Tuesday, September 30, 2025

Graves and Guitarras

About a month ago I had someone on my discord who lives in the UK approach me to ask if I could run a Krevborna game for them since they knew they would have a September night free for it. Look, if someone is willing to stay up that late for one of your games, you gotta say yes, right? It's too flattering! The premise for this one-shot was simple: the characters were all grave robbers given a simple task that quickly became complicated.

This adventure was adapted from one of the scenarios in Keys From the Golden Vault, in case you're wary of spoilers.


Characters

Harriet Grimstone, a big, tough, mean bruiser

Percy Rood, a sneaky urchin with a dark secret

Cornelia Draven, a necromancer who likes to source her own materials


Events

The grave robbers gathered in the back of a pub called the Old Leather Boot to receive a mission from the Angel of Graves herself. Serafina explained that the first woman blackened skald, Attilika (real name: Olga von Glau) was buried in the cemetery of Tillsbury. She was interred with a magical, skull-shaped guitarra. Their mission: dig up Olga von Glau's grave, retrieve the guitarra, and bring it to the Angel of the Graves.

They found the grave under the cover of night. Unfortunately, it appeared to have already been disturbed. They dug up Olga's coffin anyway. Olga's remains were inside, but the guitarra was missing. Percy was startled by a movement at his peripheral vision; a white mist poured from the earth, coalescing into a corpse paint-wearing specter. Once they reassured the ghost of Olga von Glau that they weren't there to defile her bones, she told them that her guitarra had been stolen by an elven woman and a fat man. She could only point them in the general direction that the thieves ran; she couldn't stray beyond the boundary of the cemetery.

Proceeding in that direction, the grave robbers found a house on a hill surrounded by a ruined orchard. The house was once a grand manor, but had deteriorated. They spotted a sign on the road up the hill proclaiming that the building was now the Lark Conservatory. 

They noticed that there was a stained glass skylight atop the building, which goaded them to scale the building to try and enter via the roof. Looking through a clear section of the skylight revealed that the room below was a large music hall sporting a variety of instruments. 

Percy was small enough to wriggle down the chimney into the unlit hearth below. The rest of the group shimmied down to a connected balcony. After scouting the room, and not finding Olga von Glau's guitarra, they approached a door...and three small demons suddenly materialized out of the ether. They look like humanoid ratmen devoid of all hair; each one of them brandished a different, smoking-hot implement of torture. When each of the demons was killed, it dissolved into a bubbling puddle of goo. Harriet did a lot of the heavy lifting here.

As they explored further, they found a hallway with an elevator cage. Next to it was a suit of armor. They were very afraid of the suit of armor. They located the master bedroom, which had a large footlocker at the foot of the bed. When it was opened, a piercing scream filled the air. They shut it in short order.

By the spiral stairs leading down, they discovered that an oil painting was actually a secret panel leading into a hidden study. The paperwork on the desk filled in some of the blanks about the conservatory. Whoever Lark was--they were badly in debt. It didn't improve Lark's financial situation when the group stole a wooden coffer full of coin they found in a desk drawer.

On the floor below, they stepped out onto a mezzanine. They could hear the sound of voices below. They also heard the sound of the elevator ascending from the first floor. The grave robbers quickly scrambled into the first room they could get into to avoid being spotted. 

The room turned out to be a bedroom used by one of the music students at the conservatory. Strangely, there was a statuette of a demonic, full-breasted woman holding a cat o' nine tails on the dresser. The other rooms on this floor appeared to also be bedrooms for the conservatory's students, but none of them had anything as outlandish as the diabolic statuette.

They proceeded down the stairs to the first floor, working their way through a parlor decorated with antique crossbows and hunting trophies. They passed a particularly large stuffed wolf next to a locked door; Percy noticed that there was a key shoved back into the wolf's mouth.

Unfortunately, they were then attacked by the same (reformed!) demons from earlier. They killed them off again, but not before taking some wounds themselves. 

