The Tainted

This post covers the last batch of "ancestries" typically available in my Krevborna games: the tainted. The tainted are deviant branches of mankind’s family tree. They are strange peoples who owe their existences to ancestral curses, the introduction of monstrous bloodlines, or the warping effects of sin.

Bagheeta

The accursed bagheeta trace their origins to the lands of Old Mudraal. The magical calamity that destroyed the mighty necromantic empire of Old Mudraal also created the first bagheeta by fusing human bodies with the feline spirits of great cats. 

After the cataclysm reduced Old Mudraal to a wasteland, the bagheeta left to settle elsewhere. Some now call Krevborna their home, though they take pains to conceal the truth of their tainted ancestry and try to blend into the local populace. Bagheeta usually look fully human, but a bagheeta’s facial features become feline and they gain sharp claws and fangs when they are angered.

Cambions

In the ancestry of all cambions is a progenitor who fornicated with a devil. The fruits of this blasphemous union are a family inheritance of diabolic traits including horns, a tail, and cloven hooves. Not all members of a demonically tainted bloodline are born as cambions; the corruption appears seemingly at random within a family.

In areas of Krevborna dominated by the Church, cambions are shunned at best and hunted at worst. Cambions are drawn toward vices and sin; some cambions valiantly resist this temptation, choosing instead to live as paragons of virtue and restraint.

Dhampir

Dhampir are people with a mixed vampire and human heritage. As such, they are most commonly found in vampire-haunted Sibersk, though they may be found throughout Krevborna. Some houses of vampiric nobles treat dhampir as equal members of the family, while others regard them as inferior, weak-blooded aberrations. 

Though pale and possessing an undeniably morbid aura, dhampir are not immediately obvious as people of inhuman ancestry. All dhampir thirst for blood, though some resist the urge to imbibe mortal essence. Ironically, some of the most proficient vampire hunters in Krevborna are dhampir.

Drakoi

No one is “born” a drakoi. Rather, being a drakoi is a condition, something akin to a dreadful disease—albeit a malady of a spiritual nature. Drakoi are sinners so consumed by their misdeeds that their bodies evidence the foulness of their souls. Since dragons are emblems of sin, it follows suit that the drakoi are human beings who have become dragon-like. Their bodies grow squamous, their teeth elongate into fangs, and their fingers curl into claws; some grow tails or horns.

Despite their sinful natures, the drakoi serve a dual purpose to the Church of Holy Blood: they are cautionary tales that allow the Church to enforce its strictures and are sought-after converts. After all, what could be a better mark of the Church’s power than bringing about the atonement of someone so enmeshed in perfidy that their body has transformed into something biblically monstrous?

Greshnik

Greshnik are the descendants of humans transformed by the eldritch power of Zhylassa, an abomination from the Outer Dark who currently sleeps within the depths of the Khorva Sea. Most greshnik possess normal human appearances when they are born, but during puberty they begin to take on a fish-like forms. Eventually, a greshnik becomes hairless, loses their lips, ears, and noses, and gains bulging eyes, rubbery skin, and gills. 

Greshnik are most commonly found in coastal areas, particularly within the city of Piskaro; they cannot bear to be far from the sea for very long. Greshnik are always plagued with nightmares—they dream of the sea's secrets, of dedicating themselves to Zhylassa’s foul service, and finding the mad sunken city of Fathom’s Reach.

Lycans

Lycans, also known as “wolfbloods,” are humans whose bloodlines have inherited the curse of lycanthropy in a minor, but persistent and incurable, form. Lycans generally pass as normal members of mankind, though their bodies possess obvious bestial traits, such as sharp teeth, yellow eyes, or a profusion of thick hair. When angered or provoked, a lycan’s form becomes more wolfen, sprouting shaggy pelts, claws, and ravening fangs.

Lycans often heed the call of the wild and find themselves drawn to places of fierce natural beauty. Forging a life in the savage wilds is frequently a lycan’s best bet for continued survival. 

Nefari

Long ago, a flight of angels tasked by the Word and the Light with keeping watch over mankind were tempted by great lusts and seduced their charges instead of safeguarding them from sin. The nefari are the progeny born from these sacrilegious trysts. Even though the initial nefari have interbred with mankind over generations, the taint of the fallen angels remains within their bloodlines; children born to angelic-infected lineages are invariably nefari.

Each nefari possesses the divine power of the Word and the Light’s angelic servants. They are universally comely, perfectly formed and terribly beautiful to behold. A nefari can draw upon their heritage to manifest angelic wings and halos of divine light that prove their otherworldly nature.

Savage Worlds Stats

Below are some notes on using these ancestries in Savage Worlds.

Bagheeta: the stats for the rakshasans in the Fantasy Companion are almost there, but swap Ancestral Enemy for Amorous. 

Cambions: the infernals in the Fantasy Companion are already a great fit.

Dhampir: the graveborn in the Fantasy Companion is a good fit, though I wonder if the Sunlight Sensitivity shouldn't be replaced with something else. Not that dhampir in Krevborna aren't actually undead.

Drakoi: the dragonfolk in the Fantasy Companion work well for this, especially given the variant possibilities.

Greshnik: To make a greshnik character, use these abilities and penalties:

• Aquatic: Aquarians cannot drown in water and move at their full Pace when swimming.

• Low Light Vision: Aquarians are used to the darkness of the depths. They ignore penalties for Dim and Dark illumination.

• Night Terrors: Because of the horrific dreams that assail the greshnik, they subtract 1 from all Spirit rolls.

• Outsider: Greshnik subtract 2 from Persuasion rolls made to influence those who aren’t her own kind. 

• Toughness: Life in the depths of their watery world has made aquarian flesh dense and resilient. Add +1 to their Toughness.

Lycans: to make a lycan, use this assortment of ancestral abilities and penalties:

• Accursed Ancestry: Lycans suffer a -1 penalty to all Spirit rolls.

• Bestial Rage: The beast is always ready to spring forth and cause carnage. All lycans possess the Berserk Edge.

• Bite: In their bestial forms, lycan fangs cause Str+d4 damage and may be used on grappled foes.

• Bloodthirsty: Lycans never takes prisoners unless under the direct order of the person they consider the leader of their "pack." 

• Claws: In their bestial forms, lycans have claws that cause Str+d6 damage and are AP 2. 

• Easily Angered: Lycans subtract 2 when resisting Taunt attacks.

• Heightened Sense of Smell: A keen sense of smell gives lycans +2 to Survival rolls made to track if the target has a scent and the trail is no more than a day old.

• Hunted: Lycans must always be wary of monster hunters who might mistake them for full-blooded werewolves. 

• Low Light Vision: Lycans ignore penalties for Dim or Dark illumination (but not Pitch Darkness).

• Monstrous Weakness: Attacks made with silvered weapons deal +4 damage against Lycans.

Nefari: The celestials in the Fantasy Companion are well-suited for the nefari.

