It turned out great!
You know it's free, right? Check it out if you missed it.
I've seen one other person's personal copy, but I want to see ALL of them. If you do a print version of the book, I wanna see what kinda cover you knocked out for it. Send images to totgad @ gmail dot com.
People who send in pics of their print copy might get something cool & free in their inbox in a couple months, just sayin'.
Between the threats of insane tariffs and other moves to destabilize the global economy, who knows what's gonna happen to the tabletop gaming industry.
Luckily, we can always DIY our good times.
To that end, below you'll find a link to PLANET MOTHERFUCKER: SATANICO PANDEMONIUM EDITION. This pdf contains the original PLANET MOTHERFUCKER zine and all four supplements for the game: BLACK SUNSHINE, DEMONOID PHENOMENON, DEAD GIRL SUPERSTAR, and PUSSY LIQUOR.
Oh, that last one doesn't sound familiar? That's because no one besides me has ever seen it.
Here's the link to PLANET MOTHERFUCKER: SATANICO PANDEMONIUM EDITION.
I'm making the game available to everyone who wants it, for free, in the spirit of "Fuck this nonsense, let's do fun shit with our friends just to spite every joyless moron trying to make the world a worse place." Yeah, that's right, a full game, a two-hundred page book, and you can just have it on the house.
That said, if you want to buy me a beer in thanks, I wouldn't say no. Here's my Ko-fi virtual tip jar.
Fair warning: PLANET MOTHERFUCKER is not for everyone. It's brash, crass, and patently offensive--just like America, baby. It's a post-apocalyptic rpg that is a love letter to trash culture, a scathing take on the peculiar strain of homegrown American madness, and a sadly prescient comment on the ways things are going.
Oh, you want a print copy? Here are some instructions on how to make one yourself that you can get here.
You're welcome.
But seriously, if you wanna buy me a beer you can do it here--lord knows I'm gonna need it. It's gonna be a long four years, like I said up top.
Got questions? Want to say 'sup? Email totgad AT gmail DOT com
(You gotta have the "adult content" filter on at Drivethru for that link to work, homie.)
Here's the blurb:
Welcome to a special midnight showing of PLANET MOTHERFUCKER. Get yourself a soda, a bucket of popcorn, and some Mike and Ikes from the concession stand. Then put on a poncho ‘cause you can expect a hefty blood spray this time around! Inside these pages, you’ll find a bunch of horror-themed Shticks, some bad guys to throw into the meat grinder, big pimpin’ villains, and a bunch of random tables for shit like Martian invasions and dumb Monster Mash crap like that. Viva la Wolf Man, bitches!
Inside you'll find:
What will you find in the pages of this bad boy?
- New character classes! (Alien Pervert, Gunnut, Kung-Fool, Robo Jock)
- New power ups! (A Dracula medallion, a goth girl's leather pants, bad-ass tattoos, and more!)
- New rules (For shit like taking cover, dying, and fear!)
- Adventure seeds (Fight robots in Spaghettysburg! Rescue hung dudes!)
- New Knacks and Mutations! (Including some really gross stuff!)
- More random tables than you can fuckin' handle!
Note: YOU WILL NEED TO HAVE "SHOW ADULT CONTENT" CHECKED TO SEE IT BECAUSE THIS SHIT HAS CONTENT ALL RIGHT.
If you previously bought the zine and would like this pdf version added to your Drivethru account, drop me a line and I'll hook you up.
More news: PLANET MOTHERFUCKER will be getting three supplements in 2024. They're already written, baby. Expect new character classes, lots more monsters and bad guys, adventure seeds, and more questionable humor than you can stand. This shit is for the sickos, so watch this space.
Of course, what that means is that you want to buy the main PLANET MOTHERFUCKER pdf right now so you're all oiled up and juicy for when the add-ons drop.
Just kiddin', I love each and every one of you.
There are still copies of the printed zine available, and frankly they're a better deal because I like making physical things. You can still grab it here, while supplies last and all that.
What's next for PLANET MOTHERFUCKER? I've got two supplements done in draft form, so when those get their chrome polished I'll put them out too. More horrible shit for your horrible games!
PLANET MOTHERFUCKER is now out as a complete game in zine form from my Big Cartel site! Here's the hard sell:
PLANET MOTHERFUCKER is role-playing game set in an alternate-reality Earth where the worst fears of the Cold War came to pass in 1965—the Year of the Thunderkiss—when some fat-fingered bureaucrat pressed the shiny red button and set off Armageddon.