Closer to the front door, they surprised most of the household to barging into the dining hall while they were in the middle of after-dinner drinks. There was a handsome man with blonde curls (and features that were a little too perfect) and three teenaged music students. 

The man with the blonde curls stood up, swished his wine, and commanded the students to head into the kitchen for their own safety. He then revealed himself to be an incubus and attacked the grave robbers. In the middle of the fight, the elevator came back and Lark (and his rapier) joined the fray. The incubus was defeated and Lark was grievously wounded. Lark surrendered and agreed to hand over the stolen guitarra.

Lark led them back to the door by the stuffed wolf and used the key that had been stashed within the wolf's mouth to unlock the door. Inside was a room that was once a chapel, but it had been profaned as a satanic ritual space. Cornelia recognized that it was dedicated to Abzula, the Demon Queen of Lust. 

Once the guitarra was passed over, the grave robbers left the conservatory in great haste. They went back to the Old Leather Boot and turned the instrument over to Serafina, who was impressed with their work, and paid handsomely for their troubles.

Sunday, September 28, 2025

The Screaming Place

A recap of the last episode of Krevborna High.


Characters

Daytona, misunderstood, quiet loner with a secret heart of gold

Panthalassa, do-gooder who loves to meddle in others personal affairs, a bit of a nerd

Pendleton, self-medicating overachiever teetering between valedictorian and total burn-out

Garazi, unusually outgoing art student

Raoul, goth, rich kid, theatre kid


Events

The characters' transportation options had narrowed since the last session. Raoul had his keys taken away by his parents after his arrest. Alie won't be around to drive them places because she's looking after an injured Sera. Daytona busted the radiator in his truck during the car chase. 

Daytona went to take a look at how bad the damage to his truck was, but found that someone was already working under the hood. His mysterious benefactor turned out to be Kassidy Durango, the woman who owns the local hunting and fishing shop. She explained that she couldn't stand to see a vintage truck like his out of commission at the side of the road, so she went to Gary's U Pull It and got a replacement radiator. Daytona offered to work the cost off at her store, but she told him to just apply for a job--it would beat working at the gas station, at least.

After picking up Raoul and Pendleton, the boys went to Laura's bookshop to see if she knew anything about "the Screaming Place" that Sera had dreamed of on the operating table. Laura knew that the Screaming Place was a concept from local Waronak native folklore: it was a liminal space between the world and the afterlife. She also pointed them to an old book written by a parapsychologist; the book's thesis was that the Screaming Place was a Waronak name for similar concepts such as Limbo and the astral plane. They looked into ways of accessing the Screaming Place, such as ecstatic dancing, occult ritual, drug use, etc. 

In the book, they also saw a primitive device that connected a living woman and a skull as an experimental means to enter the Screaming Place. This explained both why Emily and Imogen Garner's skeleton was missing. It did not explain why Emily may have been abducted for that purpose.

Later that night, Garazi and Panthalassa went to the practice space to help Alie load up her guitar and amp. Since she had broken her hand, she wouldn't be able to participate in the Battle of the Bands at the Freedom Warehouse. Before they left, Alie had to use the lady's room. Following girl code, Garazi and Panthalassa went with her. While they were in the bathroom, the lights went out. And then they were attacked by the same knife-wielding masked figure who had slaughtered kids in the woods.

Garazi and Panthalassa got stabbed up trying to escape, until Garazi hit the killer with a fire extinguisher and got Panthalassa on her feet. Alie got her Firebird started and they peeled out. Since two of them were now badly wounded, they went to Doctor F's house. Doctor F patched them up and gave them some strictly off the books medication for the pain.

Speaking of off the books medication, when the group reconvened at Panthalassa's apartment, they burned incense, put on Emily's favorite music, and took Pendleton's hallucinogens in an attempt to reach the Screaming Place. Most of the teens had a bad trip, hallucinating a menacing version of Siouxsie Sioux. Garazi, on the other hand, hallucinated that she was the beloved queen of nature, sat upon a throne of living wood, and found Emily in the Screaming Place. Emily told her that she couldn't remain in the Screaming Place much longer, but Garazi did return from her trip with more clues for them to follow.

