river god.

Setting off in Dukha's skiff, the group navigated the rivers cutting through the area's swampy forests. On their journey, the travelers encountered a mangrove treant who attempted to warn them off; the treant also noted that the "river gods" were not actually divinities--they merely posed as gods because they loved the adulation of the region's peoples. 

After the encounter with the treant, Dukha moored the skiff on a small island near a series of parallel waterfalls. The isle turned out to be the hunting ground of a group of weretigers, but some quick-talking on the part of the adventurers successfully dispelled the weretigers' hostility. The weretigers pointed out a pool that fed the waterfalls and told them that it was the most likely spot to encounter the "river god."

Bad Sportsmanship

The group managed to sneak up on the "river god" as it attempted to placate two water elementals that glowed with an eerie green phosphorescence. The party was divided in how to approach the "river god": Horatio and Brother Albany strongly suspected the river god was responsible for the wave that caused havoc in Sagorpur, but Gnargar (correctly) intuited that if the river god was trying to calm two elementals he must also have a vested interest in de-escalating the situation. 

Calmer heads did not prevail. The group engaged the river god, who was surprised that mortals would dare attack him, and the water elementals sped to his defense at the first sign of violence. Gnargar and Brother Albany dealt with the elementals while Horatio entered a rage and tore at the river god. The river god proved to be a formidable foe; even though both Brother Albany and Horatio are seasoned combatants, the river god was able to fell both of them. A nearly dead Gnargar landed a killing blow against the river god and managed to revive his two companions before death could claim them.

After some much needed rest and healing, the group spotted glimmering ghosts in spectral boats rowing down the river. Following the direction they came from brought the party to another island. The isle was strewn with ruins that matched the temple back in Sagopur, and there was also a huge rotten tree stump upon which slumped an inert figure--an unconscious Amanisha! Once Amanisha was revived, she revealed that she had been brought by the magical wave in Sagorpur to this place--and that the river god was not responsible as her captor was a woman with gray skin and a rusted sword!

This woman soon made her presence known. Her gray skin was cracked and weeping a thick, sticky-looking red fluid; her mouth had sealed over, but when she spoke the skin of her face ruptured, sending a cascade of the red fluid over her rotten flesh. This woman called herself Jibisha; she was a competitor in the Trials from long ago; desperate to win the Trials she had made a pact with a demonic entity in return for supernatural skill. The Trials were held in Manivarsha the year she competed--her attempt to cheat resulted in the destruction of Manivarsha! Unwilling to see another Manivarshi win the trophy that she believed was her due, Jibishi had stolen both Amanisha and the conch.

Gnargar wisely rushed forward and ripped the sacred conch from Jibisha's grasp, greatly weakening her. Brother Albany then managed to stun her by manipulating her ki. Unable to defend herself, the group thrashed her soundly before she could recover. 

Once Jibisha had been dispatched, the group heard a voice from beneath the rotten tree stump. The voice belonged to the "river god" of Manivarsha; he had been trapped and enslaved by Jibisha--she used his control over the waters of the region to create the wave that brought Amanisha to the island. However, since he was responsible for the destruction of Manivarsha, the group declined his request to free him from beneath the stump. Amanisha, a loyal daughter of Manivarsha, was pleased with their decision. She was escorted back to Sagopur with the conch, to much rejoicing. 

Nona the Ninth, Among the Lilies, and More

Things that brought me delight in September, 2022:

Tamsyn Muir, Nona the Ninth

I've been waiting for Nona the Ninth for what feels like an eternity! Thankfully, it's both an easier book to follow than the previous Harrow the Ninth and also a more upbeat book than Harrow was. Which really says something about Harrow, as Nona the Ninth takes places in a war-torn city caught in the crossfire between the Blood of Eden and the Emperor's forces.

One thing that I think Muir doesn't get enough credit for is her ability to craft strange, off-kilter characters that are instantly endearing. The third book in a series is a dangerous place to introduce a childlike (and often childish) character as a new protagonist, but it's hard not to adore Nona straight out of the gate. 

There's a lot I'd like to say about Nona the Ninth, but this series is becoming increasingly difficult to write about without dropping spoilers like Lego on the carpet, so it must suffice to say that this book entirely satisfied me even with my high expectations for it. Alecto the Ninth can't come soon enough.

Last Night in Soho

If I had known that Last Night in Soho was kind of a horror movie, I would have watched it a year ago. Also, if I had known that Last Night in Soho featured Anya Taylor Joy dancing to Siouxsie & the Banshees, I would have watched it a year ago.