The Last Stand of Grigori Trask

We finally wrapped up the Krevborna campaign that started in July of 2024. There were many times when I thought this one might just be scrapped; now that it's done, it's a weight off my shoulders. I had some fun, but not nearly enough to consider continuing this one further.

Characters

Panthalassa, primordial necromancer

Heck, revenant

Garazi, witch

Daytona, dhampir gunslinger

Khamaat, mummy mage

Events

The characters went into this one with a plan that they would ultimately abandon. They had their ally Nightsong, a diabolic bard, spread a tale of a mummy (Khamaat) who had raided the Church of Saint Brathis in hopes of luring the witchfinder Grigori Trask into an ambush. The plan had an obvious flaw: Trask had a score to settle with the rest of the group, and had no idea who Khamaat was--so it was unclear why he would be moved to take action here. I went with it, but I also gave Trask the kind of companions I imagined he would bring with him if he were after a mummy: he brought a pyromancer.

When the characters arrived at Vargas Bryn, the village where the Church of Saint Brathis was located, it was winter. They entered the church and saw a young mother, her child, and a shifty looking man praying in the pews. They let the bystanders go, but the church's priestess, Mother Signy, refused to leave. Threats of violence could not sway her; she had fought in Ontioch crusades and had taken a vow of pacifism--they could kill her and she would not fight back. 

In the church's crypts, they found the jawbone of Saint Brathis in a reliquary. Khamaat was nearly destroyed when she attempted to take it; as it turns out, the undead shouldn't handle holy relics. Daytona found another artifact within the church--a spearhead once wielded by Saint Othric. It would latter come in handy.

The group set up their ambush, but they hadn't put much thought into how they would defend the church from attack. Their unpreparedness became obvious when Garazi's familiar reported three riders entering the village and heading for the church. One of them dismounted, and entered the church; the others stayed atop their horses outside. Panthalassa tried to summon a giant spider to attack the interloper, but he sprinted to where she was hiding behind the altar and thwacked her with the flat of his sword, dazing her.

The others came piling out of their hidey-holes, but they were too far away to rescue Panthalassa. The interloper was none other than Wayland Morgaunt, the most famous monster hunter in Krevborna. He had been drawn to the church after hearing Nightsong's ballad second-hand. Wayland considered killing the "monsters" in the church anyway, but between their assurances that they wouldn't harm any innocents and the revelation of Panthalassa's ties to Nightsong and Serafina, he decided to just ride off and let this one go. Before leaving, he did give the characters valuable intel: he clued them into the fact that Trask was bringing a pyromancer and that the witch hunters had a captive: Thomasina Laurant, Panthalassa's pirate girlfriend.

The group decided that their plan to stage an ambush in the church was now untenable, so they mobilized to meet Trask's march on the road into town. And meet them they did. Trask's band consisted of Martin (a Church pyromancer, formerly a romantic interest of Garazi's), a gargoyle, a flesh golem, Wagner Highcross (Daytona's vampire gunslinger rival), and Trask himself (who was responsible for Heck's untimely death before returning as a revenant). 

The rest of the session was basically one huge brawl. Martin's fire magic made short work of Panthalassa's summoned creatures and did tremendous damage to Khamaat, who is highly flammable. Daytona found himself getting shot to pieces by Wagner. Heck was dogpiled by Trask and the gargoyle. The flesh golem's presence was so unnerving that several party members succumbed to fear. Garazi was miraculously unscathed by the flesh golem's attack.

Using the holy spear from the church, Daytona destroyed his rival; it was a good thing he had it too because that weapon was one of the few things the party had capable of actually killing a vampire. Khamaat released Thomasina from the cage in the back of Trask's wagon; Thomasina was able to grievously wound the gargoyle so that Khamaat could finish it off. Panthalassa convinced the flesh golem to stand down. Heck took Trask out, but as he fell he levied one last hammer blow that took Heck down. Garazi was able to heal Heck, who them punched Martin's face into pulp.

Battered and bloodied, the group made their way to an inn, where they were joined by Nightsong. It became apparent that the group's cohesion and willingness to fight the Hellwar was now at an end. Heck had picked up a nasty delusion that Trask was still alive--he wanted to continue seeking out his (actually deceased) nemesis. Garazi refused the offer to become the Devil's bride. Daytona wanted to get back to his lover. After delivering a satanic artifact, Khamaat really had no goals left to pursue. Panthalassa--had more pressing matters to attend to for the moment. Everyone went their separate ways, their chapter now concluded.

The Created

Today's blog post continues the exploration of non-human people you might play as characters in Krevborna. This time we're looking at "the created." Products of sorcery or mad science, the creatures within this category are artificially created beings that range from unique individuals to entire species engineered by design.

Golems

Most golems are unintelligent constructs built to serve their creators, but occasionally a golem achieves sentience or develops their own free will. The materials make to craft golems vary wildly. The “cauldronborn” servants made by witches are comprised of fungal matter and the viscera of slaughtered swine, while the automatons made by rogue inventors are constructed from iron, clay, or corpses. A golem might also be an ambulatory statue, an animate scarecrow, or a wooden marionette given life. Because they are not viewed as “real” beings, golems have no fundamental rights in most regions of Krevborna.

Gargoyles

At the height of the Church’s power its theurges used divine magic to animate the stone gargoyles carved atop its cathedrals. Created to defend holy sites, gargoyles have no lives of their own—until the places of worship they are charged with defending are destroyed. Most gargoyles die in defense of their bastions of the faith, but those few who survive discover that they now possess free will. Most fly away to parts unknown and are never seen again; a few remain to seek meaning in an existence now bereft of sacred duty.

Siziks

Siziks are the results of strange experiments carried out in the laboratories of Creedhall University; these experiments birthed a species of ratfolk with minds equal to those of humankind. Some siziks managed to escape captivity and have sought shelter in the city's sewers, but a portion of that cohort has fled Creedhall altogether. 

So far, the sizik have managed to keep their existence secret from the majority of mankind. They venture out of their warrens only under the cover of night to scavenge for food and goods. The most militant of the sizik want to strike back at the scientists of Creedhall University and free their fellows who remain test subjects in torturous laboratories.

Urska

The urska were sorcerously engineered by the vlaak as an attempt to design a race of impeccably loyal soldiers. Similar to humanoid bears in appearance, urska are generally regarded with awe and fear. Since the fall of the vlaak, they have founded their own enclaves in Krevborna’s northern reaches or joined communities willing to welcome them. Urska sometimes rally under the banner of a strong leader who commands their stalwart loyalty. Such leadership roles are only ever assumed when an urska manages to best all challengers in deadly, ritualized combat. 

Urska often favor attitudes best characterized as stoic and militaristic, though they also love crude humor and raucous bouts of feasting and drinking to excess. Urska generally cannot tolerate dishonesty; when an urska gives their oath, they would rather die than betray their word and bond.

Savage Worlds Stats

Below are some notes on using these ancestries in Savage Worlds.