After the final day of classes, Pendleton was obligated to clean Doctor F's lab. She asked him if he had seen two "helmet-like devices" because they were now missing. Remembering the illustration in the parapsychologist's book, he verified that the missing items were part of a similar apparatus. (Doctor F admitted that she had done some work for the US government on accessing the Screaming Place for the purposes of remote viewing.) Pendleton was also told that he would be contacted by "scientists with unusual accents" after graduation and offered an opportunity to study science at the fringes without government oversight.

The group then patterned up again with the Graymalk sisters. (To get their aid, Daytona had to agree to go on a date with one of them.) The Graymalks were able to clear up some aspects of the mystery: someone was using a device to summon and control the murderous ghost of Judge Mason Powell. Imogen Garner's skull was being used to fuel the "death" part of the equation; Emily was likely being used as fuel for the "life" side. Why was Emily chosen for this? She was a distant cousin of the Graymalks, so she had the blood of witches running in her veins.

Panthalassa also went on a sailing date with Thomasina. It went well! Thomasina agreed to hang out again; they'd rent Bound and watch it together.

One of the things they learned about the place Emily was being held is that it had wood-paneled walls and bowling trophies, indicating a basement. Panthalassa looked into it and discovered that the trophies could be connected to Erasmus Feist's family. The group hatched a plan to pay him a visit: Raoul and Daytona would arrive at the front door on an "apology tour," while Pendleton and Garazi would find a way to sneak in and explore.

It didn't quite go as planned.

For one, the door was answered by Erasmus's older sister Severina, who led them into a very dimly lit living room and offered them bottles of Crystal Pepsi. Raoul excused himself to use the bathroom, opened the window and let Pendleton and Garazi in. Unfortunately, someone grabbed Garazi's foot and pulled her back outside!

Meanwhile, when they had an opportunity to flick the lights on, they discovered that Severina was keeping it dark so they wouldn't notice the bloodstains in the living room. The jig now up, she attacked them with a knife--the same knife she had been using in her attacks to throw the group off her brother's trail.

Outside, Garazi and Pendleton had to deal with Erasmus Feist. Bargaining with him availed them nothing; ultimately, Garazi had to bum rush him. Erasmus hit his head on a rock and was incapacitated.

Back in the house, Severina was cutting the teens to ribbons. (For reasons that will never be explained, Daytona did not make use of the taser he had.) On the way back to the living room, Raoul stopped to grab a knife from the kitchen--which he used to murder Severina.

They all ran downstairs to the wood-paneled basement and found Emily on a cot, her head cradled one of Doctor F's stolen helmets. The skull of Imogen Garner was connected to another. A third helmet was currently vacant. Pendleton wisely stopped Raoul from disconnecting Emily. (That would have killed her instantly.) Instead, Garazi put on the third helmet and found herself within the Screaming Place. One there, she was able to "lead" Emily out--and get her consciousness back into her body.

The group heard the sound of people prowling around upstairs. They braced themselves for the worst and ran up the stairs--but they discovered a coalition of Dr F, Laura, Vanessa Laurant, and Helena Graymalk. The women who dealt with the killings that happened back in the 80s! 

The adults took over. Dr. F treated their wounds while Helena destroyed Erasmus's machine. Vanessa and Laura emptied cans of gasoline in the house and set it ablaze to destroy all evidence. (Including Severina's corpse.) Erasmus was bound and loaded into a car; he would never be seen again.

The group was sworn to secrecy about what they had discovered. Really, they should just be happy to be alive, even if prom was canceled.

Tuesday, September 23, 2025

Car Crashes and Microfiche

Here's a recap of what happened in the second session of Krevborna High.


