Wednesday, May 20, 2026

Ornamental Women is Now Available!

After a long, long road to get to this point, I can now say that Ornamental Women, my first novel, is available now at Amazon as a trade paperback and ebook!

Set in my long-running Krevborna setting, my novel is definitely in the dark fantasy/Gothic fantasy style, but with a few surprises. In lieu of writing the tradition back cover copy, this is how I describe the novel:

Death and Art
A grave robber and her automaton companion search for an absent corpse and a missing book of poems…

Heaven and Hell
A devil-worshipping bard plots the murder of an angel...

Love and Blood
A monster hunter and his witchy lover seek to thwart the rise of a pagan death goddess… 

 

Now, as a first-time novelist, you might have some reservations about giving me, a relative unknown, your time and money. Well, why not try before you buy? At this link you can read the first three chapters of the novel in full. 

If you're a reader looking for books informed by an author's idiosyncratic interests and obsessions, I think you'll find Ornamental Women to be chock full of my particularities rather than doing the paint by numbers trope checklist thing. While I won't say that my novel is a an entirely new kind of storytelling or anything like that, I don't know of any dark fantasy novels that have: 

  • A plot inspired by the history of Pre-Raphaelite art
  • A first date in an absinthe bar 
  • Bards powered by the Gothic fantasy equivalent of black metal
  • A grave robbing heroine who suffers from depression 
  • A nunsploitation-inspired chapter set in a brothel 
  • An automation discovering the joys of a little free library
  • Freaks with mensur fighting scars, a different freak with a monstrous six-fingered hand, and yet another set of freaks with a fetish for redheads.

In short, my ideal reader is a sicko who loves dark fantasy, the Gothic, and Victoriana.

Also, it's important to me that you know this: no AI technology was used in the creation of this book. I wrote it using ideas from my human brain and typed it up with my human hands. You deserve better than AI slop. 

I sincerely hope some of you pick up my novel and give it a read. I'm totally biased, but I think it's actually a really fun read with action, horror, magic, mystery, and a dash of romance. 

Sunday, May 17, 2026

The Phantom Detective and Tomoe Gozen

Bad Books for Bad People, Episode 93: The Phantom Detective - The Vampire Murders and Tomoe Gozen

This month, Jack and Kate go into their stash of vintage paperbacks and engage in a little show-and-tell session. Kate brings The Phantom Detective: The Vampire Murders by Robert Wallace, a 1965 reprint of a pulp hero mystery from 1940, and Jack’s choice is Tomoe Gozen by Jessica Amanda Salmonson, a psychedelic 1981 trip through a fantasy version of Japan.

Who is the vampire of Vampire Mountain? At what point must a master of disguise admit he isn’t? Is it ever ok to wield a foreign sword? How many double crosses must be double crossed before a cohost’s brain actually breaks during recording? All these questions and more will be explored in this episode of Bad Books for Bad People.

Wednesday, May 13, 2026

Ornamental Women Cover Reveal

As some of you may know, my first novel is coming out soon! Take a look at the awesome cover designed by Becky Munich:


What a thing of beauty! Becky really hit it out of the park for me.

As I type this blog post, a proof copy is on its way to me. Once I make sure the internal layout is correct and give it one last proofread, Ornamental Women will be available for purchase. 


Actually, the proof arrived before I could even get this posted. Check it out, it's a real goddamn book!





The proofread is currently in progress. Maybe this is a gross thing to say, but I'm really enjoying reading my own book. I wrote the kind of book I want to be in the world.

I'm very excited to share this novel with all of you. Set in the world of Krevborna, Ornamental Woman follows three narrative strands that eventually interweave--a depressed grave robber and her automaton companion are on the trail of an absent corpse and a missing book of poems, a black metal bard plots to murder an angel, and a famed monster hunter and his horrible witch lover seek to thwart the rise of a pagan death goddess.

Watch this space for more.

Sunday, May 10, 2026

PLANET MOTHERFUCKER: MONDO MONOCHROME EDITION NOW AVAILABLE!

You can't keep a good game down, and it turns out you can't keep a bad-ass game down either. PLANET MOTHERFUCKER is back in a brand-new edition that combines the core book with all four supplements in one very affordable, black-and-white package. 192 pages of psychotronic grindhouse post-apocalypse madness, baby.

Available here in my Big Cartel shop as both print+pdf and pdf versions.