Instead of resulting in a grim, gritty wasteland where humanity struggles to survive, the atomic fallout warped the fabric of reality itself. America was twisted into a psychoholic grindhouse realm where mutant ratmen drag race hot rods against murder-minded robots, where lunatic wolfmans square off against brick house amazon princesses, and where doom nuns and foxy witches command the awesome powers of the bump ‘n’ grind occult. The mood and aesthetics of B movies, outlaw comics, and trash culture have bled into our world, creating a fucked-up melange of cartoonishly overheated sex and violence.
PLANET MOTHERFUCKER is ultra-violent, maxi-trashy, supra-lowbrow, and über-depraved. The characters are larger-than-life and garishly hued in neon technicolor and greasepaint. Horror movie monsters prowl the wastes and clown gangs rampage through the streets of what used to be called civilization. Fuel up your chainsaw, pop a clip into your Uzi, and rev your V8 engine—it’s gonna get messy out there.
The rules for PLANET MOFO are a hack of MÖRK BORG. The rules have been tuned-up and turbo-charged to make the characters super-sized and about as competent as the morons in a low-budget action flick. Characters in PLANET MOTHERFUCKER might still die, but they aren’t failsons right out of the gate. That shit is as useless as tits on a tractor.
About this zine:
- Contains all the rules you need to play: setting, character creation, action resolution, combat, enemies, adventure seeds, npcs, random tables, and more!
- 48 pages printed in b&w on color stock (blue or green paper). This things is bulging with content, just like your favorite XXX star.
- Cover printed in full color on glossy cardstock. It's a thing of beauty that will be sure to attract romantic attention should you read it on the subway, at a bus stop, in line at Taco Bell, etc.
- Hand-assembled, the way zines were meant to be made. None of this pro shit masquerading as DIY. This is the real deal.
- Every purchase comes with a free pdf and a form-fillable character sheet pdf. Put the numbers in the boxes or you get the hose.
- Printed zine ships in a bubble mailer. So safe, so secure.
- Recommended if you like Rob Zombie, the Goon, Mandy, Joe R. Lansdale, Preacher, Big Trouble in Little China, Sin City, Escape From New York, The Venture Bros.
- Not recommended if you're allergic to juvenile humor, foul language, and bad attitudes.
Interior pics:
As the pile of rumpled and stained printouts to the right indicates, I'm deep in the editing process right now. The previous version was a largely system-agnostic setting book with some slight mechanics compatible with Savage Worlds. The new version will be a complete game unto itself with mechanics more or less in line with MORK BORG and related games of that ilk.
The print version of PLANET MOTHERFUCKER mark II will (probably) be a 48-page zine. The plan is to get the pages printed at a legit copy shop. As with all my zines, this will be a true DIY, hand-assembled project. No fancy booklets bound at the shop by professionals--I will personally be working the long-arm stapler, as tradition and honor dictates.
In a few posts to come I'll be dropping a broad-strokes setting description of where the game takes place, a sample character rolled up hot and fresh using all the random tables in the zine, and a sample random table from the book. For now, here's the sales pitch on what PLANET MOTHERFUCKER is all about, straight from the zine's introduction:
WELCOME TO PLANET MOTHERFUCKER
PLANET MOTHERFUCKER is role-playing game set in an alternate-reality Earth where the worst fears of the Cold War came to pass in 1965—the Year of the Thunderkiss—when some fat-fingered bureaucrat pressed the shiny red button and set off Armageddon.
Instead of resulting in a grim, gritty wasteland where humanity struggles to survive, the atomic fallout instead warped the fabric of reality itself. America was twisted into a psychoholic grindhouse realm where mutant ratmen drag race hot rods against murder-minded robots, where lunatic wolfmans square off against brick house amazon princesses, and where doom nuns and foxy witches command the awesome powers of the bump ‘n’ grind occult. The mood and aesthetics of B movies, outlaw comics, and trash culture have bled into our world, creating a fucked-up melange of cartoonishly overheated sex and violence.
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| Prototype of the Deluxe Edition of PMF |
Lurid Locations explores four locations you can add to your games: Maximilian's Waxworks, Briarhurst, Wildeacre, and the tower of Eisengraz.
Seeds of Evil details adventure seeds you can use to craft scenarios set in Ravenloft.
Portraits of the Damned details nonplayer characters such as an apothecary with a dark past, a vampire pugilist, a miner’s specter, a member of the Kargat, and Strahd’s bastard son.
Forged in Shadow adds three magical items to your potential arsenal of rewards.
Grim Phantasmagoria explains my goals, principles, and best practices for running adventures in Ravenloft.
Fatal Frames focuses on frameworks to unite your players’ characters into a cohesive group.
