Car Crashes and Microfiche

Here's a recap of what happened in the second session of Krevborna High.

Characters

Daytona, misunderstood, quiet loner with a secret heart of gold

Panthalassa, do-gooder who loves to meddle in others personal affairs, a bit of a nerd

Pendleton, self-medicating overachiever teetering between valedictorian and total burn-out

Garazi, unusually outgoing art student

Raoul, goth, rich kid, theatre kid

...and Alie, their kinda dumb metalhead friend

Events

We left off in the previous session with a white Cadillac peeling out of the video store parking lot. Since that was the same white Caddy that seemed to be staking out Daytona's house, the group went into high gear trying to chase it down: Raoul and Alie pursued the Cadillac in their cars, while Daytona took a cross-street to cut the driver off. Unfortunately, his maneuver meant that the Caddy plowed into his truck, busting the radiator. Since he was already concussed from the brawl he got into earlier in the day, he was now in BAD shape.

The driver of the Cadillac got out and was, understandably angry. The driver was none other than Erasmus Feist, one of their high school nemeses; the kid had a reputation for being a repulsive little creep. Things escalated when Raoul tried to intimidate Erasmus and Daytona forcibly snatched his wallet. Protip for players: if you want information out of a guy, going aggro is sure to make someone clam up unless you have the heat to back it up. In this case, they didn't: Erasmus scuffled with them, and it took Pendleton entering the fray, and catching a stray fist, to break it up.

Since Garazi and Panthalassa didn't want to have to deal with the cops, Alie drove them out of there; they headed to the library.

The others...sped away from the scene of an accident AND a crime, which meant they got pulled over and arrested in short order.

Over at the library, the remaining characters hit the stacks and the microfiche to learn more about Imogen Garner, the accused witch, and the similar killings that had taken place in the 80s. They learned that Imogen was probably accused of witchcraft by Judge Mason Powell because she spurned his advances. They also discovered that the symbols on her gravestone translated to "REST UNTIL NEEDED." 

The witchy Graymalk sisters arrived at the library and demanded to see one of the books the group was using. The group struck a deal with them: they'd share information. From the Graymalks, they learned that it was the Graymalk family of yesteryear who erected Imogen's grave marker.

As they left, they spotted Alie talking to Thomasina, Panthalassa's crush. The thing about Alie is that she is an outrageous flirt who has a way with women--and it looked like Alie was poaching Panthalassa's girl. Not so! Alie did Panthalassa a solid and declined Thomasina's offer to go sailing. (She feigned seasickness.) She did, however, set up a sailing date for Panthalassa instead.

When Saturday morning rolled around, it found Daytona at work at the local Apple Gas station. A kid came in to buy condoms, but then abruptly had to borrow the key to the restroom. Thomasina came in, bought a pack of Big Red and got a job application. After she left, the kid in the bathroom still hadn't emerged. When Daytona went to check on him, he found what looked like a crime scene: broken mirror, lots of blood, but no body.

Since they already had a couple run-ins with the law, Daytona called his friends instead of the cops. When they got there they...cleaned the crime scene (!!!).

That night, Raoul was scheduled to deliver a couple kegs to the bonfire party in the woods. Since the party was being thrown by members of the baseball team, and since one of the murdered students was a baseball player, the party became an impromptu memorial. The somber atmosphere didn't stop two of the teens from sneaking off to make-out in the woods. Sera showed up to do a paper-bag "delivery" to one of the girls at the party, which had Panthalassa suspicious about what her roommate was involved in.

(Spoiler: Sera is dealing illicit copies of Titanic on VHS that "fell off a truck" so she has money to put toward Panthalassa going to college.)

Of course, the kids who wandered off never came back, so the teens grabbed some flashlights and went looking for them. They found them, all right: disemboweled and hanging from a tree!

To make matters worse, they heard screams coming from the party. They ran back and found teens being slaughtered by a knife-wielding masked figure. They ran for it. Sera and Alie got separated in the chaos, which the group only realized when they got back to their cars at the edge of the woods. Some characters were too scared to go back for them, but a few brave souls soldiered back into the woods to find their friends.

They met Sera and Alie halfway. Sera had been stabbed by the killer and was losing a lot of blood; Alie had broken her hand punching the masked killer in the face to save Sera. They were both bundled into the cars and driven to the hospital. Sera was stable after surgery, but she had something she needed to tell them: while under anesthetic, she had a vision of Emily, Raoul's missing girlfriend. Emily told her that she was in "the Screaming Place," a room of blue light with two exits, but wouldn't be able to remain there much longer.

