The Last Stand of Grigori Trask

We finally wrapped up the Krevborna campaign that started in July of 2024. There were many times when I thought this one might just be scrapped; now that it's done, it's a weight off my shoulders. I had some fun, but not nearly enough to consider continuing this one further.

Characters

Panthalassa, primordial necromancer

Heck, revenant

Garazi, witch

Daytona, dhampir gunslinger

Khamaat, mummy mage

Events

The characters went into this one with a plan that they would ultimately abandon. They had their ally Nightsong, a diabolic bard, spread a tale of a mummy (Khamaat) who had raided the Church of Saint Brathis in hopes of luring the witchfinder Grigori Trask into an ambush. The plan had an obvious flaw: Trask had a score to settle with the rest of the group, and had no idea who Khamaat was--so it was unclear why he would be moved to take action here. I went with it, but I also gave Trask the kind of companions I imagined he would bring with him if he were after a mummy: he brought a pyromancer.

When the characters arrived at Vargas Bryn, the village where the Church of Saint Brathis was located, it was winter. They entered the church and saw a young mother, her child, and a shifty looking man praying in the pews. They let the bystanders go, but the church's priestess, Mother Signy, refused to leave. Threats of violence could not sway her; she had fought in Ontioch crusades and had taken a vow of pacifism--they could kill her and she would not fight back. 

In the church's crypts, they found the jawbone of Saint Brathis in a reliquary. Khamaat was nearly destroyed when she attempted to take it; as it turns out, the undead shouldn't handle holy relics. Daytona found another artifact within the church--a spearhead once wielded by Saint Othric. It would latter come in handy.

The group set up their ambush, but they hadn't put much thought into how they would defend the church from attack. Their unpreparedness became obvious when Garazi's familiar reported three riders entering the village and heading for the church. One of them dismounted, and entered the church; the others stayed atop their horses outside. Panthalassa tried to summon a giant spider to attack the interloper, but he sprinted to where she was hiding behind the altar and thwacked her with the flat of his sword, dazing her.

The others came piling out of their hidey-holes, but they were too far away to rescue Panthalassa. The interloper was none other than Wayland Morgaunt, the most famous monster hunter in Krevborna. He had been drawn to the church after hearing Nightsong's ballad second-hand. Wayland considered killing the "monsters" in the church anyway, but between their assurances that they wouldn't harm any innocents and the revelation of Panthalassa's ties to Nightsong and Serafina, he decided to just ride off and let this one go. Before leaving, he did give the characters valuable intel: he clued them into the fact that Trask was bringing a pyromancer and that the witch hunters had a captive: Thomasina Laurant, Panthalassa's pirate girlfriend.

The group decided that their plan to stage an ambush in the church was now untenable, so they mobilized to meet Trask's march on the road into town. And meet them they did. Trask's band consisted of Martin (a Church pyromancer, formerly a romantic interest of Garazi's), a gargoyle, a flesh golem, Wagner Highcross (Daytona's vampire gunslinger rival), and Trask himself (who was responsible for Heck's untimely death before returning as a revenant). 

The rest of the session was basically one huge brawl. Martin's fire magic made short work of Panthalassa's summoned creatures and did tremendous damage to Khamaat, who is highly flammable. Daytona found himself getting shot to pieces by Wagner. Heck was dogpiled by Trask and the gargoyle. The flesh golem's presence was so unnerving that several party members succumbed to fear. Garazi was miraculously unscathed by the flesh golem's attack.

Using the holy spear from the church, Daytona destroyed his rival; it was a good thing he had it too because that weapon was one of the few things the party had capable of actually killing a vampire. Khamaat released Thomasina from the cage in the back of Trask's wagon; Thomasina was able to grievously wound the gargoyle so that Khamaat could finish it off. Panthalassa convinced the flesh golem to stand down. Heck took Trask out, but as he fell he levied one last hammer blow that took Heck down. Garazi was able to heal Heck, who them punched Martin's face into pulp.

Battered and bloodied, the group made their way to an inn, where they were joined by Nightsong. It became apparent that the group's cohesion and willingness to fight the Hellwar was now at an end. Heck had picked up a nasty delusion that Trask was still alive--he wanted to continue seeking out his (actually deceased) nemesis. Garazi refused the offer to become the Devil's bride. Daytona wanted to get back to his lover. After delivering a satanic artifact, Khamaat really had no goals left to pursue. Panthalassa--had more pressing matters to attend to for the moment. Everyone went their separate ways, their chapter now concluded.