Characters

Daytona, misunderstood, quiet loner with a secret heart of gold

Panthalassa, do-gooder who loves to meddle in others personal affairs, a bit of a nerd

Pendleton, self-medicating overachiever teetering between valedictorian and total burn-out

Garazi, unusually outgoing art student

Raoul, goth, rich kid, theatre kid

...and Alie, their kinda dumb metalhead friend


Events

We left off in the previous session with a white Cadillac peeling out of the video store parking lot. Since that was the same white Caddy that seemed to be staking out Daytona's house, the group went into high gear trying to chase it down: Raoul and Alie pursued the Cadillac in their cars, while Daytona took a cross-street to cut the driver off. Unfortunately, his maneuver meant that the Caddy plowed into his truck, busting the radiator. Since he was already concussed from the brawl he got into earlier in the day, he was now in BAD shape.

The driver of the Cadillac got out and was, understandably angry. The driver was none other than Erasmus Feist, one of their high school nemeses; the kid had a reputation for being a repulsive little creep. Things escalated when Raoul tried to intimidate Erasmus and Daytona forcibly snatched his wallet. Protip for players: if you want information out of a guy, going aggro is sure to make someone clam up unless you have the heat to back it up. In this case, they didn't: Erasmus scuffled with them, and it took Pendleton entering the fray, and catching a stray fist, to break it up.

Since Garazi and Panthalassa didn't want to have to deal with the cops, Alie drove them out of there; they headed to the library.

The others...sped away from the scene of an accident AND a crime, which meant they got pulled over and arrested in short order.

Over at the library, the remaining characters hit the stacks and the microfiche to learn more about Imogen Garner, the accused witch, and the similar killings that had taken place in the 80s. They learned that Imogen was probably accused of witchcraft by Judge Mason Powell because she spurned his advances. They also discovered that the symbols on her gravestone translated to "REST UNTIL NEEDED." 

The witchy Graymalk sisters arrived at the library and demanded to see one of the books the group was using. The group struck a deal with them: they'd share information. From the Graymalks, they learned that it was the Graymalk family of yesteryear who erected Imogen's grave marker.

As they left, they spotted Alie talking to Thomasina, Panthalassa's crush. The thing about Alie is that she is an outrageous flirt who has a way with women--and it looked like Alie was poaching Panthalassa's girl. Not so! Alie did Panthalassa a solid and declined Thomasina's offer to go sailing. (She feigned seasickness.) She did, however, set up a sailing date for Panthalassa instead.

When Saturday morning rolled around, it found Daytona at work at the local Apple Gas station. A kid came in to buy condoms, but then abruptly had to borrow the key to the restroom. Thomasina came in, bought a pack of Big Red and got a job application. After she left, the kid in the bathroom still hadn't emerged. When Daytona went to check on him, he found what looked like a crime scene: broken mirror, lots of blood, but no body.

Since they already had a couple run-ins with the law, Daytona called his friends instead of the cops. When they got there they...cleaned the crime scene (!!!).

That night, Raoul was scheduled to deliver a couple kegs to the bonfire party in the woods. Since the party was being thrown by members of the baseball team, and since one of the murdered students was a baseball player, the party became an impromptu memorial. The somber atmosphere didn't stop two of the teens from sneaking off to make-out in the woods. Sera showed up to do a paper-bag "delivery" to one of the girls at the party, which had Panthalassa suspicious about what her roommate was involved in.

(Spoiler: Sera is dealing illicit copies of Titanic on VHS that "fell off a truck" so she has money to put toward Panthalassa going to college.)

Of course, the kids who wandered off never came back, so the teens grabbed some flashlights and went looking for them. They found them, all right: disemboweled and hanging from a tree!

To make matters worse, they heard screams coming from the party. They ran back and found teens being slaughtered by a knife-wielding masked figure. They ran for it. Sera and Alie got separated in the chaos, which the group only realized when they got back to their cars at the edge of the woods. Some characters were too scared to go back for them, but a few brave souls soldiered back into the woods to find their friends.

