Ravenloft Remix: G'henna

G'Henna

Precis: Tibet/theocracy through a Gothic lens.

Conspectus: A dying island ruled by the priests of Zhakata, the beast-god; Yagno Petrovna is the spiritual and political leader of G'Henna; all aspects of life in G'Henna revolve around the worship of Zhakata—starvation is considered an honorable death as it proves one's devotion to the beast-god; the typical home in G'Henna is filled with religious artifacts, including a drinking vessel made from the skull of a family member who starved for Zhakata which is offered to all visitors; because death is so prevalent in G'Henna children are not named until they reach the age of six; heretics preach the gospel of Zakhata the Provider—these heretics are turned into mongrelmen by a ritual performed by Petrovna when they are caught by his soldiers; it is rumored that Zakhata recently walked the world in the form of the Devourer, and left massive devastation in his wake; Zhukar is the principal city, as well as the religious and cultural center of the island; Yagno Petrovna's grand cathedral is located within Zhukar; Dervich is the other important city in G'Henna, but while it was once a busting trade city it has fallen on hard times and is haunted by a multitude of phantoms; each spring ushers in a period of deadly mudslides—this time is known as the “Season of Zhakata's Banquet.”

Commentary: I'm betting that G'henna's point of inspiration flew under the radar for most Ravenloft fans.  G'henna has its basis in pre-Chinese invasion Tibet.  And despite what white people with dreadlocks want to tell you, pre-Communist Tibet was a deeply fucked-up place.  You see, the Western world and the Middle East don't have a monopoly on using religion to do horrible things.  The Dalai Lama's Tibet was a theocracy and history tends to bear out the idea that theocracies are always a bad idea.  In the 20th century Tibet was still a feudal country with massive power inequalities.  TIBET STILL HAD LEGAL SLAVERY AND SERFDOM, FOR EXAMPLE.  So yeah, Free Tibet! indeed.  Tibet doesn't really figure into any Gothic literature that I know of, but hot damn is that place ripe for Gothic adventure; makes a nice alternative to the usual Evil Catholics, right?

Planet Motherfucker: Brickhouse Amazon and Creepbot 2000

Here's some ready-to-go character archetypes for PLANET MOTHERFUCKER statted out in Savage Worlds.

Brickhouse Amazon or Neo-Barbarian Stud

Yeah, the world has gone to hell in a hand-basket, but who cares? Your abs are ripped and you turn heads. And if those heads don't do what you want, you can crush them. Love 'em, leave 'em, crush 'em.

Agility d6, Smarts d4, Spirit d6, Strength d8, Vigor d8

Skills – Climbing d4, Fighting d6, Intimidation d6, Persuasion d6, Survival d6, Swimming d6, Taunt d6

Charisma +2; Pace 6; Parry 5; Toughness 6

Hindrances – All Thumbs, Stubborn, Arrogant

Edges – Attractive, Strong Willed

Gear – $500 in trade goods (toilet paper and beer)

* * *

Creepbot 2000

Although you've got a human brain floating around up in your chrome dome, you're still more machine than man. “Yeah, replace my feeble human body with a sweet robot chassis!” you said. What a gaff; now you're a hulking beast made of twisted metal, rusted circuits, and frustration on overdrive.

Agility d10, Smarts d4, Spirit d6, Strength d4, Vigor d6

Skills – Fighting d6, Climbing d6, Intimidation d6, Lockpicking d6, Shooting d10, Stealth d8

Charisma 0; Pace 6; Parry 5; Toughness 5

Hindrances – Wanted (major), Vengeful (minor), Mean (minor)

Edges – Assassin, Two-Fisted

Gear – $500 in trade goods (toilet paper and beer)

How I Prep a Scenario, Ulverland-style

On Friday I got to run a game for some folks I've only played with a couple of times.  It was a pretty fun game, I reckon, but to be honest I didn't spend a lot of time writing/prepping a scenario.  In fact, I rarely do. My experience is that the more you attempt to nail down what's going to happen the more you're actually straight-jacketing the possibilities for things to go in unexpected and fun ways.  Here's how I prep:

I usually start by picking something that already exists to riff off of.  In this case I decided to "remix" a movie I had just watched earlier in the week: The Vampire Lovers.  Basically, The Vampire Lovers is already a filmic remix of J. Sheridan Le Fanu's Carmilla, a tale of a young girl being preyed upon by a mysterious visitor.  (Now that I think about it, Carmilla is already a novelistic remix of Colerdige's poem Christabel.)  Halfway through the process I added elements drawn from the movie Black Sunday just to freshen in up.