Cryptic Alliances revises the Ba’al Verzi cabal of assassins for use in your Ravenloft campaigns.
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Also, if you're looking to fill in a gap in your Strahd Loves, Man Kills collection? Look no further! Here's a Big Cartel listing for the back issues that have been out of print until just recently. Please specify which issue you want a copy of in the comments when you order.
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To sweeten the deal, what if I told you that the previous issues were now available as free pdfs? Strahd Loves, Man Kills #1 is available here and Strahd Loves, Man Kills #2 is available here. If you like what you see in those issues, you'll love Strahd Loves, Man Kills #3.
Strahd Loves, Man Kills #3 will also be made available as a free pdf when its print run sells out. It's honestly pretty close to selling out right now. This is a ransom model: every print purchase helps move the issue toward being part of the community's treasury.
Speaking of free zines, a print at home version of Dirge of Urazya has been added to the holdings over at the Zine Crisis Mutual Assistance Group's print at home library. Check it out and check out all the other great zines available at this amazing resource.
According to Goodreads, I read more in 2021 than in any other year that I've kept track of. Apparently spending the majority of your time indoors because there is a pandemic going on will give you a lot of book time, who knew?
My favorite books of the year: Catriona Ward's Rawblood, Andrew Kelly Stewart's We Shall Sing a Song Into the Deep, Caitlin Starling's Yellow Jessamine, Carmen Maria Machado's In the Dream House, and Tanith Lee's At the Court of the Crow. In general, it was a good year for novellas, but maybe that's just where my attention span was at in 2021.
I also caught up on or finished two lengthy manga series: Claymore and Black Butler.
If you want to hear more about my favorite stuff of 2021, check out the Best of the Year episode of Bad Books for Bad People.
Speaking of the podcast, we came out of our unplanned for hiatus and managed to get seven episodes out into the world despite months of dormancy. Our episode on Requiem Infernal already seems like a fan favorite.
On the publishing front, I published the first two issues of Strahd Loves, Man Kills and wrote five more issues for publication in 2022. The third issue just dropped, so if you haven't picked it up yet keep in mind that I've already sold more than half the print run. You can expect the zine to get a little bigger in 2022--I'm expanding it from 28 pages of content to 32. I also contributed to the second issue of KNOCK, The Book of Gaub, and another rpg project that should see the light in 2022.
I'm so glad someone noticed that! We live in an era where small creators have the tools to make things that are on par, quality-wise, with major publishers. And that is fantastic, I don't begrudge anyone going full flash at all, but I wanted to make something that felt like the product of an excited amateur that harkened back to the first zines I encountered in the early 90s. I'm going for the feel of a "fanzine," nothing glossy, nothing too polished. I'm working from high quality photocopies, stapling them together by hand, and addressing every envelope that gets sent out. I hope people appreciate the personal touch that goes into it, even if it results in an imperfect-yet-enthusiastic zine.
Plus, it helps me to keep the price down. $6 for 28 pages of gaming content is a pretty good deal, I reckon.
I have a few copies of the first issue still available here, and the second issue is also still available but going fast.
The second issue features 28 pages of content. The zine is professionally printed by the fine people at Best Value Copy. Additionally, I will send a pdf version of the zine to the email address attached to your order! If you buy a copy soon it should get it to you well before Halloween.
This issue's contents include:
Lurid Locations explores a Wild West-themed version of Nova Vaasa.
Baleful Backgrounds presents two new backgrounds for characters: dandy and inquisitor.
Seeds of Evil gives advice on using the adventures in Candlekeep Mysteries in the context of a Ravenloft campaign.
Cryptic Alliances revisits and updates seven classic factions and secret societies from Ravenloft’s prior iterations.
Portraits of the Damned details Donesta Sangino, a villainous artist who crafts monsters from paint and canvas, and the Viscount, a drow gunslinger haunted by his violent past.
Tragic Heroes focuses on grim gunslingers you might create as characters for games set in the Domains of Dread.
Forbidden Tomes provides a bibliography of a particular genre of horror for your edification and entertainment. This installment explores body horror.
Check it out on my Big Cartel page. If you need to catch up on the first issue, I've got a few copies left.
Sentiments like the one to the right, which was the beginning of a contentious Twitter thread about how you should price your rpg work, are essentially well meaning--but I've begun to find them more and more hectoring in tone and frequency.
This problem is pervasive in the language used to discuss the topic. Product. Strategy. Loss leader. The assumption is that to create is to engage in commerce. I can think of a lot of reasons to give stuff away for free, none of which have to do with a lack of self-respect or a sales strategy. 
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| Not bad for a year's work |