The Created

Today's blog post continues the exploration of non-human people you might play as characters in Krevborna. This time we're looking at "the created." Products of sorcery or mad science, the creatures within this category are artificially created beings that range from unique individuals to entire species engineered by design.

Golems

Most golems are unintelligent constructs built to serve their creators, but occasionally a golem achieves sentience or develops their own free will. The materials make to craft golems vary wildly. The “cauldronborn” servants made by witches are comprised of fungal matter and the viscera of slaughtered swine, while the automatons made by rogue inventors are constructed from iron, clay, or corpses. A golem might also be an ambulatory statue, an animate scarecrow, or a wooden marionette given life. Because they are not viewed as “real” beings, golems have no fundamental rights in most regions of Krevborna.

Gargoyles

At the height of the Church’s power its theurges used divine magic to animate the stone gargoyles carved atop its cathedrals. Created to defend holy sites, gargoyles have no lives of their own—until the places of worship they are charged with defending are destroyed. Most gargoyles die in defense of their bastions of the faith, but those few who survive discover that they now possess free will. Most fly away to parts unknown and are never seen again; a few remain to seek meaning in an existence now bereft of sacred duty.

Siziks

Siziks are the results of strange experiments carried out in the laboratories of Creedhall University; these experiments birthed a species of ratfolk with minds equal to those of humankind. Some siziks managed to escape captivity and have sought shelter in the city's sewers, but a portion of that cohort has fled Creedhall altogether. 

So far, the sizik have managed to keep their existence secret from the majority of mankind. They venture out of their warrens only under the cover of night to scavenge for food and goods. The most militant of the sizik want to strike back at the scientists of Creedhall University and free their fellows who remain test subjects in torturous laboratories.

Urska

The urska were sorcerously engineered by the vlaak as an attempt to design a race of impeccably loyal soldiers. Similar to humanoid bears in appearance, urska are generally regarded with awe and fear. Since the fall of the vlaak, they have founded their own enclaves in Krevborna’s northern reaches or joined communities willing to welcome them. Urska sometimes rally under the banner of a strong leader who commands their stalwart loyalty. Such leadership roles are only ever assumed when an urska manages to best all challengers in deadly, ritualized combat. 

Urska often favor attitudes best characterized as stoic and militaristic, though they also love crude humor and raucous bouts of feasting and drinking to excess. Urska generally cannot tolerate dishonesty; when an urska gives their oath, they would rather die than betray their word and bond.

Savage Worlds Stats

Below are some notes on using these ancestries in Savage Worlds.

Golems: the Construct ancestral ability is a must, but beyond that every golem character should be a unique creation dependent on the materials used to construct them and the purpose they were constructed for.

Gargoyles: here are the abilities I'd recommend for a gargoyle character

• Construct: They add +2 to recover from being Shaken, ignore one level of Wound modifiers, don’t breathe, and are immune to disease and poison. Wounds must be mended via the Repair skill. Each attempt takes one hour per current Wound level and ignores the “Golden Hour.” 
• Armor: +4 armor.
• Flight: The species can fly at Pace 24 and may “run” for 2d6″ of additional movement. 
• Claws: Str+d6.
• Camouflage: +2 to Stealth against stony surfaces.
• Reduced Core Skills: Gargoyles possess no core skills.
• Can't Heal: No capacity for natural healing or self-repair, but may otherwise be healed normally.
• All Thumbs: −2 penalty when using mechanical or electrical devices. If he rolls a Critical Failure while using such a device (and it doesn’t already have a built-in effect), it’s broken. 
• Can't Swim: −2 penalty to the Athletics skill when swimming and each inch moved in water costs 3″ of Pace. 
• Illiterate: Cannot read or perform higher math.
• Outsider: Outsiders subtract 2 from Persuasion rolls made to influence those who aren’t her own kind. It also means the character has few or no legal rights in the main campaign area. 
• Monstrous Form: They can only wear customized armor and subtract 1 from Trait rolls when using non-customized equipment and vehicles. Items can be customized to work for the character for 100% of the base cost.
• Attribute Penalty: -2 penalty to Smarts rolls.

Siziks: The ratling ancestry in the Fantasy Companion is perfect right out of the book.