When a 60s-obsessed young woman moves to London to attend fashion school, she gets wrapped up in the murder of a would-be starlet in the era she idolizes--the two swapping place in what are either our heroine's "dreams," a temporal haunting, or her mental collapse. I thought the visual gimmick of cutting between the two women worked particularly well for much of the movie, and also appreciated the strong performances and fun aesthetic. 

Daniel Mills, Among the Lilies

There are some authors whose new books I buy as soon as they come out--no need to know anything more than that they exist. Daniel Mills is one of them. Among the Lilies is a collection of Mills' short fiction; the tales in the book wear their influences on their sleeves: expect American Gothic in the vein of Poe, Hawthorne, and Charles Brockden Brown.

That said, Mills covers a wider range of territory in his short fiction than I was expecting. Although there are "historical" horrors to be found in this collection, there are also a number of modern-day tales as well--some of which are going to haunt me for quite some time. The particular strength in this collection, and indeed in much of Mills' work, is his take on "religious horror." I haven't delved deeply enough into his biography to make sure, but his stories feel like the work of a man of faith, or at least someone from a religious background, which makes the turn toward the horror therein all the more powerful.

When the Moon Hangs Low

When the Moon Hangs Low is a "Gothic-Action" rpg inspired by all the best things: Bloodborne, Dishonored, Darkest Dungeon, Perdido Street Station, and Berserk. Those are heady names to conjure with--a litany that nearly dooms any game from capturing the magic referenced in the influences. But you know, I think When the Moon Hangs Low just about manages it.

The game is fairly light, but the detail all hit in the right places. Characters have a mere three ability scores, which determines how many dice they get to roll for skills related to those scores. One neat aspect is that your character's degree of proficiency doesn't add a bonus or more dice to the pile, but instead determine with numbers count as successes on the roll. There are also "Knacks" (skills a character is particularly good at, and thus they get to roll extra dice) and "Edges" (basically, feats). Instead of classes, each character has a "Mark." The characters in When the Moon Hangs Low are monster hunters, but each has been tainted, or marked, by the darkness they face. Each Mark gives a benefit and a curse--and characters are likely to grow more monstrous as part of their trade, until they are too hideously warped to continue as player characters. Additionally, there are some fun rules for customizing the weapons used to hunt monsters.

However, there are some issues with the rules in When the Moon Hangs Low. Armor is way too good; rules as written, and I did confirm this with the game's author, chainmail makes a character completely immune to dagger thrusts. As written, it doesn't take much armor to reliably shrug off being shot by a pistol, which feels like an issue to me. Also, the game feels a little starved for content even if it is a complete game. The game could use a bunch of new Edges, a few more Marks, a lot of enemies, and a more intensive editing pass. I would definitely welcome more of what's already here, plus a clean up of some of the game's rules.

Ravenloft: Orphan of Agony Isle #3

Things continue to move slowly in the third issue of Orphan of Agony Isle, but at least Miranda finally has a run-in with Elise during an attempt to escape from Schloss Mordenheim! It's unclear what will be resolved in the final issue of the series, but hopefully everything will be much clearer next month. It is interesting that the depiction of Elise and Viktra's relationship in the comic runs a bit contrary to what Van Richten's Guide to Ravenloft tells us; in particular, Elise doesn't run away from Viktra, but rather has no qualms about confronting her former beloved directly when they come face to face.

The backup story, which is oddly presented before the main storyline, is the star of this issue, in my opinion. It does a brief double-act of "be careful what you wish for" and "never trust a witch's bargain."

The Changeling

I've been meaning to scratch The Changeling off my list for years, and I finally got a chance in early September. The Changeling belongs to the style of horror movie I tend to enjoy most: it's focused on creating a haunting atmosphere and it does a lot of work with very little. 

While the film is a bit slow, its tale of a grieving composer who moves into a house haunted by a perverse tragedy features some truly unnerving and memorable scenes. Also, like The Haunting, one of my all time favorite haunted house films, it uses sound design to good effect. In a spooky bit of synchronicity, I watched this the same night as I read a story by Daniel Mills that also combines classical music with flights of terror.

Catriona Ward, Sundial

Catriona Ward's Rawblood was my favorite novel of the books I read last year, so Sundial had a lot to live up to. Sundial is definitely a different kind of novel when compared against Rawblood, and it showcases a very different kind of horror. At the center of the novel is a woman trapped in a terrible marriage who has begun to suspect that her twelve year-old daughter is a potential serial killer in the making. The mother takes her daughter on a "retreat" to the house she grew up in the desert, where horrible truths are unearthed. 