Putting pen to paper, the first thing I do is sketch out the main NPCs.  Since the player characters will be investigating the strange goings-on in an ancestral manor house, I made notes on the residents:

Elena Karmore - 16, red-haired, beautiful & innocent, has fallen ill (lamprey like wound on throat, blood on sheets, weak and comatose)
Morgan Karmore - father of Elena, veteran of the Martyrlands, stern but caring, will do anything to save his daughter
Dr. William Hull - acts like he has something to hide, powerless to improve Elena's health
Carmen Delinda - governess, 30s, dark-haired
Boris Norling - hulking & strong, loyal servant of the Karmore family, superstitious, believes the illness to be witchcraft
Lizbeth McDonnel - 16, blonde, visiting the Karmore family, ethereal and stares into space

In Carmilla, it is the young woman visiting the afflicted family who is the predator--she's a vampire.  I decided I didn't want to go with another undead villain since I tend to overuse those, so I decided that witch was siphoning off Elena's blood with a strange external organ.  But I also wanted to switch it up a bit, so I decided at this point that the governess, Carmen Delinda, was the culprit.

I also decided to plant red herrings that could implicate any of the above as the cause of Elena's illness.  A search of the NPCs' rooms would reveal that Morgan had brought back books of black magic from his time in the Martyrlands, the doctor had a number of mutant organ specimens in jars of spirit, Carmen's room was conspicuously bare, and Boris's room had pagan idols mixed in with icons of the orthodox faith.  I also had a list of ways the NPCs would cast suspicion on each other, but these barely came up.

Now that I have Carmen established as the villain, I wanted to figure out who her minions are.  I decided on redcaps because redcaps are creepy as fuck and it makes sense that evil fey would align themselves with a pagan witch.  

I then decided that Carmen needed a second in command, so I made up an undead woman whose face is obscured by a black lace veil who drives a spectral coach.  Now that I've added an undead creature to the mix, I retroactively made Carmen a witch who has returned from the grave to seek revenge (shades of Black Sunday here.)

I had also decided that I wasn't going to make new stats for any of these.  Carmen is basically an evil cleric, the redcaps are goblins, the woman in black is a ghoul who uses a whip instead of claw/claw/bite.

At this point, the back-story has emerged in my head: a century ago the missionaries who brought the Church to this area waged a holy war against the indigenous pagans who refused to  convert.  The ringleader of the pagan resistance was a witch named Lady Nemarc (yeah, I did the anagram thing, sue me) who was eventually hung by Church inquisitors.  However, at the moment of her execution she cursed the town, saying "We will drink your children's blood!  Our vengeance will wait!"  Which means that Carmen has come back to fulfill the terms of her own curse; Elena is to be the first of her ex-sanguinated victims. 

I then sketch out some NPCs in the town who can reveals bits of the back-story as the investigation proceeds: local priestess, librarian, storyteller at the tavern, etc.

Now I need a hook, but this is easy when the players will go in the direction of adventure: they find an overturned carriage on their way to the village; the coachman bears a letter from Morgan Karmore to the cathedral to the south begging for them to send an exorcist to help his daughter.  Then, at the inn, Boris bursts in to recruit anyone he can to help protect Elena at the Karmore house.  Once there, the characters can investigate, ask questions, etc.  And then I make a list of things that might happen each day and night; characters being pulled aside by NPCs dropping hints and red herrings, attacks by the redcaps at night who want to remove Elena from her bedroom (which has been blessed by the local priestess, unwittingly preventing Carmen from feeding in that chamber), etc.

Then I sketch Carmen's lair, a simple faerie mound in which she was buried by the inquisitors who killed her. Add treasure, tidy up, and that's the framework.  Now, there is no telling what the players will do within that framework.  In fact, there were some really awesome things that emerged that I hadn't counted on: the party's assassin using her disguise ability and a ventriloquism spell to impersonate Carmen to send the redcaps away, a high-speed chase on horseback as several characters attempted to leap onto Carmen's spectral carriage, etc.  But those unexpected bits are the best part.  You can't plan on them, you just need to give them the space to come up naturally.

Ravenloft Remix: Zherisia

Zherisia

Precis: Fantasy London through a Gothic lens.

Conspectus: A small island that is home to a single city, Paridon; Paridon is a foggy metropolis that is a maze of cobblestone streets navigated by a multitude of carriages; food is grown on rooftop gardens, and fish are pulled from the Nodnal River that flows through the city's center; nightlife in Paridon is centered around meeting in public houses for merriment and drink; the folk are rigidly divided alone class lines; thievery, prostitution, and beggary is common among the lower orders; the vast majority of Paridonians do not believe in gods—rather, they follow an enlightenment philosophy referred to as “the Divinity of Humanity”; this philosophy states that progress is the highest good and that sentient beings should strive for self-perfection; Paridon is governed by a nine-member Council drawn from the upper ranks of society; beneath the city lies a twisting maze of dark tunnels, catacombs, and sewers that are inhabited by foul demons; the city itself is plagued by the machinations of doppelganger clans.