They had new leads to follow, but now they knew that they were up against the clock if they wanted to save Emily.

Three Hearts and Three Lions

Bad Books for Bad People, Episode 97: Three Hearts and Three Lions

Poul Anderson’s 1961 novel Three Hearts and Three Lions is one of the cornerstone influences on Dungeons and Dragons: a medieval-inflected romp through creature encounters and chivalric romance, featuring the world’s most terrifying version of troll. Jack and Kate, our paladins of pulp, armor up and prepare to do battle with a veritable monster manual of menace in this month’s book.

What makes old D&D art so damn compelling? How does Nazi-punching figure into this fantasy adventure? Why is this sword named after the virtual assistant inside my Microsoft device? All these questions–plus a lengthy digression on enormous tomes–and more will be explored on this episode of Bad Books for Bad People.

Tserberon Falls and Vulture House

Two final locations of the Vespermark. Tserberon Falls has a bit of Ravenloft's Mists in it, mixed with Stephen King's "The Mists." Vulture House exists because I love putting a masquerade ball into my games--and this one has legs.

Tserberon Falls

Tserberon Falls was once a vibrant frontier town, home to a bustling trading post and livestock market. It is now enveloped by a roiling red fog teeming with monsters comprised of animate shadow.

    • Unbeknownst to the people of Tserberon Falls, one of their fellow townsfolk—a man named Johannes Metrovic—was an occultist conducting baleful experiments with blood magic.

    • One dark night, Metrovic’s experiments exceeded his grasp and he unwittingly unleashed a magical red mist that plunged the down into darkness.

    • The townsfolk, including Metrovic himself, were warped into ravenous creatures of shadow by the calamitous red fog.

    • The crimson mist now spreads in every direction from the “Red Wound of Tserberon Falls.”

    • The fog generally moves slowly, creeping across the Vespermark, but has been known to suddenly surge forth to engulf a settlement and consume its residents—transforming all living creatures caught within it into monstrosities. 

    • The Knights Labyrinthian track the progress of the mist, but they have yet to discover a way to counteract its growth. 

Vulture House

Vulture House is an ambulatory manor that walks the Vespermark on enormous bird legs. It settles in one place long enough to lure hapless travelers and “guests” into the perpetual fey masquerade ball that rages inside.

    • Vulture House appears to be a luxurious and otherworldly mansion with uncountable rooms, for Vulture House is the site of a luxurious and never-ending masquerade ball presided over by Queen Mab, the fey Lady of Shadows.

    • Mab is capricious and cruel, and anyone who breeches one of her ever-shifting rules of decorum or who refuses to wear a mask inside Vulture House will face her wrath.

    • Those who are obsequious enough, or who bring the Lady of Shadows a unique gift that catches her fancy, might be granted a wondrous boon—though this boon turns to ash as soon as they lose her favor.

Krevborna High

The pitch for this game was simple: an AU of characters from the past couple of Krevborna games, but versions of those characters as high schoolers in the 1990s. Instead of using Savage Worlds for this one, we're using Monster of the Week.

Characters

Daytona, misunderstood, quiet loner with a secret heart of gold

Panthalassa, do-gooder who loves to meddle in others personal affairs, a bit of a nerd

Pendleton, self-medicating overachiever teetering between valedictorian and total burn-out

Garazi, unusually outgoing art student

Raoul, goth, rich kid, theatre kid

...and Alie, their kinda dumb metalhead friend

Events

We started the session by playing through each kid's morning routine. Panthalassa woke to the sound of her roommate Sera watching loud horror movies. Daytona noticed someone in a white Cadillac watching his house; when he went to get a closer look, it sped off. Garazi got a ride with Alie and Panthalassa in Alie's 70s Firebird. Raoul saw a series of cryptic symbols in his IM conversation with his girlfriend Emily. Pendleton got picked up by Raoul in the Lambo.

When the kids converged at Krevborna High, they could immediately tell that something was wrong. There were cops standing in front of the main doors, not letting anyone in, and their fellow students were heading around back to the football field--and they could hear screams coming from that direction. They followed suit and saw that two students, a couple who were dating, were disemboweled and hanging from nooses tied around a goal post. No one seemed to know what was going on; Officer Draghul gave Daytona a suspicious look. Eventually, Principle Dolan came out with a megaphone and told everyone to go home because school was cancelled. 

Emily was, unfortunately, no where to be found.

Of course, no self-respecting teenager goes home when they suddenly find themselves with a free day to dispose of. The kids' first stop was Emily's house; Raoul broke in, but there was no sign of her or her parents inside.