They met Sera and Alie halfway. Sera had been stabbed by the killer and was losing a lot of blood; Alie had broken her hand punching the masked killer in the face to save Sera. They were both bundled into the cars and driven to the hospital. Sera was stable after surgery, but she had something she needed to tell them: while under anesthetic, she had a vision of Emily, Raoul's missing girlfriend. Emily told her that she was in "the Screaming Place," a room of blue light with two exits, but wouldn't be able to remain there much longer.

They had new leads to follow, but now they knew that they were up against the clock if they wanted to save Emily.

Sunday, September 21, 2025

Three Hearts and Three Lions

Bad Books for Bad People, Episode 97: Three Hearts and Three Lions

Poul Anderson’s 1961 novel Three Hearts and Three Lions is one of the cornerstone influences on Dungeons and Dragons: a medieval-inflected romp through creature encounters and chivalric romance, featuring the world’s most terrifying version of troll. Jack and Kate, our paladins of pulp, armor up and prepare to do battle with a veritable monster manual of menace in this month’s book.

What makes old D&D art so damn compelling? How does Nazi-punching figure into this fantasy adventure? Why is this sword named after the virtual assistant inside my Microsoft device? All these questions–plus a lengthy digression on enormous tomes–and more will be explored on this episode of Bad Books for Bad People.

Sunday, September 14, 2025

Tserberon Falls and Vulture House

Two final locations of the Vespermark. Tserberon Falls has a bit of Ravenloft's Mists in it, mixed with Stephen King's "The Mists." Vulture House exists because I love putting a masquerade ball into my games--and this one has legs.


Tserberon Falls

Tserberon Falls was once a vibrant frontier town, home to a bustling trading post and livestock market. It is now enveloped by a roiling red fog teeming with monsters comprised of animate shadow.

    • Unbeknownst to the people of Tserberon Falls, one of their fellow townsfolk—a man named Johannes Metrovic—was an occultist conducting baleful experiments with blood magic.

    • One dark night, Metrovic’s experiments exceeded his grasp and he unwittingly unleashed a magical red mist that plunged the down into darkness.

    • The townsfolk, including Metrovic himself, were warped into ravenous creatures of shadow by the calamitous red fog.

    • The crimson mist now spreads in every direction from the “Red Wound of Tserberon Falls.”

    • The fog generally moves slowly, creeping across the Vespermark, but has been known to suddenly surge forth to engulf a settlement and consume its residents—transforming all living creatures caught within it into monstrosities. 

    • The Knights Labyrinthian track the progress of the mist, but they have yet to discover a way to counteract its growth. 


Vulture House

Vulture House is an ambulatory manor that walks the Vespermark on enormous bird legs. It settles in one place long enough to lure hapless travelers and “guests” into the perpetual fey masquerade ball that rages inside.

    • Vulture House appears to be a luxurious and otherworldly mansion with uncountable rooms, for Vulture House is the site of a luxurious and never-ending masquerade ball presided over by Queen Mab, the fey Lady of Shadows.

    • Mab is capricious and cruel, and anyone who breeches one of her ever-shifting rules of decorum or who refuses to wear a mask inside Vulture House will face her wrath.

    • Those who are obsequious enough, or who bring the Lady of Shadows a unique gift that catches her fancy, might be granted a wondrous boon—though this boon turns to ash as soon as they lose her favor.

Tuesday, September 9, 2025

Krevborna High

The pitch for this game was simple: an AU of characters from the past couple of Krevborna games, but versions of those characters as high schoolers in the 1990s. Instead of using Savage Worlds for this one, we're using Monster of the Week.


Characters

Daytona, misunderstood, quiet loner with a secret heart of gold

Panthalassa, do-gooder who loves to meddle in others personal affairs, a bit of a nerd

Pendleton, self-medicating overachiever teetering between valedictorian and total burn-out

Garazi, unusually outgoing art student

Raoul, goth, rich kid, theatre kid

...and Alie, their kinda dumb metalhead friend


Events

We started the session by playing through each kid's morning routine. Panthalassa woke to the sound of her roommate Sera watching loud horror movies. Daytona noticed someone in a white Cadillac watching his house; when he went to get a closer look, it sped off. Garazi got a ride with Alie and Panthalassa in Alie's 70s Firebird. Raoul saw a series of cryptic symbols in his IM conversation with his girlfriend Emily. Pendleton got picked up by Raoul in the Lambo.