Golems: the Construct ancestral ability is a must, but beyond that every golem character should be a unique creation dependent on the materials used to construct them and the purpose they were constructed for.

Gargoyles: here are the abilities I'd recommend for a gargoyle character

• Construct: They add +2 to recover from being Shaken, ignore one level of Wound modifiers, don’t breathe, and are immune to disease and poison. Wounds must be mended via the Repair skill. Each attempt takes one hour per current Wound level and ignores the “Golden Hour.” 
• Armor: +4 armor.
• Flight: The species can fly at Pace 24 and may “run” for 2d6″ of additional movement. 
• Claws: Str+d6.
• Camouflage: +2 to Stealth against stony surfaces.
• Reduced Core Skills: Gargoyles possess no core skills.
• Can't Heal: No capacity for natural healing or self-repair, but may otherwise be healed normally.
• All Thumbs: −2 penalty when using mechanical or electrical devices. If he rolls a Critical Failure while using such a device (and it doesn’t already have a built-in effect), it’s broken. 
• Can't Swim: −2 penalty to the Athletics skill when swimming and each inch moved in water costs 3″ of Pace. 
• Illiterate: Cannot read or perform higher math.
• Outsider: Outsiders subtract 2 from Persuasion rolls made to influence those who aren’t her own kind. It also means the character has few or no legal rights in the main campaign area. 
• Monstrous Form: They can only wear customized armor and subtract 1 from Trait rolls when using non-customized equipment and vehicles. Items can be customized to work for the character for 100% of the base cost.
• Attribute Penalty: -2 penalty to Smarts rolls.

Siziks: The ratling ancestry in the Fantasy Companion is perfect right out of the book.

Urska: here are the abilities I'd recommend for an urska character

• Blunt: Taught that might makes right, urska struggle with diplomacy and tact. They have the Mean Hindrance.
• Claws: Urska claws cause Strength+d6 damage, adding +4 if the character runs at least 5” (10 yards) and hits with them.
• Cold Resistance: Urska receive a +4 bonus to resist cold effects. Damage from cold is also reduced by 4.
• Heat Weakness: Urksa suffer a –4 penalty to resist heat effects and take +4 damage from heat and fire. 
• Hulking: Urska are tall and broad, adding +1 to their Toughness. They are Size +1.
• Martial Code: Honor is very important to urska. They generally keep their word, don’t abuse or kill prisoners, and feel duty-bound to respect those who have bested them.
• Tough: Urska starting Vigor is d6, increasing the limit to d12+1.
• Uneducated: Urska society favors physical prowess over intellectual ability. Smarts rolls are made at −1.
• Unwieldy: Their muscular frames causes urska to subtract two when using equipment designed for smaller beings, and they cannot wear humanoid armor or clothing. Equipment, armor, food and clothing cost double the listed price. 
• Very Strong: Urska start with Strength d8, increasing their maximum Strength to d12+2.

Operation Diabolique

As part of my Halloween game offerings, I ran a nightmarish session of AG3NTS OF CRVCIBLE, a game of secret agents in a world of dreams that I wrote. It was not an entirely successful session, but it was interesting if nothing else. Here's what went down:

The mission began with the agents standing on the street in a warehouse district of The City. Down the street was a nightclub with a neon sign that read Club Thelema. The club was only admitting people wearing masks, but luckily each agent had a mask in their hands: Agent Romanov had a devil mask, Agent Warbler had a cardinal mask, Agent Burgundy had a mask resembling Munch's The Scream, and Agent Television had a Nixon mask. The agents got in line and were admitted to the club. 

Agent Romanov made his way to the bar and ordered a martini. He learned from the bartender that the club was owned by the enigmatic "Baron," and that Lady Tetragrammaton, an extremely famous pop star, was holding court in the VIP area. He also learned that there were some high-stakes poker tables in the basement.

Agent Television got on the dance floor; pretty soon, two sweaty women were dancing all up on him. He declined the opportunity to find out what they knew. 

The agents discovered that one of the waitresses at Club Thelema was actually Agent Vanguard undercover. She told them that her three partners were killed in the club; they were trying to trace some sort of secret product that was coming into the club and never appeared to leave the premises. 

She also pointed out "the Laughing Man," the club's feared enforcer.

Speaking of the Laughing Man, he joined Agent Romanov and Agent Warbler in the elevator as they went down to the basement to scope out the gambling area.

Agent Television and Burgundy went around to the back of the club, where they hid and watched what was going on at the loading dock. They saw a truck pull up; three coffins were unloaded out of the back and placed on gurneys to be wheeled inside. The agents followed the porters in, then ducked into what appeared to be a morgue to avoid detection. 

After confronting the porters, the agents were able to take them hostage. Opening the coffins revealed interior compartments holding jars of powder. The porters explained that the powder was a drug called Sandman. Agent Television tried Sandman and promptly had an out of body experience. The porters were left tied up in the morgue; the agents then swapped the Sandman for an innocuous powder and the drug was hidden in the dumpsters out back. 

Back down in the gambling area, Agent Romanov ended up playing head-to-head against Doctor Sloan, the Baron's personal physician. Agent Romanov won. Agent Romanov was able to convince Doctor Sloan that he was looking to get high; the Doctor led Agents Romanov and Warbler into his basement office. Disturbingly, the Doctor's office featured a woman chained up within a human-sized cage. The agents indulged in some Sandman. Deciding that the woman needed to be freed, Agent Warbler attacked Doctor Sloan, but was injured in the process. Ultimately, Argent Warbler was able to kill the doctor and saw off his hand to use to open the doors to the restricted areas on this level. 

Up top, Agents Burgundy and Television got into a firefight with the Baron's men. After eliminating them, the agents fled the scene--effectively taking themselves out of the game for the rest of the session. 

Back in Sloan's office, the agents unchained Rosa, the woman from the cage. They saw that she had a bladed Ouija planchette chained to her wrist. She told them she couldn't leave Club Thelema until an "implant" was removed from her body. Luckily, she knew where the operating theater was, and offered to lead them to it.

Unfortunately, on the way they were confronted by the Laughing Man. The Laughing Man proved to be too much for them to handle. Even worse--it was clear that the Laughing Man and Rosa were in cahoots. A wrong turn brought them into a corridor where the walls were made of flesh--they realized that proceeding further down the corridor would result in them being consumed. 

It was at this point that part of the mystery became clear: that corridor led down the Baron's gullet; he was being fed Sandman, hidden inside human corpses in the operating theater, to keep him "asleep."

The agents attempted to run, but Agent Warbler was killed before she could reach the elevators. Agent Romanov escaped and made his way to Agents Television and Burgundy. The agents ejected from the dream, the goals unfulfilled and their understanding of the situation incomplete. 