Their next stop was the book store because they knew that Laura, the owner, always brought fresh-baked cookies in--plus, it would give them a chance to research the strange symbols Emily had sent to Raoul. They figured out that it was a cipher--a cipher that read "HELP ME." Laura also let them take a look at Emily's latest special order of books. Amid the Anne Rice and Poppy Z. Brite novels, there was a single book on the history of witchcraft in upstate New York. Flipping through the book, they spotted a picture of a grave in their own local Greenwood Cemetery. The name on the headstone was Imogen Garner; below her name were more of the symbols Emily used in her cipher.

Panthalassa ran out to give Thomasina, the girl she has a crush on, a cookie--but the interaction was AWKWARD.

Before they left the Commons for Greenwood, they decided to split up and check the parking ramp for the white Cadillac that Daytona saw earlier. Daytona didn't find the Cadillac, but he did find trouble: Wagner Highcross and his soccer goons gave him some shit about his mom, prompting a fight. Badly outnumbered, Daytona got his ass kicked--until Dr. F stepped in and tasered one of the soccer players. They threatened to report her, but she calmly reminded them that any authority figure was far more likely to believe her version of events than theirs. Once they left, she checked Daytona out, declared he had a minor concussion, and gave him the taser. She also gave him a bit of advice: "There are two kinds of people--those who ride and those who are ridden. You need to choose which you're going to be."

Initially, they had no luck locating Imogen Garner's grave in the cemetry. Then they were approached by a weird old man--groundskeeper Willard! He explained that Imogen was buried in the pauper's field. When asked about Emily, he said a girl fitting her description often came to the cemetery. He even handed over a bracelet of hers he had found on the grounds. When they searched for Imogen's grave in the pauper's field--they found it had been dug up and was now empty. Groundskeeper Willard didn't know much about her, but he knew someone who might--Sera, Panthalassa's roommate, who had done a civics project mapping the cemetery before she graduated.

They went to the Video King where Sera worked. Sera said that it was "crazy that it was happening again." They didn't know what she meant, so she explained that back in the early 80s there was a serial killer in the area who got nicknamed "the Lyncher" because he left a trail of dead high school couples in his wake. This made the kids want to head to the library to do a little microfiche research, but before they did they pressed Alie to talk to Sera about their mutual love of horror movies because Alie has an unrequited crush on Sera. Alie left with a pile of VHS tapes, courtesy of Sera's recommendations.

Outside, they spotted a white Cadillac pealing out of the strip mall. They decided it was time for a little hot pursuit. We'll see how that works out next time...

THE MONSTER SQUAD

I was asked to post the characters from this PLANET MOTHERFUCKER one-shot I ran. See below. They're basically just re-flavored versions of characters straight out of the PMF books, with a little bonus "kicker" of Meat points to make for a slightly superheroic feel.

These characters were assigned based on having the players pick a flavor of Monster energy drink. (Limited to the Ultra and Juice ranges because those are the ones I know.) I'll post all the possible options after the characters who appeared in the session.

Kitten DeKlaw

Anime catgirl burglar

Muscle: -1 / Grit: -1 / Cunning: +2 / Moxie: +2

Meat: 13 / Mojo: 2

Bod: Catgirl, duh / Look: Speed Racer t-shirt and lycra booty shorts / Weapon: Pistol d6

Knack: You were Trained in the Ninja Arts of the Trailer Park. You get a +2 to rolls to sneak or hide. Your claws deal d6 damage, but you’re VERY afraid of breaking a nail. 

You’ve got Nine Lives. When you’re reduced to 0 Meat, roll a d6. On an odd roll, you aren’t killed. You revive in d4 rounds and regain d4 Meat.

Mako Gorejaws

Wereshark surfer

Muscle: +3 / Grit: +1 / Cunning: -1 / Moxie: -1

Meat: 16 / Mojo: 2

Bod: Tan surfer/fuckin’ sharkperson / Look: Board shorts and a tank top / 

Knack: You’ve got the Jaws of...Jaws. Your attacks with ‘em deal d8 damage. Whenever you bite a creature that has a discernible head, roll a d10. If you roll a 10, you bite its head off, killing it instantly.

Mutilatrix

Military-grade robot domme

Muscle: +1 / Grit: +0 / Cunning: +1 / Moxie: -1

Meat: 15 / Mojo: 2

Bod: Shiny and metal / Look: Black leather S&M gear / Weapon: Cat o’ nine tails d8

Knack: Your Bio-Mechanical Body gives you -d4 protection. You are Terrifyingly Inhuman. The first time your enemies have to check Nerve in a brawl, they take a -2 penalty to the roll. 