What's it all about? PLANET MOTHERFUCKER is role-playing game set in an alternate-reality Earth where the worst fears of the Cold War came to pass in 1965—the Year of the Thunderkiss—when some fat-fingered bureaucrat pressed the shiny red button and set off Armageddon.

Instead of resulting in a grim, gritty wasteland where humanity struggles to survive, the atomic fallout warped the fabric of reality itself. America was twisted into a psychoholic grindhouse realm where mutant ratmen drag race hot rods against murder-minded robots, where lunatic wolfmans square off against brick house amazon princesses, and where doom nuns and foxy witches command the awesome powers of the bump ‘n’ grind occult. The mood and aesthetics of B movies, outlaw comics, and trash culture have bled into our world, creating a fucked-up melange of cartoonishly overheated sex and violence.

PLANET MOTHERFUCKER is ultra-violent, maxi-trashy, supra-lowbrow, and über-depraved. The characters are larger-than-life and garishly hued in neon technicolor and greasepaint. Horror movie monsters prowl the wastes and clown gangs rampage through the streets of what used to be called civilization. Fuel up your chainsaw, pop a clip into your Uzi, and rev your V8 engine—it’s gonna get messy out there.

The rules have been tuned-up and turbo-charged to make the characters super-sized and about as competent as the morons in a low-budget action flick. Characters in PLANET MOTHERFUCKER might still die, but they aren’t failsons right out of the gate. That shit is as useless as tits on a tractor.

Contains all the rules you need to play: setting, character creation, action resolution, combat, enemies, adventure seeds, npcs, random tables, and more! Recommended if you like Rob Zombie, the Goon, Mandy, Joe R. Lansdale, Preacher, Big Trouble in Little China, Sin City, Escape From New York, The Venture Bros. Not recommended if you're allergic to juvenile humor, foul language, and bad attitudes.





Wednesday, May 6, 2026

Total Skull: April, 2026

Things that brought me delight in April, 2026:


Predator: Badlands

Predator: Badlands was way more fun than I was anticipating. This definitely isn't Predator in the horror sense; this is very much an action-oriented sci-fi romp. In fact, I'd hazard to say that Predator: Badlands is more successful at being what modern Star Wars wants to be, but can't because of the burden of franchise it has to carry. The formula does work though: a runty predator teams up with a damaged android and a cute lil guy to push back against the corporate malfeasance of Weyland-Yutani. See why this feels like a better Star Wars? There's a cute lil guy! Anyway, the final line of this movie was laugh out loud funny. 


Ava Reid, Innamorata

I can see why the booktokkers and romantasy girls were absolutely tilted by Ava Reid's Innamorata. I've read Reid before--her dark academia A Study in Drowning, her folk-fantasy Juniper & Thorn, and her fantasy-inflected Lady Macbeth, but Innamorata is a different beast altogether. This is a dark fantasy story that starts with the ritual dismemberment of the main character's grandmother and only gets more extreme from there; Innamorata treads the path between the poetic dark sensuality of Tanith Lee and the grimdark violence of Anna Smith Spark. There are scenes of brutality in this novel that are going to stay with me for a long, long time. I loved this; it kept me guessing all the way through, and I can't wait for the sequel.


Archspire, Too Fast to Die

Tech death masters Archspire are back with another album and, in fact, it does appear that they are faster than ever--which doesn't seem humanly possible. But aside from the technical prowess, the thing that impresses me about Too Fast to Die is that the album doesn't sacrifice heaviness on the altar of the virtuosic; there are riffs on this album that easily rank among the most crushing stuff Archspire has ever written.


Sunn O))), self-titled

New Sunn O))) album, what the vibe? The first track pits squalls of feedback against grinding chords until an air raid siren emerges. And that's the vibe--a question, "What will emerge?" Will it be a violin-like tone in near-Danse Macabre intensity? Is it an out-of-control rockslide? Is it the howls of the damned? Is it Tony Iommi's secret chord? Is it--just kind of nothing? Except maybe more of the same? You know the drill; this is the kind of album you throw on when you want to fall into something and be tossed along the current. 


Mother Mary

I went into Mother Mary without having seen so much as a trailer for it; all I knew was that it was about a Lady Gaga-esque pop star. More specifically, Mother Mary--said pop star--shows up unannounced at the studio of the fashion designer who put her on the map with a request for a new dress. Immediately, we're privy to the fact that the once-strong relationship between these two inventive women has been sour for a long time--and yet they're linked by a shared sense of trauma. One thing that really impressed me about Mother Mary is that it's almost entirely focused on the intimate interactions between pop star and designer. Also impressive is just how beautifully shot the film is. The ending may be a little weak, but overall this was a great, unexpected experience.