Urska: here are the abilities I'd recommend for an urska character

• Blunt: Taught that might makes right, urska struggle with diplomacy and tact. They have the Mean Hindrance.
• Claws: Urska claws cause Strength+d6 damage, adding +4 if the character runs at least 5” (10 yards) and hits with them.
• Cold Resistance: Urska receive a +4 bonus to resist cold effects. Damage from cold is also reduced by 4.
• Heat Weakness: Urksa suffer a –4 penalty to resist heat effects and take +4 damage from heat and fire. 
• Hulking: Urska are tall and broad, adding +1 to their Toughness. They are Size +1.
• Martial Code: Honor is very important to urska. They generally keep their word, don’t abuse or kill prisoners, and feel duty-bound to respect those who have bested them.
• Tough: Urska starting Vigor is d6, increasing the limit to d12+1.
• Uneducated: Urska society favors physical prowess over intellectual ability. Smarts rolls are made at −1.
• Unwieldy: Their muscular frames causes urska to subtract two when using equipment designed for smaller beings, and they cannot wear humanoid armor or clothing. Equipment, armor, food and clothing cost double the listed price. 
• Very Strong: Urska start with Strength d8, increasing their maximum Strength to d12+2.

Operation Diabolique

As part of my Halloween game offerings, I ran a nightmarish session of AG3NTS OF CRVCIBLE, a game of secret agents in a world of dreams that I wrote. It was not an entirely successful session, but it was interesting if nothing else. Here's what went down:

The mission began with the agents standing on the street in a warehouse district of The City. Down the street was a nightclub with a neon sign that read Club Thelema. The club was only admitting people wearing masks, but luckily each agent had a mask in their hands: Agent Romanov had a devil mask, Agent Warbler had a cardinal mask, Agent Burgundy had a mask resembling Munch's The Scream, and Agent Television had a Nixon mask. The agents got in line and were admitted to the club. 

Agent Romanov made his way to the bar and ordered a martini. He learned from the bartender that the club was owned by the enigmatic "Baron," and that Lady Tetragrammaton, an extremely famous pop star, was holding court in the VIP area. He also learned that there were some high-stakes poker tables in the basement.

Agent Television got on the dance floor; pretty soon, two sweaty women were dancing all up on him. He declined the opportunity to find out what they knew. 

The agents discovered that one of the waitresses at Club Thelema was actually Agent Vanguard undercover. She told them that her three partners were killed in the club; they were trying to trace some sort of secret product that was coming into the club and never appeared to leave the premises. 

She also pointed out "the Laughing Man," the club's feared enforcer.

Speaking of the Laughing Man, he joined Agent Romanov and Agent Warbler in the elevator as they went down to the basement to scope out the gambling area.

Agent Television and Burgundy went around to the back of the club, where they hid and watched what was going on at the loading dock. They saw a truck pull up; three coffins were unloaded out of the back and placed on gurneys to be wheeled inside. The agents followed the porters in, then ducked into what appeared to be a morgue to avoid detection. 

After confronting the porters, the agents were able to take them hostage. Opening the coffins revealed interior compartments holding jars of powder. The porters explained that the powder was a drug called Sandman. Agent Television tried Sandman and promptly had an out of body experience. The porters were left tied up in the morgue; the agents then swapped the Sandman for an innocuous powder and the drug was hidden in the dumpsters out back. 

Back down in the gambling area, Agent Romanov ended up playing head-to-head against Doctor Sloan, the Baron's personal physician. Agent Romanov won. Agent Romanov was able to convince Doctor Sloan that he was looking to get high; the Doctor led Agents Romanov and Warbler into his basement office. Disturbingly, the Doctor's office featured a woman chained up within a human-sized cage. The agents indulged in some Sandman. Deciding that the woman needed to be freed, Agent Warbler attacked Doctor Sloan, but was injured in the process. Ultimately, Argent Warbler was able to kill the doctor and saw off his hand to use to open the doors to the restricted areas on this level. 

Up top, Agents Burgundy and Television got into a firefight with the Baron's men. After eliminating them, the agents fled the scene--effectively taking themselves out of the game for the rest of the session. 

Back in Sloan's office, the agents unchained Rosa, the woman from the cage. They saw that she had a bladed Ouija planchette chained to her wrist. She told them she couldn't leave Club Thelema until an "implant" was removed from her body. Luckily, she knew where the operating theater was, and offered to lead them to it.