Commentary: *Sigh* That name!  Paris + London = PARIDON.  Fuck.  Wait, maybe it does quickly identify the thematic things going on there and is therefore a handy shortcut? Christ, I don't even know anymore.  RAVENLOFT!  Okay, no wait again, "Nodnal" is a fucking almost-anagram for London.  Fuck this.  

Anyway, Zherisia is made lame by the fact that the entire island exists for a single city.  I would at least have some towns and villages there even if the city is the focus.  I'd also locate the island off the coast of Mordent; since Paridon is London and Mordent is Hammer Horror rural England, they should be connected, right?  RIGHT?

What is the Deal with This Angry Mob?

What is the Deal with this Angry Mob?

Gothic literature is rife with anxieties concerning the uncontrolled actions of mobs, masses, and multitudes. The delusions of crowds are a magnification of our fears; the faceless majority is capable of anything when passions overtake reason and rationality. Here are a few angry mobs that the characters might encounter and interact with.

d8	The Deal
1	Bring the Killer to Justice! – a spate of serial murders have plagued the community, and the crowd believes that it has the perpetrator in its clutches. Of course, this person may or may not be the guilty party, but they are in immediate danger of being pulled limb-from-limb by the incensed mob.
2	Burn Witch Burn! – the mob has identified someone they suspect of being a witch, warlock, or other consort of dark powers. This could lead to a fraudulent trial based on spectral evidence, a dunking in a witch's stool, or a quick roast on a stake.
3	Grave Defilers – the masses believe that their village or town is haunted by a vampire who rises from the grave each night to suck their blood. They have identified a likely culprit (whether recently deceased or not – no matter) and are on their way to dig up that person's corpse and put a stake through its heart.
4	March of the Hungry – abused by conditions of famine, the crowd runs rampant as it attacks the local nobility's food reserves. “Let them eat cake” isn't what they want to hear; any unlucky people of wealth and privilege may face execution in the public square by means of a hastily-erected guillotine.
5	Monster Hunters – the mob believes that a recent death was caused by a monster inhabiting a nearby wild-land or abandoned castle, and has gathered with pitchforks, torches, and weapons to make war against the supernatural horrors of the world.
6	Religious Mania – the crowd has been swept up in the mania of a new religion. The assembled multitude rends its clothing and flagellates itself wildly as it heads to burn down an opposing church or place of worship.
7	Rioting against Taxation – the people are on their way to make a glorious revolution against what they feel to be unnecessary and unjust taxation. They have bricks, clubs, and firebombs at the ready, so the forces of authority had best beware.
8	Stop, Thief! – the mob is in hot pursuit of a thief, who may or may not be guilty of the burglary they are accused of; if the thief is guilty, the extenuating circumstances attached to their theft will fall on deaf ears unless the crowd can be brought to listen to reason or at least delayed until the law can arrive to take charge of the situation.

Welcome to Planet Motherfucker

Time to sketch out a new campaign setting for summer...something down and dirty.

PLANET MOTHERFUCKER

(art by David Hartman)

“There are only two important things in life—monsters and hot chicks.” – Rob Zombie

Welcome to Planet Motherfucker

Planet Motherfucker is an alternate-reality Earth where the worst fears of the Cold War came to pass in 1965—the Year of the Thunderkiss. Some fat-fingered bureaucrat pressed the shiny red button and set off Armageddon. However, instead of resulting in a grim, gritty wasteland where humanity struggles to survive, the atomic fallout instead warped the fabric of reality itself. Planet Motherfucker has been twisted into a psychoholic grindhouse world where giant ratmen drag race hot rods against murder-minded robots, where lunatic wolfmans square off against brickhouse Amazons, and where living dead girls, doom nuns, and Murican witches command the awesome powers of the bump-n-grind occult.

Planet Motherfucker is ultra-violent, maxi-trashy, supra-lowbrow, and uber-depraved. The characters are larger than life, garishly-hued in technicolor and greasepaint, and the only thing they value is getting lit in the company of a hot piece of ass. Grade Z horror movie monsters prowl the wastelands and clown gangs rampage through the streets of what used to be called civilization. Fuel up your chainsaw, strap on a shooting iron, and rev your engine—it's gonna get messy out there.

A Nomad's Guide to Murica

Murica used to be the Land of Opportunity—now it's a hellacious fuckscape of violence and high weirdness. Here's what's what in the Land of the Freak, Home of the Braze.

In the northeast you've got the Salem Commonwealth, an enclave of religious nuts who love inquisitions and burning “witches” at the stake. They're fighting a shadow-war with the Murican witches who want revenge against the Goodly Fathers and Goodly Matrons for killing off their kin.

A little further south you reach the city of New Amsterdamned. New Amsterdamned is ruled by Mayor Rudolph Ghouliani, but let's be honest—he pretty much lets organized crime do what they want. It's a vile cesspit of scum and villainy. Some say that anyone can enter the city, but it's a real bitch trying to escape.