Danza Macabre, Volume Three: The Spanish Gothic Collection

This collection of four Spanish Gothic films holds value simply for documenting what was coming out of Spain to compete with Italian products, Jean Rollin, and Hammer Horror's latter days, but aside from that The Night of the Walking Dead is worth the price of admission. Of the movies in this collection, I'd say it has the most original plot, with the vampire count choosing death for himself and refusing to turn his dying love into the undead to escape his tragic fate--which at least feels novel. It also features some interesting musical themes, as well as a carnivalesque gathering of the damned. Can't go wrong with that.


Lee Cronin's The Mummy

Maybe I'm tripping, but Lee Cronin's The Mummy (which is a truly annoying title, let's be honest) actually seemed pretty good to me. Like, yeah, it's absolutely not a mummy movie in any appreciable way. It is definitely a possession movie. As such, it is not a dry movie like a mummy flick should be. It is a very wet, squelchy movie. The climax does get a little Blumhouse-y, but it's actually a surprisingly mean and gross film. Don't watch this if you don't like kids getting messed up. I think that critics really got this one wrong.


Gwendolyn Kiste, The Haunted Houses She Calls Her Own

The Haunted Houses She Calls Her Own is an absolutely exquisite collection of horror tales from a modern master of the form. There is so much to love here that I don't really even know where to start; just banger after banger, rich with grime, heart, and some very nicely executed metatextual elements. Are you ready for a story about a woman with a dark secret hiding from her family in a video rental shop? A story where Mary Shelley meets Marie Antoinette? A story where Rasputin is a creepy sex ghost in downtrodden Detroit? You aren't, but you should read this collection anyway.


Frank Belknap Long, So Dark a Heritage

Better know for introducing the Hound of Tindalos into the Cthulhu mythos, Frank Belknap Long also wrote a few Gothic romances. So Dark a Heritage starts off with a bang: a newly married woman hanging curtains in her husband's ancestral home falls off a stepladder and is impaled on the curtain rod. A mere accident? Not on your life! This one has a bit of everything in the mix: mysterious tribal drums and a voodoo doll, a circle of druidic stones on the property of a Louisiana mansion, a horse violently branded with the devil's mark, hypnotism, and a precocious bug-collecting child. Strangely, a lot of ruminations on time here.


Mary Roberts Rinehart, Alibi for Isabel

Although this looks like a Gothic romance due to the cover art, Alibi for Isabel actually a fairly non-Gothic collection of short fiction from Mary Roberts Rinehart. That could be a disappointment, except for the fact that the stories in this collection provide a really interesting window into America during World War II. It's got the drama of night watchmen on the lookout for German saboteurs, the intrigue of a war-related revenge murder, and low-key anxieties about who will enlist and who will survive. So while this wasn't the kind of book that the cover hints at, it was actually pretty fascinating in total and each story was a unique slice of the era on an individual level.


Sunday, May 3, 2026

A Burial in Braelin

A new Krevborna campaign has begun! In this one, the characters are all mercenaries who have suffered a catastrophic loss. In fact, here's the "Story so Far" I wrote up for them:

The Charnel Hounds were a famed mercenary company that you were proud to count yourselves members of. All that has changed, of course. Fortunes turn, don’t they?

The life of a mercenary is a series of victories and losses, triumphs and defeats. In the Duchy of Trevania in the Ustalecht Paladinate, the Charnel Hounds suffered a catastrophic rout at the hands of a rival mercenary band called the Fist of Arjal. As the battle descended into chaos, it was every man and woman for themselves as your lines broke and you were scattered before the swords of the enemy. You suspect dark treachery behind the decimation, but everyone seeks to lay the blame elsewhere when things go wrong, don’t they?

You are among the few Charnel Hounds who survived the Trevanian Massacre. As he lay dying, the leader of your regiment, Captain Osvald Kaul, begged you to take his body for burial in his hometown–a place called Braelin in the Vespermark. A captain’s dying command is still a command, isn’t it?