Beachgrinder

Death metal tiki-god mixologist

Muscle: +0 / Grit: -1 / Cunning: +1 / Moxie: +2

Meat: 10 / Mojo: 2

Bod: Ambulatory wooden tiki / Look: Ripped Cannibal Corpse t-shirt and a leather jacket / 

Weapon: Shotgun d8

Knacks: You know how to brew up a Mean Tiki Drink once per game. It heals d10 Meat. 

Once per adventure, you cause someone’s head to fill with the sound of death metal and tribal drums that drive them into a Frenzy! For the duration of a brawl, they gain +d8 Meat (even above their maximum!), +2 to all Muscle rolls, and they can attack twice on their turn if they fight up close and personal.

Thork Bloodbeard

Axe-wielding undead Viking

Muscle: +1 / Grit: +2 / Cunning: -1 / Moxie: +0

Meat: 17 / Mojo: 2

Bod: Big, hulking undead Viking—bones poking through n shit / Look: Horned helmet, furs, drinking horn / Protection: Viking furs (-d4 protection, Cunning rolls to Defend are +2 harder)

Knack: The Axe of Crom is a massive, two-handed barbarian’s axe. The axe deals d10+1 damage. When you kill a worthy foe with it, you gain +d4 Meat. Crom thirsts for blood!

THE EXTENDED MONSTER SQUAD UNIVERSE

These were the possible options:

Viking Berry: Thork Bloodbeard, undead viking

Mango Loco: Jolly Roger, skeleton pirate

Rio Punch: Trixie Toxic, Vegas showgirl witch

Pacific Punch: Mako Gorejaw, wereshark surfer

Pipeline Punch: Mama Hex, voodoo queen

Ultra Sunrise: Ankh Hotep, scarab-infested mummy

Ultra Peachy Keen: Kitten DeKlaw, catgirl burglar 

Ultra Ruby Red: Carmilla Cadavera, vampire seductress

Ultra Vice Guava: Mutilatrix, robot dominatrix

Ultra Violet: Maglar, Martian warlord

Ultra Blue Hawaiian: Beachgrinder, death metal tiki god

Ultra White: Jimmy Hellson, demon-possessed child

They Defeated Racism+

A couple weeks back I ran a PLANET MOTHERFUCKER one-shot as a "palate cleanser," which is ironic because the game tastes like a hangover. The characters were all members of the MONSTER SQUAD, a group of antiheroes in the Suicide Squad/Creature Commandos vein. Characters were assigned to the players based on which flavor of MONSTER energy drink they picked.

Characters

Beachgrinder, a wooden death metal tiki god in a torn Cannibal Corpse t-shirt

Kitten DeKlaw, an anime catgirl burglar in lycra booty shorts

Mako Gorejaw, a wereshark surfer who loves gnarly waves, dude

Thork Bloodbeard, an undead viking wielding the Axe of Crom

Mutilatrix, a military-grade robot domme with a whip

Events

The MONSTER SQUAD was on a train, sittin' tight in their magnetic handcuffs, on their way back to HQ from their last mission. Then the explosions started. The train rocked back and forth on the tracks as incendiaries burst around them, then the train derailed and turned side over side down a cliff.

When the dust settled, Kitten DeKlaw found herself free of her magnetic cuffs. She quickly got the others free, then they went in search of the lockbox where all their gear was stowed. What they found was TWO lockboxes: one that Thork smashed open held their weapons, but the other had been busted open with crowbars. While they were looking for clues as to what the fuck had happened, they heard the squawk of a walkie-talkie: it was Captain Johnny Goodkind, their handler. 

Captain Goodkind told them that the other lockbox contained reels of a print of Birth of a Nation that had been psychically altered by Nazimancers and imprinted with the power to turn whoever watched it into a racist. Their new mission was to retrieve that film at all costs before it could be publicly broadcast.

Luckily, Mako picked up the blood-scent of someone who had cut their hand getting the lockbox open. They followed the smell down to a "town" that was really little more than a street with a few businesses (a grocery store called White Circle, a bar called Chode's Place, a movie theater called Family Pictures, a gas station called GAS STATION, and Lucky Chan's--a combination laundromat and Chinese restaurant), and a bunch of stacked cargo containers being used as homes. 

Figuring that the evil film got taken to the movie theater, a couple members of the MONSTER SQUAD snuck in while the others kept the owner busy. They didn't find a rogue copy of Birth of a Nation, but they did find reels of Bambi and Deep Throat. They wrecked the theater's projector, then felt bad about it.

