The descriptions of
Larissa learning DANCE MAGIC linger over the curves of her
body, despite these scenes supposedly being about the empowerment of
women by women. Worse still is the flashback where Raoul recalls
first meeting Larissa: Raoul watches her dance, “performing solely
for her own pleasure”; she looks like “a feather caught by a
wanton breeze”; he thinks of her as “fey and wild.” You know
why this flashback is gross? Raoul is appraising her beauty and at
this point she is TWELVE. TWELVE YEARS OLD AND HE IS WATCHING HER
THINKING YEAH KIND OF A HOTTIE. Thanks for getting all pedo on us,
Golden.
Oh, Raoul is also thinking
what a good investment she is because he's just won Larissa in a card
game against her father, I shit you not.
While it started off with
surprising (albeit minor league) promise, Dance of the Dead quickly
spirals into the land of schlock as soon as Larissa's tutelage in the
art of DANCE MAGIC happens. The chapters in which the Maiden
instructs Larissa are bad enough, but things get even worse when
she's sent to the mansion of of Anton Misroi (Souragne's
zombie-master Dark Lord) where she learns the DANCE OF THE DEAD! Of
course, as the Maiden did earlier, Misroi makes Larissa put on a
clothes that give him a better view of her tits; “It was shockingly
low-cut,” the narration intimates. She must have some rack on
her—everybody in the novel wants a peek at it.
Gosh! As a parting gift,
Misroi gives her a riding crop; Larissa discovers that to initiate
the Dance of the Dead she has to flog herself with it. Kinky.
On the way back to the
Maiden's home, Larissa rides something called a LEZerd. I'm just
going to leave that tidbit here and let you mull it over on your own.
At this point in the novel
we're treated to some pretty squicky animal torture by its
antagonists. Larissa leads a really unspectacular siege against the
showboat to free all the animals within. Guess what? She does the
DANCE OF DEATH at the climax! That didn't seem like a plot point at
all when Misroi taught it to her, right? Unfortunately, Larissa
accidentally kills her new will o' the wisp-lite boyfriend with the
DANCE OF THE DEAD. Ooops.
In the end, the crew of
the magic showboat decides that Larissa should be their new captain
since Raoul & co. are now dead. Yeah, I can see how being good
at dancing makes one a suitable captain of a ship despite not having
a whit of sailing or navigation experience. But, as the saying goes,
the show must go on. Thankfully, the novel does not.


Lol. I had forgotten how horrible this book was. :D It's been a while....
ReplyDeleteThe worst part is that it started out okay...
DeleteI am getting the biggest kick out of these reviews.
ReplyDeleteI had read all the Ravenloft books back in the day and many I have (thankfully it seems) forgot.
I can't wait till you cover "Tapestry of Dark Souls". That thing is a train wreck.
Thanks for the shout-out on your blog!
DeleteThank you for doing this.
DeleteMy pleasure. Well, sort of. Also my pain.
DeleteSo like, this was supposed to be during the era where TSR had "grown up" in response to the Satanic Panic. Let's take the Demons and Devils out of the Monster Manual and half-orcs and assassins out of the Player's Handbook, but we'll put psychosexuality bordering on pedophilia in our novels. Wow.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you're doing these reviews. It sheds some light on things that I hadn't considered before, especially since I've started my own blog about that era. http://d20darkages.blogspot.com/
Yeah, it is sort of puzzling isn't it?
DeleteI cannot read "dance magic" without getting David Bowie stuck in my head.
ReplyDelete"You remind me of the babe."
"What babe?"
Delete