As the ragged remnant of the Charnel Hounds, the future is yours to seize. Will you rebuild the company of the Charnel Hounds to reclaim your tarnished glory? Will you seek whoever betrayed the Charnel Hounds to get vengeance? Will you find another way to redeem your good names? History is yours to make, isn’t it?

You find yourselves trudging to the Vespermark in the cold spring rain, squelching through muddy fields, with a single horse pulling a cart laden with Captain Kaul’s coffin. As you enter Braelin, your first order of business is to arrange a burial for your fallen leader.


* * *

Characters

Dario Diego Durant, swashbuckling swordsman

Doctor Anastasia Nadya Strahov, a gun-priest who says strange thing about blood

Johanna Albrecht, a lycan bard with a particularly keen nose

Ulu, the party's urska mom

Varro, a young snow elf bearing a magical sword


***

Events

The first thing the characters did upon entering Braelin was stop in at Nokovik's Goods and Feed to learn the lay of the land and buy a couple shovels. The couple working at the store, Mae-Lin and Yungfang "Nokovik," looked to be of Far Eastern extraction; their surname is almost certainly not Nokovik. Yungfang explained that there was no functional church in Braelin, as the priest disappeared mysteriously a few years ago and the building had lay dormant ever since. However, there was a revelator of the heretical saint Vionka who maintained a shrine at the end of the cemetery who might be able to help them. 

On the way to the shrine, they spotted a walking dead man carrying an iron-shod bludgeon. They were stopped by a portly man smoking a pipe under an overhand in front of the town jail. He introduced himself as Ulysses F. Tavistock, Braelin's sheriff. In the course of their conversation--during which Ulysses was attempting to ascertain whether these well-armed newcomers were going to cause problems in town--they learned that he was a necromancer who animated the corpses of condemned criminals to serve as "deputies" that patrolled the town. Satisfied, he let them go on their way.

At the shrine, they met Sister Eliza, a young woman with unnaturally white hair. She offered to watch over Captain Kaul's coffin while they went to visit the Kaul House--Osvald Kaul's ancestral home--in search of any living relatives.

The Kaul House had seen better days, but it was still inhabited--by a butler named Beaumont D'Orleac (who seemed to slide out of the shadows) and a maid with bouncy blonde hair named Irenya Day. Beaumont was saddened to learn of "young" Osvald's death; he immediately sent Irenya to fetch the Rue sisters, as he thought they should be informed of the matter. He intimated that one of the Rue sisters had been romantically involved with Osvald in his youth, which was strange because when Morrigan and Pandora Rue arrived they looked far too young for that to be true. In face, they were pale twins who dressed in the manner of Siberskan aristocrats--Morrigan favored a riding outfit and tricorne hat, while Pandora wore a frilly dress. 

The Rue sisters explained that, as a condition of Osvald Kaul's will, the surviving members of the Charnel Hounds were to inherit Kaul House, as well as a small sum that paid for the butler's services and maintained the household. When the characters expressed a desire to make some money while in Braelin, the Rue sisters offered them a job: a young girl named Salva had gone missing, and they wanted the Charnel Hounds to find her and, if possible, bring her back to her family. As it turned out, Salva was the third child to go missing--one a month, in fact. Salva was last seen by Aivra Williams, the town's school teacher, as the girl headed toward the supposedly haunted Felken Woods. 

After a brief service by Sister Eliza, the Charnel Hounds buried their commander. The group then paid a visit to Aivra, who was a prim young woman with her burgundy hair pulled back into a tight bun. She told them what she saw through the schoolhouse window and gave them a description of what Salva had been wearing just before she vanished--noting particularly her bright red clogs.

The Rue sisters had given the group a scarf that belonged to Salva; using her lycan powers of tracking, Johanna was able to pick up the scent in the Felken Woods. The trail led them to the mouth of a cave nestled into the sodden earth. At the mouth of the cave was a single red clog. Before the entered, Varro realized that they were being watched for the trees. The Charnel Hounds executed a gambit to draw their would-be ambushers into an ambush of their own. Their new foes were human-like, but misshapen in body--and they smelled of entrails and rotting fungal matter. They were, however, quickly dealt with. A bit of early character development: Dario and Varro seem to have a bit of a rivalry in the group!