The Pomenysh

I've been working on expanding the available information on the various non-human (and semi-human) ancestries available to players in Krevborna. The ancestries can be sorted into three basic categories: mortal children of the fey, humans altered by curses, magic, or mixing with inhuman bloodlines, or creatures that were created through magic or science (or magical science). For the first installment of these deeper-dives, I'm posting about the pomenysh--those whose origins lie with the fey.

The Pomenysh

The pomenysh are the mortal descendants of the fey who lost their immortality by tarrying too long in the mundane world. Despite being incredibly varied in appearance, humankind tends to view the various peoples that make up pomenysh as possessing a stable group identity; in actuality, they are very different ancestries who are as likely to hold each other in antipathy as they are to find common cause. The one thing that truly unites the pomenysh peoples is their status as outsiders in a human-dominated world. 

Dwarves

Hard-working and industrious, the dwarves yearn for the mines—or are at least called to toil in the dark places within the earth. Dwarven society lauds excellence and skill; expert craftsman, canny traders, and blooded warriors are regarded as possessing a nobility of spirit and are afforded honor among their people.  

However, equally important to dwarven psychology is the importance of revenge and recompense. Dwarves hold grudges with the same fervor that pious priests treat their faith; to a dwarf, a grudge is a sacred burden that must be settled. The stubborn intensity with which dwarves pursue their grievances has led to inter-familial feuds, genocidal wars, and suicidal vendettas. 

Elves

The elves are often viewed as the most “aristocratic” of the pomenysh, though the true fey regard elves as degenerates who have strayed too far from the capricious magic of the Verdant Lodge. Mankind’s treatment of the elves has been no better; historically, negative stereotypes about elves, such as that they steal human children to leave changelings in their place or that they are soulless and cannot be redeemed, have been used as justification for annexing elvish land and implementing anti-elvish pogroms.

Elves take on aspects of the environments in which they dwell, which explains why forest elves are brown-skinned and as tall and lean as trees, while the snow elves are alabaster-pale and coldly cruel. Most elves are plagued with melancholia over what they have lost—be it the immortality of their ancestors or the lands that were stolen from them.

Gobkin 

Hunchbacked and twisted of limb, the gobkin were once the subaltern servants of the elves. When the elves lost their status as rulers of the land, their hold over the gobkin was also broken; freed of their magical oaths to serve the elves, the gobkin sought shelter in the most remote corners of the natural world, such as perilous bogs, deep cave systems, and wind-blasted moors.

In ancient times, the tsars of Krevborna kept gobkin as their court jesters—their malformed bodies and mischievous wits were regarded as the height of royal entertainment. The gobkin have never forgotten—or forgiven—their abject status among men and elves; they hold both peoples in malicious contempt. The gobkin have the worst reputation of all the pomeynsh, and not without good cause. While not every gobkin is a sharp-toothed murderer or an unpredictable scoundrel, those are apt descriptions for the majority of their kind. The rare gobkin who strives to do better faces a steep uphill battle against prejudice. 

Hobbfolk

Of all the pomenysh, the hobbfolk are the most integrated into human society. Perhaps their resemblance to human children aided their assimilation; indeed, humans often treat hobbfolk as naive rustics or untutored simpletons in need of guidance and protection. Some hobbfolk play up their diminutive helplessness, effectively turning mankind’s paternal attitude to their advantage.

Hobbfolk usually form tight communities based on mutual reliance, but in rare cases a hobbfolk is struck with an incurable urge to travel the world and seek adventure. Hobbfolk given to wanderlust are regarded by other hobbs with a mixture of horror and heroic admiration. 

***

Savage Worlds Stats

Since we tend to use Savage Worlds for our Krevborna games these days, here's how I'd stat up this batch of ancestries.

Dwarves: The dwarves straight from the Fantasy Companion are basically perfect.

Elves: The elves from the Fantasy Companion work well as-is, especially when you take into account the advice for creating variant branches of the elven family tree. I've already posted my specific stats for the snow elves here.

Gobkin: Use either the goblins or the orcs from the Fantasy Companion, depending on what flavor of gobkin you're going for.

Hobbfolk: Half-folk are the answer. I'd ignore the alternate half-folk suggestions, though.

Krevborna Theatre Halloween Film Fest 2025

Last year I did a "Krevborna Theatre Halloween Film Fest," streaming a bunch of movies for the folks on the Tales of the Grotesque and Dungeonesque Discord. Part of the conceit was that each movie was presented by Serafina, the graverobber main character of my novel, as if she was a horror hostess in the Elvira or Vampira vein. Some events are worth turning into a tradition, so we did it again this year. These are the movies Serafina deigned to show us, along with the in-character blurbs I made to announce each movie, horror hostess-style.

The Skeleton Key

"There's a chill in the air and pumpkin beer on the shelves, and we all know what that means--it's time to open the cinematic crypt and unearth some forgotten frights. First up on our October tombstone slate: The Skeleton Key, a film guaranteed to conjure up something sinister as a hospice worker delves into the secrets of a Southern plantation house."

A Dark Song

"Halo there, boils and ghouls. It is I, your heaven sent horror hostess. This Tuesday, at 8:30 est, I'll be streaming A Dark Song, a meditative horror flick about a woman who enlists the aid of a dodgy occultist to summon an angel. We'll have a divine time, even if this movie isn't exactly uplifting."

Argento's Dracula

"Everyone expects Dracula to have some bite, but are you ready for a Dracula that really sucks? Protect ya neck because on Tuesday at 8:30pm I'll be streaming a version of Dracula by past-his-prime horror maestro Dario Argento, who drains the blood out of Bram Stoker's classic with his adaptation."

The Cell

"Set your alarm clocks for Tuesday, 8:30 est because I'll be streaming a dreamy little flick called The Cell. Starring Jenny from the block, this one delves into the unconscious mind of a serial murderer--isn't that a killer premise?"

Dark Shadows: The Vampire Curse

"Welcome to Collinwood...Saturday I will be streaming a compilation of Dark Shadows episodes called The Vampire Curse at 2pm est. This one has it all: witches, vampires, and high-stakes drama. Come for the haunting theremin, stay for the 1960s soap opera."

Inferno

"Some of you know that I have a burning passion for horror movies--they really light up my otherwise dreary life. Bring your matches and meet me in the theater at 8pm est because I'll be streaming Dario Argento's Inferno tonight."

Total Skull: The Best of October 2025

I used to post monthly "best of" posts recapping the coolest stuff that came my way every month. People seemed to like them, but I burned out on writing the posts. But--I'm giving it another go. What better month to kick things off again than October, the greatest month of all? 

The Savage Hunt of King Stakh

Among the rogue's gallery of horror movies I watched in October, The Savage Hunt of King Stakh really stood out as something special. Savage Hunt is a Belarussian film from 1980 that has recently been restored for the Deaf Crocodile imprint. The film is about a man who stumbles into the castle of a beautiful young woman who seems doomed to die from a horrible curse that haunts her family line; due to the misdeeds of the past, she believes she is fated to be killed by a spectral huntsman. Of course, there's more to the story that just the threat of looming catastrophe. Savage Hunt mixes folk horror, elements from from Euro Gothics, and a certain Radcliffean sensibility that feels rare in horror cinema. Beautifully filmed, this one haunted me for days after watching.