When the kids converged at Krevborna High, they could immediately tell that something was wrong. There were cops standing in front of the main doors, not letting anyone in, and their fellow students were heading around back to the football field--and they could hear screams coming from that direction. They followed suit and saw that two students, a couple who were dating, were disemboweled and hanging from nooses tied around a goal post. No one seemed to know what was going on; Officer Draghul gave Daytona a suspicious look. Eventually, Principle Dolan came out with a megaphone and told everyone to go home because school was cancelled. 

Emily was, unfortunately, no where to be found.

Of course, no self-respecting teenager goes home when they suddenly find themselves with a free day to dispose of. The kids' first stop was Emily's house; Raoul broke in, but there was no sign of her or her parents inside.

Their next stop was the book store because they knew that Laura, the owner, always brought fresh-baked cookies in--plus, it would give them a chance to research the strange symbols Emily had sent to Raoul. They figured out that it was a cipher--a cipher that read "HELP ME." Laura also let them take a look at Emily's latest special order of books. Amid the Anne Rice and Poppy Z. Brite novels, there was a single book on the history of witchcraft in upstate New York. Flipping through the book, they spotted a picture of a grave in their own local Greenwood Cemetery. The name on the headstone was Imogen Garner; below her name were more of the symbols Emily used in her cipher.

Panthalassa ran out to give Thomasina, the girl she has a crush on, a cookie--but the interaction was AWKWARD.

Before they left the Commons for Greenwood, they decided to split up and check the parking ramp for the white Cadillac that Daytona saw earlier. Daytona didn't find the Cadillac, but he did find trouble: Wagner Highcross and his soccer goons gave him some shit about his mom, prompting a fight. Badly outnumbered, Daytona got his ass kicked--until Dr. F stepped in and tasered one of the soccer players. They threatened to report her, but she calmly reminded them that any authority figure was far more likely to believe her version of events than theirs. Once they left, she checked Daytona out, declared he had a minor concussion, and gave him the taser. She also gave him a bit of advice: "There are two kinds of people--those who ride and those who are ridden. You need to choose which you're going to be."

Initially, they had no luck locating Imogen Garner's grave in the cemetry. Then they were approached by a weird old man--groundskeeper Willard! He explained that Imogen was buried in the pauper's field. When asked about Emily, he said a girl fitting her description often came to the cemetery. He even handed over a bracelet of hers he had found on the grounds. When they searched for Imogen's grave in the pauper's field--they found it had been dug up and was now empty. Groundskeeper Willard didn't know much about her, but he knew someone who might--Sera, Panthalassa's roommate, who had done a civics project mapping the cemetery before she graduated.

They went to the Video King where Sera worked. Sera said that it was "crazy that it was happening again." They didn't know what she meant, so she explained that back in the early 80s there was a serial killer in the area who got nicknamed "the Lyncher" because he left a trail of dead high school couples in his wake. This made the kids want to head to the library to do a little microfiche research, but before they did they pressed Alie to talk to Sera about their mutual love of horror movies because Alie has an unrequited crush on Sera. Alie left with a pile of VHS tapes, courtesy of Sera's recommendations.

Outside, they spotted a white Cadillac pealing out of the strip mall. They decided it was time for a little hot pursuit. We'll see how that works out next time...

Sunday, September 7, 2025

THE MONSTER SQUAD

I was asked to post the characters from this PLANET MOTHERFUCKER one-shot I ran. See below. They're basically just re-flavored versions of characters straight out of the PMF books, with a little bonus "kicker" of Meat points to make for a slightly superheroic feel.