Unfortunately, on the way they were confronted by the Laughing Man. The Laughing Man proved to be too much for them to handle. Even worse--it was clear that the Laughing Man and Rosa were in cahoots. A wrong turn brought them into a corridor where the walls were made of flesh--they realized that proceeding further down the corridor would result in them being consumed. 

It was at this point that part of the mystery became clear: that corridor led down the Baron's gullet; he was being fed Sandman, hidden inside human corpses in the operating theater, to keep him "asleep."

The agents attempted to run, but Agent Warbler was killed before she could reach the elevators. Agent Romanov escaped and made his way to Agents Television and Burgundy. The agents ejected from the dream, the goals unfulfilled and their understanding of the situation incomplete. 

The Pomenysh

I've been working on expanding the available information on the various non-human (and semi-human) ancestries available to players in Krevborna. The ancestries can be sorted into three basic categories: mortal children of the fey, humans altered by curses, magic, or mixing with inhuman bloodlines, or creatures that were created through magic or science (or magical science). For the first installment of these deeper-dives, I'm posting about the pomenysh--those whose origins lie with the fey.

The Pomenysh

The pomenysh are the mortal descendants of the fey who lost their immortality by tarrying too long in the mundane world. Despite being incredibly varied in appearance, humankind tends to view the various peoples that make up pomenysh as possessing a stable group identity; in actuality, they are very different ancestries who are as likely to hold each other in antipathy as they are to find common cause. The one thing that truly unites the pomenysh peoples is their status as outsiders in a human-dominated world. 

Dwarves

Hard-working and industrious, the dwarves yearn for the mines—or are at least called to toil in the dark places within the earth. Dwarven society lauds excellence and skill; expert craftsman, canny traders, and blooded warriors are regarded as possessing a nobility of spirit and are afforded honor among their people.  

However, equally important to dwarven psychology is the importance of revenge and recompense. Dwarves hold grudges with the same fervor that pious priests treat their faith; to a dwarf, a grudge is a sacred burden that must be settled. The stubborn intensity with which dwarves pursue their grievances has led to inter-familial feuds, genocidal wars, and suicidal vendettas. 

Elves

The elves are often viewed as the most “aristocratic” of the pomenysh, though the true fey regard elves as degenerates who have strayed too far from the capricious magic of the Verdant Lodge. Mankind’s treatment of the elves has been no better; historically, negative stereotypes about elves, such as that they steal human children to leave changelings in their place or that they are soulless and cannot be redeemed, have been used as justification for annexing elvish land and implementing anti-elvish pogroms.

Elves take on aspects of the environments in which they dwell, which explains why forest elves are brown-skinned and as tall and lean as trees, while the snow elves are alabaster-pale and coldly cruel. Most elves are plagued with melancholia over what they have lost—be it the immortality of their ancestors or the lands that were stolen from them.

Gobkin 

Hunchbacked and twisted of limb, the gobkin were once the subaltern servants of the elves. When the elves lost their status as rulers of the land, their hold over the gobkin was also broken; freed of their magical oaths to serve the elves, the gobkin sought shelter in the most remote corners of the natural world, such as perilous bogs, deep cave systems, and wind-blasted moors.

In ancient times, the tsars of Krevborna kept gobkin as their court jesters—their malformed bodies and mischievous wits were regarded as the height of royal entertainment. The gobkin have never forgotten—or forgiven—their abject status among men and elves; they hold both peoples in malicious contempt. The gobkin have the worst reputation of all the pomeynsh, and not without good cause. While not every gobkin is a sharp-toothed murderer or an unpredictable scoundrel, those are apt descriptions for the majority of their kind. The rare gobkin who strives to do better faces a steep uphill battle against prejudice. 

Hobbfolk

Of all the pomenysh, the hobbfolk are the most integrated into human society. Perhaps their resemblance to human children aided their assimilation; indeed, humans often treat hobbfolk as naive rustics or untutored simpletons in need of guidance and protection. Some hobbfolk play up their diminutive helplessness, effectively turning mankind’s paternal attitude to their advantage.

Hobbfolk usually form tight communities based on mutual reliance, but in rare cases a hobbfolk is struck with an incurable urge to travel the world and seek adventure. Hobbfolk given to wanderlust are regarded by other hobbs with a mixture of horror and heroic admiration. 