I found the novel to be extremely eerie, but it's a protracted sensation as you read Sundial; Ward displays an uncanny skill with narrative by setting the novel's stakes early, but deepening them as the chapters build. For me, it resulted in a curdled milk feeling in the pit of my stomach as all the pieces began to fit into place. Overall, I'd say that Sundial feels like an upmarket version of a "Paperbacks from Hell" premise. Exquisite stuff; can Ward make my best-of list two years in a row?

Barnes, Alexander, NCT, Mitten, Killadelphia volume 3

It is perhaps true that Killadelphia has something of an identity crisis. On one hand, it wants to be taken seriously as a comic saying something about race and violence in America. On the other, it does incredibly trashy, grindhouse things like having a vampire Thomas Jefferson team up with a vampire Abigail Adams as a potential undead presidential ticket. I'm not convinced it can ever cut that particular Gordian knot, but it certainly has fun trying. 

As usual, I'm impressed with the variety of art styles that go into the comic; although they might work against some notion of unity, the anarchic feel is welcome as the varying art styles adds shades and tones to the emotions the characters experience.

The Munsters

You don't tune in to Rob Zombie's The Munsters for a high-quality cinematic experience. In fact, it's pretty easy to imagine that Rob Zombie made this movie on a shoestring using only props and costumes he already had in his house. What you tune in for with The Munsters is Rob Zombie's love letter to ghoulish schlock. This thing is going to be panned by a ton of people, I can just feel it in my bones, but you know what? I like a dopey little spookfest going into the Halloween season.

Clyde Caldwell Ravenloft Prints

I finally got around to buying frames for these prints of art from the older Ravenloft adventures, which I've had kicking around in poster tubes for literally years. Although they're easily the nerdiest art I own, I can't help but be taken back to the 90s on a wave of nostalgia to a time when we played hardcore Ravenloft campaign after hardcore Ravenloft campaign. Where are my Non-Weapon Proficiencies? Where are my Dark Powers Checks?

Franck Bouysse, Born of No Woman

The premise of Franck Bouysse's Born of No Woman has all the hallmarks of a classic Gothic yarn: diaries, discovered hidden beneath the dress of a dead madwoman in an asylum, tell the tragic tale of a young woman sold by her poor father to a sadistic man of a higher social class. Of course, the man's desires for the young woman are perverse and contemptible; however, where Born of No Woman makes a break from the usual tone of the Gothic Romance is in the brutality of its depictions of assault, abuse, and murder. There are some truly harrowing passages in this novel! 

Additionally, Born of No Woman is perhaps more thoughtful in general, and more philosophical in the way it advances both a case for the rudderless nature of an immoral world and an argument for the resilience of the human spirit even in the face of grotesque adversity.

Brinkwood: The Blood of Tyrants

Brinkwood is an rpg that runs on the same basic engine and principles as Blades in the Dark. However, instead of playing as a gang of up-and-coming criminals in an industrial fantasy city, the characters in Brinkwood are outlaws and revolutionaries opposed the rule of the vampire lords who dominate their land. Since this is a premise I've used to good effect in Krevborna, I was already halfway sold on Brinkwood from the start.

Beyond the basic gist, Brinkwood is one of those games the feels very specific and tailored; not only are the characters revolutionaries, they are upstarts who have been gifted with magical masks by the Fae to aid in their efforts against the undead. These masks are the innovative part of the game--a character can choose a different mask each session, potentially altering their abilities each time they're played. Again, it's an idiosyncratic detail that probably requires some buy-in from the people at the table, but it's nice to see something different in this vein.

Blind Guardian, The God Machine

Although I don't think Blind Guardian has any truly bad albums, at least nothing dire or embarrassing, I do tend to enjoy the post-Nightfall in Middle-Earth records less than the ones that came before. Until now, perhaps, as The God Machine feels like a really strong return to form for the band. You can still hear bits and pieces of the progressive elements that Blind Guardian has developed over the years, but The God Machine mostly feels like a straightforward, vital slab of metal. 

R. Murray Gilchrist, A Night on the Moor & Other Tales of Dread

The Wordsworth imprint really did the Dark Lord's work by putting out these cheap, no-frills collections of classic horror authors who should be better known, but who have mostly fallen by the wayside. Robert Murray Gilchrist is a case in point. The stories collected in A Night on the Moor & Other Tales of Dread showcase Gilchrist's studied devotion to the Gothic and the Decadent. But above all, the tales in the collection illustrate his love of Romantic horror; longing, tumultuous emotions, jilted lovers, and a fiery passion for beauty are the dominate notes in these stories--it's difficult not be be whisked away by Gilchrist's fantasia. 