These characters were assigned based on having the players pick a flavor of Monster energy drink. (Limited to the Ultra and Juice ranges because those are the ones I know.) I'll post all the possible options after the characters who appeared in the session.


Kitten DeKlaw

Anime catgirl burglar

Muscle: -1 / Grit: -1 / Cunning: +2 / Moxie: +2

Meat: 13 / Mojo: 2

Bod: Catgirl, duh / Look: Speed Racer t-shirt and lycra booty shorts / Weapon: Pistol d6

Knack: You were Trained in the Ninja Arts of the Trailer Park. You get a +2 to rolls to sneak or hide. Your claws deal d6 damage, but you’re VERY afraid of breaking a nail. 

You’ve got Nine Lives. When you’re reduced to 0 Meat, roll a d6. On an odd roll, you aren’t killed. You revive in d4 rounds and regain d4 Meat.


Mako Gorejaws

Wereshark surfer

Muscle: +3 / Grit: +1 / Cunning: -1 / Moxie: -1

Meat: 16 / Mojo: 2

Bod: Tan surfer/fuckin’ sharkperson / Look: Board shorts and a tank top / 

Knack: You’ve got the Jaws of...Jaws. Your attacks with ‘em deal d8 damage. Whenever you bite a creature that has a discernible head, roll a d10. If you roll a 10, you bite its head off, killing it instantly.


Mutilatrix

Military-grade robot domme

Muscle: +1 / Grit: +0 / Cunning: +1 / Moxie: -1

Meat: 15 / Mojo: 2

Bod: Shiny and metal / Look: Black leather S&M gear / Weapon: Cat o’ nine tails d8

Knack: Your Bio-Mechanical Body gives you -d4 protection. You are Terrifyingly Inhuman. The first time your enemies have to check Nerve in a brawl, they take a -2 penalty to the roll. 


Beachgrinder

Death metal tiki-god mixologist

Muscle: +0 / Grit: -1 / Cunning: +1 / Moxie: +2

Meat: 10 / Mojo: 2

Bod: Ambulatory wooden tiki / Look: Ripped Cannibal Corpse t-shirt and a leather jacket / 

Weapon: Shotgun d8

Knacks: You know how to brew up a Mean Tiki Drink once per game. It heals d10 Meat. 

Once per adventure, you cause someone’s head to fill with the sound of death metal and tribal drums that drive them into a Frenzy! For the duration of a brawl, they gain +d8 Meat (even above their maximum!), +2 to all Muscle rolls, and they can attack twice on their turn if they fight up close and personal.


Thork Bloodbeard

Axe-wielding undead Viking

Muscle: +1 / Grit: +2 / Cunning: -1 / Moxie: +0

Meat: 17 / Mojo: 2

Bod: Big, hulking undead Viking—bones poking through n shit / Look: Horned helmet, furs, drinking horn / Protection: Viking furs (-d4 protection, Cunning rolls to Defend are +2 harder)

Knack: The Axe of Crom is a massive, two-handed barbarian’s axe. The axe deals d10+1 damage. When you kill a worthy foe with it, you gain +d4 Meat. Crom thirsts for blood!


THE EXTENDED MONSTER SQUAD UNIVERSE

These were the possible options:

Viking Berry: Thork Bloodbeard, undead viking

Mango Loco: Jolly Roger, skeleton pirate

Rio Punch: Trixie Toxic, Vegas showgirl witch

Pacific Punch: Mako Gorejaw, wereshark surfer

Pipeline Punch: Mama Hex, voodoo queen

Ultra Sunrise: Ankh Hotep, scarab-infested mummy

Ultra Peachy Keen: Kitten DeKlaw, catgirl burglar 

Ultra Ruby Red: Carmilla Cadavera, vampire seductress

Ultra Vice Guava: Mutilatrix, robot dominatrix

Ultra Violet: Maglar, Martian warlord

Ultra Blue Hawaiian: Beachgrinder, death metal tiki god

Ultra White: Jimmy Hellson, demon-possessed child