House of 1000 Corpses

I spent some time in October studying the Bible aka the recent House of 1000 Corpses production book. If you know me at all, you know that this movie means a whole hell of a lot to me. The book contains Rob Zombie's shooting script, behind the scenes and candid photographs, pre-production design illustrations, and stellar art by David Hartman. The House of 1000 Corpses book is probably only for the diehard fanatics, but fellow obsessives will thrill to see how lines from the film evolved, as well as all the material that was cut from the script. I love Rob Zombie's character drawings here; they absolutely capture the development of the film's grindhouse aesthetic. Also, the notes from the cast to Rob Zombie make it pretty clear that this project was a blast to work on. Now I gotta go watch the movie again for the thousandth time. 

Jo Kaplan, When the Night Bells Ring and It Will Just Be Us

I've been meaning to read a novel by Jo Kaplan for a while, so I decided there wouldn't be a better time than October. I read When the Night Bells Ring first and loved it so much that I immediately bought a copy of It Will Just Be Us to chase it with. (My copy of When the Night Bells Ring, purchased on eBay, came signed even though that wasn't mentioned in the listing--neat.) 

When the Night Bells Ring is a novel with dual timeless. In the "present," we follow a duo of women scavenging for resources in a world ravaged by a climate apocalypse. Their roving takes them into an abandoned mine, where one of them is injured and their means of egress is taken away. As they explore, they find the journal of a woman who moved to the town that used to work the mine back in the nineteenth century. Her story is one of a wary community of miners who fear the predatory attacks that came from within the mine itself. The storylines converge in a really interesting way, but I won't spoil that big reveal. Instead--just pick this up.

In some ways, It Will Just Be Us is a much more straightforward read: the hermetically sealed life of a reclusive woman living in a haunted house with her aging, increasingly erratic mother is shaken up by the arrival of her pregnant sister. When her sister comes to stay after a fight with her husband, a new specter comes to the fore--and it might be the "ghost" of the main character's unborn nephew, prophesizing the atrocities that he will commit later in life. But what can be done to stop the coming of a monster? Between It Will Just Be Us and When the Night Bells Ring, Jo Kaplan has become an author to watch.

Frayle, Heretics & Lullabies

Doom metal--with a pop sensibility? This shouldn't work, but it absolutely does. I've been a fan of Frayle for a while now, but it feels like they've been building up to their definitive release; their previous records are really good stuff, though you get the sense while listening to them that they were still assembling their unique voice. Heretics & Lullabies is the culmination of that effort--it's their first truly great album. The riffs are slow-moving and crushing, as the genre demands, but Gwyn Strang's whispery soft voice adds a texture you don't really get in doom metal. More importantly, the band isn't afraid of writing music with actual hooks in it. 

Cartoon Roots: Halloween Haunts

I picked up this disc of olde timey Halloween-themed cartoons dating from 1907-1936 on a whim. I went into this expecting nothing more than a collection of historical curiosities, but I came away pretty impressed by the inventiveness of these animated shorts; in particular, the way that older cartoons approach animation--the frenetic chaos of it, the melodramatic repetition of gesture--stands up pretty well for itself against more modern techniques and conventions. There is also a real willingness to get weird with it, possibly because there was no set template yet for what a cartoon should look like. Some of these are manic fever dreams, and they're all the more entertaining because of it.

Harris Lahti, Foreclosure Gothic

I was expecting a novel about the Gothic menace of the housing market--something dealing with the horror of losing a house to foreclosure or the ghosts of a failed home inherited by a new buyer--but what I got instead was a powerful, literary slice of life that is rich with the small triumphs and inevitable defeats that come with the human condition. And I am not mad about it. There are definitely creepy, supernatural things going on in this book, but it is in no way a "horror novel." Hopefully that warning will spare some of you from disappointment, but I do think this is a book worth checking out. The way it follows a man from his idealistic dreams of making it in Hollywood, falling in love with a enigmatic woman, changing the course of his life to become a house-flipper so he can have a family with her, etc. is done masterfully; both the broad brushstrokes and minute details used to portray a man's life are wondrous, and the use of voice in Foreclosure Gothic is a revelation. 

Frankenstein

We drove a hour each way to go to a one-screen theater in Manlius, NY to catch Guillermo del Toro's Frankenstein before it hits Netflix. There I am, in front of the theater. As expected, del Toro beautifully captures the visual language of the Gothic; every scenic tableau is a field of morbid possibility and dread. Fair warning, though: anyone expecting a movie "accurate" to Mary Shelley's vision is bound to be disappointed. There are many changes in this version of the tale, particularly in the moral nature and tone of the ending. Personally, I'm fine with the changes--they're interesting, and they serve del Toro's purpose. 

The one thing I was less enthused about was that the subtext is often made text by bits of ham-fisted dialog. When a character says "Victor--you are the monster" with his dying breath--it feels like the film isn't taking its audience seriously.

Jacob Elordi is especially fantastic as the monster. His performance is nuanced, capturing everything from a childlike misapprehension of the world around him to a seething cauldron of hatred and rage. I don't put much stock in film awards, but Elordi's work in Frankenstein should be recognized!

Caitlin Starling, The Graceview Patient

Of all the types of "body horror," medical horror seems to hit the hardest, for me. Caitlin Starling's The Graceview Patient is about a woman at the end of her rope dealing with an autoimmune disorder. When she's offered the chance to take part in the clinical trial for a revolutionary, experimental treatment--well, she doesn't necessarily jump at the chance, but like many people facing a medical crisis it's the only hope she has left. Obviously, nothing is quite what it seems in the hospital, though the main character's perceptions are always in doubt due to her illness and the extreme nature of the treatment she's undergoing. 

WNUF Halloween Special and Out There Halloween Mega Tape

I spied this blu ray set of the WNUF Halloween Special and the Out There Halloween Mega Tape and just had to pick it up because of the retro-style art on the slipcase. I didn't even really know what I was getting; the copy on the back really played up the idea that this was a compilation of a local TV broadcast from yesteryear. Well, that's the conceit, at least. The WNUF Halloween Special looks like an 80s broadcast of a haunted house investigation, complete with pitch-perfect local TV commercials, but things go horribly wrong. The Out There Halloween Mega Tape is supposed to be a 90s broadcast on the same channel, but this time it focuses on the possibility of an alien visitation. These movies are hilarious, and they absolutely capture the retro Halloween feeling, but they're also totally credible as movies in their own rights. Pick this double-disc set up while you still can!