As they explored the cave system, they found some intriguing things that hinted at the kind of person or creature who had been stealing children from Braelin. They found a small library with books on herbs and alchemy (all written in Aelvani, the language of the fey); a scrying pool that showed them the image of a paddle steamer anchored in a river; an alchemy lab (the experiments in progress all looked like they were aimed at creating potions that could restore someone to their true form). They found a nest of more misshapen men, who were dispatched with great violence. They also found what appeared to be remnants of an old, discarded life at odds with this dank cave: a wardrobe full of rich elvish dresses, a cabinet of finely crafted porcelain dolls. 

Worse yet, the located a rubbish pit that contained a child's gnawed-upon ribcage. Whoever had eaten the child had very large, very sharp teeth.

Eventually, they also found trouble. In a sitting room, they were charged by two more of the misshapen servitors while the child-abductor scurried across the ceiling of the cavern. Anastasia tried to shoot her down, but the hag-like woman with long arms and sharp teeth proved difficult to wound. She also proved to be a very dangerous sorceress. She dropped from the ceiling, incanting a spell in Aelvani; the spell caused Ulu and Varro to leap to her defense. When Anastasia tried to shoot past them, Varro--against his own will--dealt her a savage blow from his magic sword that almost killed her on the spot.

This situation put the party in a tremendous bind: their two most dangerous comrades were now under the power of their foe. The hag grinned and asked them if they'd like to make a deal. That's where we left off until next week.

Sunday, April 26, 2026

The Saints

Carrying on from the previous post about the Church in Krevborna, this post will detail a handful of the Church's saints. 

* * *

Although the Church of Holy Blood reverences thousands of saints, the following are the most popular patron saints in Krevborna:


Jesa Khristosa, The Redeemer

Jesa Khristosa is the savior whose redemption was promised in the Holy Blood Bible. It is believed that the Khristosa’s Second Coming will occur during the End Times.

    • She is depicted as an emaciated woman soldier who has been scoured, crowned with thorns, and crucified.

    • It is a matter of theological debate whether the Khristosa is the mortal daughter of the Word and the Light, its earthly avatar, or a being of pure spirit; this debate is responsible for the schism of the Eastern and Western Churches.


Azia, Patron Saint of Scholars

Saint Azia was born a second son—yet she felt that her nature was essentially feminine and chose to live her life as a woman. 

    • She is depicted as an androgynous figure crowned with a wreath of golden thorns.

    • Saint Azia’s devotees gather and safeguard rare religious texts in their fastidiously cataloged archives. 


Filiona, Patron Saint of Lovers

According to scripture, Saint Filiona was a prostitute who gave up her profession to follow the Khristosa and preach at her side.

    • She is depicted as a woman of sorrowful beauty.

    • Besotted lovers sometimes pray to her to grant them the devotion of their desired partner, though this practice is regarded as heretical and pagan.


Mariana, Patron Saint of Mothers

Saint Mariana is the patron saint of mothers, healers, and maidens.

    • Saint Mariana is the virgin mother who gave birth to the Khristosa. 

    • Despite her association with chastity and saintly motherhood, Saint Mariana is depicted as a buxom, wild-eyed matron possessing a distracting beauty.


Nazaren, Patron Saint of Craftsmen

Said to be a humble blacksmith in life, Saint Nazaren labored nearly without rest so that he might give great tithes to the Church. 

    • The dwarves of Krevborna insist that Saint Nazaren was appropriated from their pantheon of honored ancestors.

    • Saint Nazaren is often depicted as a bearded dolvik whose body has been broken by his strenuous labors. 


Othric, Patron Saint of Soldiers

Saint Othric is the patron saint of warriors and the nobility. He was the patron saint of the Tsar’s family, in particular.

    • Saint Othric was a crusader who was martyred upon a pyre, but he was reborn from the ashes of his destruction. 

    • Saint Othric is usually depicted as a knight clad in fire-blackened armor. 


Vionka, The Saint of Death

Vionka is a heretical, non-canonical folk saint associated with death and protection from calamities.

    • Saint Vionka is depicted as a pale maiden clad in a black dress and wearing a matching lace veil; she is often shown accompanied by crows, ravens, and jackdaws.

    • Saint Vionka is prayed to by the desperate at small, secret shrines tended by her priesthood, who are known as revelators.

      

Yarushka, Patron Saint of Inquisitors

Yarushka is an exacting saint, and those who adopt her as their patron are among the most fanatical members of the Church.

    • Saint Yarushka is depicted as a wounded flagellant. 

    • Her followers are devoted to hunting witches, punishing heretics, and stamping out corruption within the flock.