Their next stop was Lucky Chan's because they wanted some crab rangoon. Since they didn't have any money, they had to work for their treats: specifically, Kitten had to pretend to be one of those good luck cats with the moving paw in return for a plate of crab rangoon. They questioned the dude working there about who might have blown up the train--and he pointed outside as two racist-ass superpowered jerks, Redline and Sundowner, flew down from the sky.

FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! They killed the two "superheroes," then went back to the theater, where the owner was weeping and holding his broken projector like a baby. Mako fixed it for the poor guy, and in return he told them that more super goons brought a reel in to test it--then high-tailed it out of town. He was able to point them in the right direction, then he hot-wired a car for 'em so they could head off in pursuit.

A ways out of town, they found a big gathering--and it turned out to be a meeting of the DNC. As they drove to the parking lot, they got the lay of the land--concessions, a stage with speakers, food trucks, a flea market, and a big ol' drive-in movie theater screen. The evildoers' plan was now clear: they were gonna make the DNCers watch a magic movie that would turn everyone racist! Fuckin' shit!

They immediately checked out the projection tower, but there was no way to enter it from the outside--the only entrance was from inside the concession stand. One of the workers at the concession stand was a teenage girl in a Naruto t-shirt; the group rapped with her about anime, which got her on side. She told them to meet her by the porta-potties in an hour and she'd help them get in.

With an hour to kill, the MONSTER SQUAD checked out the flea market. Beachgrinder got a serial killer's cocktail recipe, Kitten got jerky and porn mags, Thork got a flannel shirt, Mako got a tattoo, and Mutilatrix took a tour of items removed from rectums. The weirdest one? The skull of Jimmy Hoffa. Raises more questions than it answers, right?

When they met up with Naruto Girl again at the porta-potties, she gave them ninja climbing claws she had ordered from the back of a karate magazine. They went back to the projection tower and started to climb--and then they were attacked by a giant black bird. That's right, they had been ambushed by Jim Crow! Kitten launched herself at Jim Crow, riding him around as he flew crazily.

Jim Crow wasn't their only problem. A guy in a KKK hood calling himself the Grand Wizard came down from the sky and summoned lightning to strike at our heroes. If that wasn't bad enough, a minivan rolled up and a Karen with a machine gun, calling herself The Segregator, jumped out. 

Kitten managed to force Jim Crow to crash land. She then smashed a claw into his beak, holding him in place while she put the barrel of her pistol to the side of his head, execution style. BLAMMO! Dead bird.

Meanwhile, a chanting crowd formed around Mutilatrix and The Segregator as they squared off, cat o' nine tails vs. machine gun. Then Mako came up behind The Segregator and bit her head off. Insert sad trombone sound here.

Thork leaped from the projection tower to take down the Grand Wizard--and missed. Totally ate shit. Thunder and lightning goddamn it's so exciting! Wounds all around, but Thork managed to cleave the racist wizard in two.

Beachgrinder made it up into the projectionist's booth and lit Birth of a Nation's silver nitrate reels on fire. They reported back to Johnny Goodkind that they had accomplished their mission. He told them to sit tight while another transport was dispatched from HQ, but they were like, nah, we're striking out on our own, see ya.

They piled back into their van and headed off, like the most fucked up version of the A-Team to ever exist.

The Danse Macabre and the Hounds of Velun

Below are two factions in Krevborna. The first was inspired by one of my player's riffs from his own game in the setting. The second has been around in the setting for a very long time, but this is the first real write up they've gotten.

The Danse Macabre

Ostensibly a traveling dance troupe specializing in horror-themed performances, the Danse Macabre is actually a secret society of voodoo priests and priestesses who use the opportunities afforded by their recitals to exert magical influence over their audiences.

    • Each of the Danse Macabre’s recitals is potentially a ritual enacted through dance.

    • Possible goals of a recital include causing madness within a crowd, dominating an audience member’s will, or harvesting an attendee’s soul as arcane fuel.

    • Members of the Danse Macabre relentlessly train their bodies for strength and agilitye; they make for surprisingly dangerous combatants. 

The Hounds of Velun

The Hounds of Velun are a secret society of monarchists devoted to restoring a lost heir to Krevborna’s vacant throne.

    • Most members of the Hounds of Velun are drawn from aristocratic families who lament the loss of power and influence they wielded before the Uprising.

    • The Hounds of Velun believe the royal line was not wholly extinguished; they search for an heir possessing a direct blood tie to the last tsar.

    • The Church considers the Hounds of Velun to be enemies of the faith; since the Church wishes to rule Krevborna as a theocracy, a new tsar would threaten its plans.