***

Savage Worlds Stats

Since we tend to use Savage Worlds for our Krevborna games these days, here's how I'd stat up this batch of ancestries.

Dwarves: The dwarves straight from the Fantasy Companion are basically perfect.

Elves: The elves from the Fantasy Companion work well as-is, especially when you take into account the advice for creating variant branches of the elven family tree. I've already posted my specific stats for the snow elves here.

Gobkin: Use either the goblins or the orcs from the Fantasy Companion, depending on what flavor of gobkin you're going for.

Hobbfolk: Half-folk are the answer. I'd ignore the alternate half-folk suggestions, though.

Krevborna Theatre Halloween Film Fest 2025

Last year I did a "Krevborna Theatre Halloween Film Fest," streaming a bunch of movies for the folks on the Tales of the Grotesque and Dungeonesque Discord. Part of the conceit was that each movie was presented by Serafina, the graverobber main character of my novel, as if she was a horror hostess in the Elvira or Vampira vein. Some events are worth turning into a tradition, so we did it again this year. These are the movies Serafina deigned to show us, along with the in-character blurbs I made to announce each movie, horror hostess-style.

The Skeleton Key

"There's a chill in the air and pumpkin beer on the shelves, and we all know what that means--it's time to open the cinematic crypt and unearth some forgotten frights. First up on our October tombstone slate: The Skeleton Key, a film guaranteed to conjure up something sinister as a hospice worker delves into the secrets of a Southern plantation house."

A Dark Song

"Halo there, boils and ghouls. It is I, your heaven sent horror hostess. This Tuesday, at 8:30 est, I'll be streaming A Dark Song, a meditative horror flick about a woman who enlists the aid of a dodgy occultist to summon an angel. We'll have a divine time, even if this movie isn't exactly uplifting."

Argento's Dracula

"Everyone expects Dracula to have some bite, but are you ready for a Dracula that really sucks? Protect ya neck because on Tuesday at 8:30pm I'll be streaming a version of Dracula by past-his-prime horror maestro Dario Argento, who drains the blood out of Bram Stoker's classic with his adaptation."

The Cell

"Set your alarm clocks for Tuesday, 8:30 est because I'll be streaming a dreamy little flick called The Cell. Starring Jenny from the block, this one delves into the unconscious mind of a serial murderer--isn't that a killer premise?"

Dark Shadows: The Vampire Curse

"Welcome to Collinwood...Saturday I will be streaming a compilation of Dark Shadows episodes called The Vampire Curse at 2pm est. This one has it all: witches, vampires, and high-stakes drama. Come for the haunting theremin, stay for the 1960s soap opera."

Inferno

"Some of you know that I have a burning passion for horror movies--they really light up my otherwise dreary life. Bring your matches and meet me in the theater at 8pm est because I'll be streaming Dario Argento's Inferno tonight."

Total Skull: The Best of October 2025

I used to post monthly "best of" posts recapping the coolest stuff that came my way every month. People seemed to like them, but I burned out on writing the posts. But--I'm giving it another go. What better month to kick things off again than October, the greatest month of all? 

The Savage Hunt of King Stakh

Among the rogue's gallery of horror movies I watched in October, The Savage Hunt of King Stakh really stood out as something special. Savage Hunt is a Belarussian film from 1980 that has recently been restored for the Deaf Crocodile imprint. The film is about a man who stumbles into the castle of a beautiful young woman who seems doomed to die from a horrible curse that haunts her family line; due to the misdeeds of the past, she believes she is fated to be killed by a spectral huntsman. Of course, there's more to the story that just the threat of looming catastrophe. Savage Hunt mixes folk horror, elements from from Euro Gothics, and a certain Radcliffean sensibility that feels rare in horror cinema. Beautifully filmed, this one haunted me for days after watching.

House of 1000 Corpses

I spent some time in October studying the Bible aka the recent House of 1000 Corpses production book. If you know me at all, you know that this movie means a whole hell of a lot to me. The book contains Rob Zombie's shooting script, behind the scenes and candid photographs, pre-production design illustrations, and stellar art by David Hartman. The House of 1000 Corpses book is probably only for the diehard fanatics, but fellow obsessives will thrill to see how lines from the film evolved, as well as all the material that was cut from the script. I love Rob Zombie's character drawings here; they absolutely capture the development of the film's grindhouse aesthetic. Also, the notes from the cast to Rob Zombie make it pretty clear that this project was a blast to work on. Now I gotta go watch the movie again for the thousandth time. 