Tales From the Loop

I admit, I kind of slept on Tales From the Loop when it was out there racking up the award. I did read it when it first came out, thought it was cool, and then set it aside without a second thought. But now I've returned to it, and it's giving me all sorts of ideas, particularly for a one-shot I'm hoping to run as part of my Halloween season offerings.

Tales From the Loop has a fairly simple system, but it's perfect for generating a pack of kids who have to face eerie supernatural or technological wonders in a version of the 1980s that defies our own historical record. Some bits are particularly elegant, such as younger kids being luckier and older kids having more skill. Just don't tell me that the ability to push a roll is innovative!

Wicked Pursuits

Wicked Pursuits is the final volume of a series of books collecting the art of Der Orchideengarten, a German magazine of "weird" and horror fiction. Things end more with a whimper than a bang, but that's just how the historical record goes sometimes. In its final issues, there was less art in Der Orchideengarten as the publication struggled with the economic realities of the moment and the horrible prospect of fascism and war on the horizon. Still, what is here is absolutely amazing. Century Guild has done the world a service by reprinting all of Der Orchideengarten's art in such a high-quality series. I'm going to miss the prospect of every year bringing more of this to my mailbox.

Behemoth, Opvs Contra Natvram

Opvs Contra Natvram is an album I've been looking forward to since it was announced. As one of the biggest extreme metal albums of the year, and the product of a band known for going absolutely over the top, the biggest surprise is that Opvs Contra Natvram is a fairly straightforward affair. If there is a defining element to Behemoth's sound on this record, it's that they affect a bit of a martial sound on this outing. The album's greatest strength is how imminently listenable it is; although there aren't any wild, surprising moments on the album, Opvs Contra Natvram is a record you won't mind listening to on repeat.

Pearl

Despite the gruesome murders that feature prominently in Pearl, I'm not sure it's actually a horror movie. Instead, Pearl is a character study clothed in layers of sumptuous aesthetics drawn from old Hollywood. Trapped with her immigrant parents, one crippled with illness, the other a hardened and empty disciplinarian, Pearl dreams of leaving her dreary life behind for a place as a dancer on the big screen. And when her aspirations are frustrated, things get bloody.

Sometimes more a mood than a movie, Pearl gets by with its stunning visuals and a powerful performance from Mia Goth. Her monolog near the end of the movie is hard to forget; rarely does an actor get the chance to actually lay it all out on the screen out like that. 

Eric Powell, The Goon: Bunch of Old Crap Omnibus Volume 4

As with the previous collections of The Goon, the fourth omnibus has a nice selection of tales; you get quickie bits of over-the-top trashy, violent nonsense, but also some deeper arcs that are surprisingly emotional. The inclusion of the Buzzard's solo comic is an especially welcome treat in this omnibus.

Also, this is the volume where Eric Powell lets his disdain for modern capes comics, and by extension mainstream comic culture, unfurl like a glorious pirate flag. Fans of supes might take offense, of course, but that's probably the point. Me? I love it.

Icons of the Realms: Van Richten's Guide to Ravenloft

Although I have no wish to surround myself with plastic doo-dads, like a Pharaoh entombed with mass-produced effigies and fetishes, I'm not immune to the lure of what are, essentially, toys. 

The miniatures created to accompany Van Richten's Guide to Ravenloft follow the illustrations in the book quite faithfully; they tend to look better in person than the pictures I've seen of them on the internet would have suggested. The gribbly ones are nicely gribbly!

Hemlock Grove, Seasons One and Two

Why did no one tell me that Hemlock Grove is an absolutely insane soap opera where characters say things like "This is a strange town, you can feel it in your balls"?

Hemlock Grove has it all: a teenage werewolf, a rich boy with mind control powers, a girl who claims to have been impregnated by an angel, a monstrous girl who has been brought back from the dead, a fortune teller-slash-sex worker, a monster hunter posing as a Fish & Wildlife agent, Famke Jannsen as a supernaturally bad mother, and plenty of incest vibes to go around. Someday, this will be known as a cult classic.

The second season also doesn't skimp on the insanity: Miraculous lactation! Vampire smoothies! Sexually transmitted prophetic nightmares! Inexplicable karaoke! Body-swapping! Miraculous lactation gets unexpectedly bloody! A super ridiculous scene to close out the season! (wtf did I just see?)