The Autumnal Pilgrimage

No October is complete without a trip to the Corn Maize out at Stoughton Farm in Newark Valley, NY. This year I think we did a personal best: we finished both mazes in 36 minutes. I also love to hit up their refreshments. Got a bottle of my favorite root beer and tried Wild Bill soda, which was great. We topped the day off with a visit to Brickhouse Pizza Co. in Owego for one of their awesome pizzas. They have the little pepperoni that curls up into glorious cups of delicious grease. Best pizza in Owego.

Camp Crystal Meth

My pal Mattie ran her first game last Friday, and it was a hoot and a half. Super fun time, she had a great sense for pacing right out of the gate, and she really hit all the raunchy notes that make a PLANET MOTHERFUCKER game feel like a night out at the local Waffle House. Also, it was my first time actually getting to be a player in a PMF game (I've only ever been in the driver's seat), so that was extra cool.

Here's what went down.

There were four of us, a scumbag with a mohawk, a preacher who didn't seem to know much about religion, a werewolf with movie-star looks, and an erection-poppin' goon, and we were on our way to Gnawlins when we realized we took a wrong turn and were almost out of gas. Luckily, we made it to a farmhouse where we bartered with an old coot named Willard--he'd give us a can of gas and map if we agreed to head over to Camp Crystal Meth and clear out whoever was killing off the nubile, sexed-up, and drugged-out teenagers that liked to congregate there.

As red-blooded Americans, it was our duty to make sure those kids had a safe place to do meth and screw.

Over at the camp, we encountered a number of horrors: a blood-soaked crime scene, a girl with a genuine WAP, and a dude fighting for his life as he took a monstrous shit. We also agreed to retrieve a girl's vibrator from where she lost it in the camp's barn--she rewarded us with a sweet bow and bunch of arrows. We also traded a box of Twinkies to another chick for the promise of medical treatment in case we got our shit wrecked at some point at the camp.

Crossing the lake in a kayak and a rowboat, we got ambushed by a fucked-up gillman, but we ruined his fucking day. When we found a stereo to play a cassette we discovered early in the adventure, we learned that the killer--who was attacking the kids with a variety of gardening implements--was probably the grown-up child of a lady with a less-than-savory approach to childrearing. Back on the lake, we went behind the waterfall and found a grotto where the killer was making his lair. He was a tough fucker, but we filled him full of holes too.

Camp Crystal Meth was now clear for teenagers to get knocked up and addicted to drugs in once more. All in a day's work, really. We got our map and our gas, and were off to Gnawlins. After all, them beads ain't gonna throw themselves.

Hotel Transylvania

Bad Books for Bad People, Episode 88: Hotel Transylvania

Hotel Transylvania (1978) is the first of 25 novels and two short story collections in Chelsea Quinn Yarbro’s epic vampire series centering around the adventures of the Comte de Saint-Germain. Steeped in the court intrigues of 1740s Paris, Kate and Jack will encounter headstrong virgins, wicked yet incompetent Satanists, and a rather surprising amount of swashbuckling action.

Why didn’t Saint-Germain achieve the same heights of popularity as Anne Rice’s Lestat? How do you handle a bunch of couch-surfing alchemists? What the hell is romantasy, anyway? All these questions and more will be explored in this episode of the podcast.

That Asshole Dracula is Back (Again)

I got the chance to run Vampyrvania for the first time as part of my Halloween season game offerings. This post will be part recap of what happened, part review of the game. For our session, I cobbed together an adventure from the stuff at the back of the core rules, The Clock Tower supplement, and a few of my own additions. (My copy of The Clock Tower was printed kinda crooked and it was surprising how much a little skew made it harder to navigate in play.)

Vampyrvania is very much a "Castlevania simulator," and I didn't bother to hide that fact. The premise was that Dracula was back, and an assortment of brave heroes descended upon the clocktower he had taken over. Our characters for the session included Alucard (son of Dracula), Fiona Belmont (the latest Belmont heir), Wulf Nedazni (a pirate whose ship was wrecked by Dracula), and Tulfa and Orsil (twin magicians who were palette swaps of each other; one had fire powers, the other had ice powers).

The game began with the characters marching through the gates of an undead-infested Targovishte. After fighting some introductory skeletons, they were faced with a branching path as a horde of zombies closed in: head to the inn or proceed to through the center of the town. They chose to head to the inn; inside, they fought more skeletons that were trying to hack down the door to the kitchen. 

Once vanquished, they were given a few power-ups by the townsfolk hiding in the kitchen, then they climbed the stairs and ended up to the inn's roof. They now had to master a platforming section as they jumped from rooftop to rooftop. Failed rolls meant crashing down into a room below with another fight against skeletons.

When they reached a ladder, they climbed down and discovered that they were by the town's well. Of course, bones erupted from the well and then a dragon skull snake thing emerged to fight them. When that fight was over, they scarfed some wall meat and touched the pulsating orb that fell from the sky--initiating a level up sequence. (Having all the character sheets on an editable google doc meant the players could do their level ups as a group in real time. Neat.)

They made their way up Targovishte's cemetery hill and found themselves before the clocktower. Of course, some enemies dropped down before they could enter, but that didn't slow them down much. The doors opened ominously, and the characters marched inside. 

On the first floor, they learned they could destroy the spawning point so they weren't overrun by vampire bats. They also fought a suit of armor and jumped over a spiked pit--well, most of them made it over the bit, at least. They also found a hidden room where a hooded stranger traded coins they had gathered for subweapons and the hearts needed to use them.

The second floor was full of tricky jumps involving large, spinning gears and eyeballs rolling down the stairs. It looked like it might be GAME OVER when a bunch of the characters got knocked down to a lower level with a giant eyeball rolling back and forth.

The third floor had them climbing ropes, getting more wall meat, and fighting blood-gooped skeletons and gargoyles. At the top of the clocktower, a ghost indicated that they needed to go through a door to the outside of the clocktower for a boss fight.

Of course, Dracula awaited them! The outside of the clocktower's apex had several platforms, so they had to master the art of jumping and attacking at the same time. At one point, Dracula did the Dracula thing and burst into a horde of bats, hitting everyone on the screen in a really cheap attack. However, that didn't stop Tulfa from draining his health bar with a well-paced pillar of fire. 

Dracula was vanquished once more! Will it last? No, there will be another game coming out just before Christmas, most likely.

So, how well did Vampyrvania capture the 8-bit Castlevania experience? Pretty perfectly, I think. Collecting hearts to power subweapons and eating meat found in cracked walls hit the right notes, as did the character types on offer. The system was a tad fiddly in some areas, but overall it was pretty light and the action kept flowing. This is a great "beer-and-pretzels" rpg and it is especially well-suited for one-shots. I don't really see much potential for a long campaign here (I think the shtick would wear out sooner rather than lately) but we had a blast leaning into the "game-y" nature of it for a night. That said, I would love to see a future supplement that adds rules for a Symphony of the Night-style Metroidvania experience...

The Jaeganrad, the Linden Gallows Gang, and the Syndikor Ministry

Below are three groups that are new additions to Krevborna. We have a version of the mythical "Wild Hunt" that is actually anti-human insurgents, a Wild West-esque gang of banditos, and a group of Church-sanctioned exorcists.