The South—man, all hellbilly savages. The moonshine is tight and I like me some cornfed dames, but don't stick around too long; want to end up chicken fried and topped with gravy at some dirtbag's Waffle House? Didn't think so.

Far south at the gulf you've got the city of Necro-Leans. Nobody officially rules there, but nobody crosses the Voodoo Queen—or if they do they soon find themselves added to her zombie army. Great gumbo and sweet skin shows, though. Almost worth the perpetual swamp-ass smell.

Next door to that is Tex-Arcana, a lawless land of gun fighters, hellfire preachers, and hocus-pocus men. The Cadillac Kings, a consortium of rich cattle barons, is waging an all out struggle for land against the Border Bros. Best not get caught in the middle of that, pardner, unless you want to get fitted for a nice pinewood box.

What's there to say about the middle of the country except for that it's filled with fucking mutants who worship Tavatars? (Those are “tee-vee stars” to regular folks like you and me.) Up near the Super-Sized Lakes is Wendigo City, but I've never been there because I don't like cold weather or deep dish pizza. Farther north than that is just frozen hell and socialists. Oh yeah, if you're looking for a sweet Dragula, they make finest motors over in Destroit.

Out on the left coast is the Pornopolis of Lost Angels, a city governed by a council of “adult entertainers.” Everything is glitzy out there, but underneath the Teflon coating of tan skin and white smiles lurks some really dark shit. Hell, the people out there are so medically modified they practically count as cyborgs.

Speaking of cyborgs, there are a ton of robot monstrosities prowling the Silicrom Valley.

North of the Pornopolis is Saint Freakcisco, and man it is anarchy in that town. It's a perpetual carnal carnival there—circus freaks rub shoulders with New Age warlocks and they all get down at potlucks thrown by blood hippies. Helter skelter, baby!

North of that is the endless Twin Woods—which is chock full of Bigfoots, lumberjacks, and diners with really excellent coffee and cherry pie. The owls, though...they are not what they seem.

Inspirations

Comics: Spookshow International; The Nail; The Nocturnals; Tank Girl; Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles; Wormwood: Gentleman Corpse.

Tunes: White Zombie, La Sexorcisto; The Cramps, Stay Sick!; My Life With the Thrill Kill Kult, Sexplosion!; Gein and the Graverobbers, The Passion of the Anti- christ; The Misfits, Walk Among Us; The Birthday Party, Junkyard; Rob Zombie, Hellbilly Deluxe.

Flicks: House of 1000 Corpses; The Doom Generation; Wild at Heart; The Devil's Rejects; El Topo; Grindhouse; Machete; The Lords of Salem; Repo Man; From Dusk 'til Dawn; The Hills Have Eyes; Terminal USA; Road Warrior; Army of Darkness.

Arts: Coop; David Hartman; Ed Roth; Simon Bisley; Nat Jones; Dan Brereton.

Reads: Christa Faust's Hoodtown; Stephen King, “The Running Man”; Gregory Nicoll, “Beer Run”; Michael Moynihan and Didrik Soderlind, Lords of Chaos; Harlan Ellison, “Along the Scenic Route."

Ravenloft Remix: The Burning Peaks

art by J. Dillon

The Burning Peaks

– A realm build atop an endlessly-smoking volcanic land that contains two kingdoms at war.

Cavitus

Precis: Greyhawk through a Gothic lens.

Conspectus: A crescent-shaped domain that gives way to the Burning Peaks at the island's center; the deserts of Cavitus, known as the Ashen Wastes, are places of necromantic miasma; the only city in Cavitus is the somber Citadel Cavitus, ruled by a lich-lord named Vecna; Vecna's law is imposed by two golems known only as “the Eye” and “the Hand”; these two golems oversee the Fingers of Vecna, religious enforcers who oversee the Church of the Whispered One—a state religion that reveres Vecna himself.

Tovag

Precis: Greyawk through a Gothic lens II.

Conspectus: Past the Burning Peaks lies this land of light forests ruled by the vampire general Kas; Kas maintains a constant war-time mentality and would see the Citadel Cavitus razed to the ground and Vecna destroyed for all time; the principal city of Tovag is Tor Gorak, which is surrounded by an expanse of farmland; the Karsican Way, a road of well-constructed flagstones, runs between Tor Gorak and the Fortress of Kas; the state police, known as the Daggers of Kas, are run by Tejen the Grim—they continually search for spies and agents of Vecna amongst the populace; a small guerrilla force led by a priest of Vecna named Vocar the Obedient wages a secret war against Kas and his forces—Vocar worships Vecna in the aspect of the Chained God. 

Commentary: Basically, this realm was just an excuse to get Vecna into Ravenloft.  That's okay, Vecna is the only thing from Greyhawk worth keeping anyway.