Jo Kaplan, When the Night Bells Ring and It Will Just Be Us

I've been meaning to read a novel by Jo Kaplan for a while, so I decided there wouldn't be a better time than October. I read When the Night Bells Ring first and loved it so much that I immediately bought a copy of It Will Just Be Us to chase it with. (My copy of When the Night Bells Ring, purchased on eBay, came signed even though that wasn't mentioned in the listing--neat.) 

When the Night Bells Ring is a novel with dual timeless. In the "present," we follow a duo of women scavenging for resources in a world ravaged by a climate apocalypse. Their roving takes them into an abandoned mine, where one of them is injured and their means of egress is taken away. As they explore, they find the journal of a woman who moved to the town that used to work the mine back in the nineteenth century. Her story is one of a wary community of miners who fear the predatory attacks that came from within the mine itself. The storylines converge in a really interesting way, but I won't spoil that big reveal. Instead--just pick this up.

In some ways, It Will Just Be Us is a much more straightforward read: the hermetically sealed life of a reclusive woman living in a haunted house with her aging, increasingly erratic mother is shaken up by the arrival of her pregnant sister. When her sister comes to stay after a fight with her husband, a new specter comes to the fore--and it might be the "ghost" of the main character's unborn nephew, prophesizing the atrocities that he will commit later in life. But what can be done to stop the coming of a monster? Between It Will Just Be Us and When the Night Bells Ring, Jo Kaplan has become an author to watch.

Frayle, Heretics & Lullabies

Doom metal--with a pop sensibility? This shouldn't work, but it absolutely does. I've been a fan of Frayle for a while now, but it feels like they've been building up to their definitive release; their previous records are really good stuff, though you get the sense while listening to them that they were still assembling their unique voice. Heretics & Lullabies is the culmination of that effort--it's their first truly great album. The riffs are slow-moving and crushing, as the genre demands, but Gwyn Strang's whispery soft voice adds a texture you don't really get in doom metal. More importantly, the band isn't afraid of writing music with actual hooks in it. 

Cartoon Roots: Halloween Haunts

I picked up this disc of olde timey Halloween-themed cartoons dating from 1907-1936 on a whim. I went into this expecting nothing more than a collection of historical curiosities, but I came away pretty impressed by the inventiveness of these animated shorts; in particular, the way that older cartoons approach animation--the frenetic chaos of it, the melodramatic repetition of gesture--stands up pretty well for itself against more modern techniques and conventions. There is also a real willingness to get weird with it, possibly because there was no set template yet for what a cartoon should look like. Some of these are manic fever dreams, and they're all the more entertaining because of it.

Harris Lahti, Foreclosure Gothic

I was expecting a novel about the Gothic menace of the housing market--something dealing with the horror of losing a house to foreclosure or the ghosts of a failed home inherited by a new buyer--but what I got instead was a powerful, literary slice of life that is rich with the small triumphs and inevitable defeats that come with the human condition. And I am not mad about it. There are definitely creepy, supernatural things going on in this book, but it is in no way a "horror novel." Hopefully that warning will spare some of you from disappointment, but I do think this is a book worth checking out. The way it follows a man from his idealistic dreams of making it in Hollywood, falling in love with a enigmatic woman, changing the course of his life to become a house-flipper so he can have a family with her, etc. is done masterfully; both the broad brushstrokes and minute details used to portray a man's life are wondrous, and the use of voice in Foreclosure Gothic is a revelation. 

Frankenstein

We drove a hour each way to go to a one-screen theater in Manlius, NY to catch Guillermo del Toro's Frankenstein before it hits Netflix. There I am, in front of the theater. As expected, del Toro beautifully captures the visual language of the Gothic; every scenic tableau is a field of morbid possibility and dread. Fair warning, though: anyone expecting a movie "accurate" to Mary Shelley's vision is bound to be disappointed. There are many changes in this version of the tale, particularly in the moral nature and tone of the ending. Personally, I'm fine with the changes--they're interesting, and they serve del Toro's purpose. 