The Jaeganrad

The Jaeganrad is a group of pomenysh insurgents regarded as savage, inhuman terrorists.

    • The Jaeganrad fights a guerrilla war against mankind in Krevborna, hoping to one day reclaim their land.

    • The Jaeganrad ventures forth from Aeldentree to raid human settlements and wage a war of terror against humanity.

    • Powerful fey from the Verdant Lodge support the Jaeganrad.

The Linden Gallows Gang

Squires who do are judged unworthy to join the Knights Labyrinthian are cast out into the wilderness in shame. Most die. A handful of the survivors have found each other and banded together as a posse of bandits calling themselves the Linden Gallows Gang.

    • The Linden Gallows Gang share the Knights Labyrinthian’s mania to collect artifacts from Grail Tombs, but they are more apt to ambush successful delvers than they are to explore vlaak dungeons themselves.

    • Like the Knights Labyrinthian, the Linden Gallows Gang are skilled gunfighters, though they lack the Knights’ mystical techniques.

    • The biggest coup a gang member can achieve is to kill a Knight Labyrinthian in a duel.

    • The Linden Gallows Gang are led by a dhampir pistolero named Wagner Highcross.

The Syndikor Ministry

The Syndikor Ministry is a special branch of the Church of the Holy Blood tasked with performing the sacred rite of exorcism. 

    • Clergy selected to join the Syndikor Ministry are invariably marked from birth by obvious spiritual gifts.

    • Though some Syndikor exorcists are permanently stationed in the Church’s larger bastions, others wander the land to confront malicious demons and spirits.

    • As an occupational hazard, members of the Syndikor Ministry are prone to becoming hosts for unclean spirits; “fallen” Syndikor are mercilessly hunted by their compatriots.

Logan Tithe

The Vespermark’s most powerful villain is Logan Tithe, a vengeful undead gunslinger. The inspiration behind Logan Tithe is extremely simple: do you remember the undead gunslinger that Brom did for the cover of the old Deadlands? That shit rules.

Logan Tithe

Once a celebrated gunslinger of the Knights Labyrinthian, Logan Tithe was slain in a pitched battle with highwaymen. Unable to go to a quiet grave, Logan rose from the dead as a revenant with murder on his mind. After all of the brigands who participated in the ambush that took his life had been killed, he still found that death would not take him. For reasons he does not understand, Logan is cursed to ride the Vespermark, sending others to an eternal rest that has been denied him. He runs down travelers and caravans on a rotting stallion, but he does not ride alone—he is almost always accompanied by a posse of dead-eyed wights.

    • Appearance: Logan Tithe appears to be a worm-riddled corpse clad in a moth-eaten duster and a black wide-brimmed hat; he bears two hellfire-spewing six shooters at his hips. 

    • Personality: Though the embrace of death refuses him, he relishes sending others to their doom. 

    • Motive: He cannot still the Hell that's in his hands.

    • Flaw: Logan fears being hunted down by his compatriots in the Knights Labyrinthian.

The Saturnine Chalice

As is the custom, I ran a Call of Cthulhu one-shot because the calendar has ticked over into Spooky Month. The premise for this one-shot was that the four characters were a gang of bank robbers (Tiny, Wildman, Goon, and Mouse) who had just pulled off a heist in Ithaca, NY and were now en route to Buffalo via some backwoods roads. In case you want to avoid spoilers, the scenario I ran was "The Saturnine Chalice." I didn't quite manage a Total Party Kill, but three out of four characters ain't bad.

Events

Tiny was at the wheel of the getaway car; Wildman was in the passenger seat acting as navigator--he found an isolated road for them to stick to. Unfortunately, something went wrong with the car; despite the gas gauge reading "Full," it sputtered to a stop at the side of the road, apparently out of fuel. Fortunately, they spotted a driveway winding up a wooded hill. Surely, the residents might have some gas to spare or at least had a phone to call into town? 

After they rang the bell, an old man answered the door. Dressed in the uniform of a butler, he invited them inside and asked them to steady the step ladder he was using to change the lightbulbs in the chandelier overhead. Goon helped him, but failed to notice that the wires were actually too frayed for the chandelier to be operational.

The characters were joined in the hallway by an older man (Augustus, the master of the house), Veronica (his daughter), and Rosemary (the maid). Veronica was wearing mourning dress, but everyone else was dressed normally. Rosemary had a disconcertingly wide smile.

The group requested aid, so Augustus had the butler (Jeremiah) take the characters out to the garage to fetch some gas. Unfortunately, the gas cans were empty and Jeremiah said that the family's Rolls-Royce was nonfunctional. Back in the house, they used the family's phone to request that the general store in the next town over deliver a few cans of gas so they could get their car started.

At this point, August and Veronica invited them to have tea in the dining room while they waited. The long dining room table was already set for an astounding twenty-two people. They explained that they were expecting guests for a dinner party later that night. However, the characters noticed that the candles in the candelabras on the table weren't actually burning down. 

They also spotted a small lead sculpture of an ox with a strange symbol inscribed on its base: a square subdivided into nine numbered squares with a line moving from one square to another. Augustus told them that the symbol was a kamea and pointed out that the sum of the numbers in the squares all added up to fifteen in every direction. He said he couldn't remember where he picked up the item. When Goon asked about Veronica's mourning clothes, neither of them could remember who she was grieving. Clearly, something strange was going on in the house.

The characters were left on their own in the dining room, which gave them a chance to explore further. They found a lounge with bright white walls. The room had several paintings of the family, including Augustus's wife (whom they hadn't encountered in the house), as well as a metal bust of Augustus. The bust was positioned to look out the window. When Wildman examined it, he saw that it was inscribed with a different kamea. Beneath it was a scrap of paper that offered a clue on how to decipher the kamea's hidden message. 

Veronica came in to play the piano while they worked on the code. They also noted that the library was full of occult and theological works, particularly focused on the role of angels in the Abrahamic religious traditions. Engaging the group in light conversation, she said that she loved to travel. When pressed further, she said that she had just been in Scotland before returning home--but couldn't remember why she had left to come back to her father's house.

The group moved upstairs to explore further. Strangely, none of the residents of the house tried to stop them from poking around. The upstairs bedroom featured a desk with more books. From the materials on the desktop, it was obvious that someone in the house had an interest in the Book of Abramelin, an occult tome focused on summoning a guardian angel. 

Mouse tried to open the door leading to the balcony, but it was nailed shut and the gaps around it were sealed with red wax. She noticed that although it should have been just past noon, it was now dark outside. She also saw a line of identical cars approaching the house.

Wildman tried to leave the house, but found the space beyond the front door barred by a stout brick wall. He yelled for Jeremiah, but the butler insisted that he couldn't see any wall.

Back upstairs, Mouse found an oratory room with whitewashed walls. There was a stone altar in the room; hanging over the altar was a odd-looking lamp. When Mouse climbed up onto the altar to get a better look at the lamp, she saw the corpse of a woman in mourning dress hidden behind it. The dead woman had a three-foot wooden wand driven through her chest. Undeterred, Mouse clambered onto the altar and saw that the lamp's glass sides were crystalline and unusually clear. There was a wick inside, but the lamp was out of oil.

Meanwhile, back downstairs, the guests for the dinner party arrived. There were all identical middle-aged men, and all of them went by the name Lester Goodman. The Lester Goodmans had no trouble simply walking through the brick wall in front of the door. There were sixteen of them in total. (Sixteen of them, plus the four characters, plus Augustus and Veronica added up to the twenty-two settings on the dining room table.)

Frantic to figure out what was going on, the characters descended into the basement, where they found the corpses of a man in a butler's uniform and a woman in a maid's uniform clutching each other in death. They noticed a shadow move across the wall; it was unusually tall and seemed to have feathered wings on its back. 

They returned to the room with the altar, bringing with them a bottle of lamp oil from the pantry. When the lamp was lit, they found themselves in the presence of a winged angel who said "Be not afraid." The characters involuntarily dropped to their knees before the angel. The angel told them that all they needed to do to escape the house was to destroy or deface one of the kamea statues in the house; he explained that the family had botched a magical ritual and had inadvertently turned the house into a prison.

Tiny rushed downstairs and toppled the Augustus's bust onto the floor, breaking it. 

Back in the altar room, the others watched in horror as the angel began to glow brighter and brighter, until the being's innermost light burned out their minds, leaving them catatonic. The angel, which was never an angel, was now free. It then departed to wreak havoc on an unsuspecting world.

Tiny found that he was also now free--the house was empty and there were no bricks between him and freedom. Returning to the garage, he found that the gas cans were actually full and that the Rolls-Royce was perfectly operational. Leaving his co-conspirators to their grim fates, Tiny departed with all the loot from the bank job and put the horrors of the Saturnine Chalice behind him.

Graves and Guitarras

About a month ago I had someone on my discord who lives in the UK approach me to ask if I could run a Krevborna game for them since they knew they would have a September night free for it. Look, if someone is willing to stay up that late for one of your games, you gotta say yes, right? It's too flattering! The premise for this one-shot was simple: the characters were all grave robbers given a simple task that quickly became complicated.

This adventure was adapted from one of the scenarios in Keys From the Golden Vault, in case you're wary of spoilers.

Characters

Harriet Grimstone, a big, tough, mean bruiser

Percy Rood, a sneaky urchin with a dark secret

Cornelia Draven, a necromancer who likes to source her own materials

Events

The grave robbers gathered in the back of a pub called the Old Leather Boot to receive a mission from the Angel of Graves herself. Serafina explained that the first woman blackened skald, Attilika (real name: Olga von Glau) was buried in the cemetery of Tillsbury. She was interred with a magical, skull-shaped guitarra. Their mission: dig up Olga von Glau's grave, retrieve the guitarra, and bring it to the Angel of the Graves.

They found the grave under the cover of night. Unfortunately, it appeared to have already been disturbed. They dug up Olga's coffin anyway. Olga's remains were inside, but the guitarra was missing. Percy was startled by a movement at his peripheral vision; a white mist poured from the earth, coalescing into a corpse paint-wearing specter. Once they reassured the ghost of Olga von Glau that they weren't there to defile her bones, she told them that her guitarra had been stolen by an elven woman and a fat man. She could only point them in the general direction that the thieves ran; she couldn't stray beyond the boundary of the cemetery.

Proceeding in that direction, the grave robbers found a house on a hill surrounded by a ruined orchard. The house was once a grand manor, but had deteriorated. They spotted a sign on the road up the hill proclaiming that the building was now the Lark Conservatory. 

They noticed that there was a stained glass skylight atop the building, which goaded them to scale the building to try and enter via the roof. Looking through a clear section of the skylight revealed that the room below was a large music hall sporting a variety of instruments. 

Percy was small enough to wriggle down the chimney into the unlit hearth below. The rest of the group shimmied down to a connected balcony. After scouting the room, and not finding Olga von Glau's guitarra, they approached a door...and three small demons suddenly materialized out of the ether. They look like humanoid ratmen devoid of all hair; each one of them brandished a different, smoking-hot implement of torture. When each of the demons was killed, it dissolved into a bubbling puddle of goo. Harriet did a lot of the heavy lifting here.

As they explored further, they found a hallway with an elevator cage. Next to it was a suit of armor. They were very afraid of the suit of armor. They located the master bedroom, which had a large footlocker at the foot of the bed. When it was opened, a piercing scream filled the air. They shut it in short order.

By the spiral stairs leading down, they discovered that an oil painting was actually a secret panel leading into a hidden study. The paperwork on the desk filled in some of the blanks about the conservatory. Whoever Lark was--they were badly in debt. It didn't improve Lark's financial situation when the group stole a wooden coffer full of coin they found in a desk drawer.

On the floor below, they stepped out onto a mezzanine. They could hear the sound of voices below. They also heard the sound of the elevator ascending from the first floor. The grave robbers quickly scrambled into the first room they could get into to avoid being spotted. 

The room turned out to be a bedroom used by one of the music students at the conservatory. Strangely, there was a statuette of a demonic, full-breasted woman holding a cat o' nine tails on the dresser. The other rooms on this floor appeared to also be bedrooms for the conservatory's students, but none of them had anything as outlandish as the diabolic statuette.

They proceeded down the stairs to the first floor, working their way through a parlor decorated with antique crossbows and hunting trophies. They passed a particularly large stuffed wolf next to a locked door; Percy noticed that there was a key shoved back into the wolf's mouth.

Unfortunately, they were then attacked by the same (reformed!) demons from earlier. They killed them off again, but not before taking some wounds themselves. 

Closer to the front door, they surprised most of the household to barging into the dining hall while they were in the middle of after-dinner drinks. There was a handsome man with blonde curls (and features that were a little too perfect) and three teenaged music students. 

The man with the blonde curls stood up, swished his wine, and commanded the students to head into the kitchen for their own safety. He then revealed himself to be an incubus and attacked the grave robbers. In the middle of the fight, the elevator came back and Lark (and his rapier) joined the fray. The incubus was defeated and Lark was grievously wounded. Lark surrendered and agreed to hand over the stolen guitarra.

Lark led them back to the door by the stuffed wolf and used the key that had been stashed within the wolf's mouth to unlock the door. Inside was a room that was once a chapel, but it had been profaned as a satanic ritual space. Cornelia recognized that it was dedicated to Abzula, the Demon Queen of Lust. 

Once the guitarra was passed over, the grave robbers left the conservatory in great haste. They went back to the Old Leather Boot and turned the instrument over to Serafina, who was impressed with their work, and paid handsomely for their troubles.