The one thing I was less enthused about was that the subtext is often made text by bits of ham-fisted dialog. When a character says "Victor--you are the monster" with his dying breath--it feels like the film isn't taking its audience seriously.

Jacob Elordi is especially fantastic as the monster. His performance is nuanced, capturing everything from a childlike misapprehension of the world around him to a seething cauldron of hatred and rage. I don't put much stock in film awards, but Elordi's work in Frankenstein should be recognized!

Caitlin Starling, The Graceview Patient

Of all the types of "body horror," medical horror seems to hit the hardest, for me. Caitlin Starling's The Graceview Patient is about a woman at the end of her rope dealing with an autoimmune disorder. When she's offered the chance to take part in the clinical trial for a revolutionary, experimental treatment--well, she doesn't necessarily jump at the chance, but like many people facing a medical crisis it's the only hope she has left. Obviously, nothing is quite what it seems in the hospital, though the main character's perceptions are always in doubt due to her illness and the extreme nature of the treatment she's undergoing. 

WNUF Halloween Special and Out There Halloween Mega Tape

I spied this blu ray set of the WNUF Halloween Special and the Out There Halloween Mega Tape and just had to pick it up because of the retro-style art on the slipcase. I didn't even really know what I was getting; the copy on the back really played up the idea that this was a compilation of a local TV broadcast from yesteryear. Well, that's the conceit, at least. The WNUF Halloween Special looks like an 80s broadcast of a haunted house investigation, complete with pitch-perfect local TV commercials, but things go horribly wrong. The Out There Halloween Mega Tape is supposed to be a 90s broadcast on the same channel, but this time it focuses on the possibility of an alien visitation. These movies are hilarious, and they absolutely capture the retro Halloween feeling, but they're also totally credible as movies in their own rights. Pick this double-disc set up while you still can!

The Autumnal Pilgrimage

No October is complete without a trip to the Corn Maize out at Stoughton Farm in Newark Valley, NY. This year I think we did a personal best: we finished both mazes in 36 minutes. I also love to hit up their refreshments. Got a bottle of my favorite root beer and tried Wild Bill soda, which was great. We topped the day off with a visit to Brickhouse Pizza Co. in Owego for one of their awesome pizzas. They have the little pepperoni that curls up into glorious cups of delicious grease. Best pizza in Owego.

Camp Crystal Meth

My pal Mattie ran her first game last Friday, and it was a hoot and a half. Super fun time, she had a great sense for pacing right out of the gate, and she really hit all the raunchy notes that make a PLANET MOTHERFUCKER game feel like a night out at the local Waffle House. Also, it was my first time actually getting to be a player in a PMF game (I've only ever been in the driver's seat), so that was extra cool.

Here's what went down.

There were four of us, a scumbag with a mohawk, a preacher who didn't seem to know much about religion, a werewolf with movie-star looks, and an erection-poppin' goon, and we were on our way to Gnawlins when we realized we took a wrong turn and were almost out of gas. Luckily, we made it to a farmhouse where we bartered with an old coot named Willard--he'd give us a can of gas and map if we agreed to head over to Camp Crystal Meth and clear out whoever was killing off the nubile, sexed-up, and drugged-out teenagers that liked to congregate there.

As red-blooded Americans, it was our duty to make sure those kids had a safe place to do meth and screw.

Over at the camp, we encountered a number of horrors: a blood-soaked crime scene, a girl with a genuine WAP, and a dude fighting for his life as he took a monstrous shit. We also agreed to retrieve a girl's vibrator from where she lost it in the camp's barn--she rewarded us with a sweet bow and bunch of arrows. We also traded a box of Twinkies to another chick for the promise of medical treatment in case we got our shit wrecked at some point at the camp.

Crossing the lake in a kayak and a rowboat, we got ambushed by a fucked-up gillman, but we ruined his fucking day. When we found a stereo to play a cassette we discovered early in the adventure, we learned that the killer--who was attacking the kids with a variety of gardening implements--was probably the grown-up child of a lady with a less-than-savory approach to childrearing. Back on the lake, we went behind the waterfall and found a grotto where the killer was making his lair. He was a tough fucker, but we filled him full of holes too.

Camp Crystal Meth was now clear for teenagers to get knocked up and addicted to drugs in once more. All in a day's work, really. We got our map and our gas, and were off to Gnawlins. After all, them beads ain't gonna throw themselves.