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Wednesday, February 21, 2018
Oyster Pirates, Tanith Lee's Weird Fiction, Deterring Witches
Wednesday, February 14, 2018
Loved to Death, Grand Gesture, Monstrous Love
Monday, February 12, 2018
We Kidnapped Your Son, Sell Us Dragon Blood
Characters: Raymondo Cortiz (Human assassin rogue, former entertainer); Grumli Fellhammer (Mountain dwarf path of the ancestors barbarian, former tribesman); Zanna Cobblestop (Forest gnome wild magic sorcerer, former urchin); Nina Kessler (Air genasi way of the frozen fist monk, former spy); Hiroshi (human samurai fighter, former knight).
Events: Having made a tidy profit selling gunpowder that had been magically enriched with sea dragon ichor, the Excruciata were keen to capitalize on their economic momentum and corner the illicit trade in enchanted black powder. Unfortunately, since no new source of already prepared arcane gunpowder was in view, they decided that it might be best to procure their own method of creating it. A little research in the criminal underworld turned up a new ally: a man named Hiroshi, a disgraced bodyguard to an aristocratic family living in a country far, far away.
Hiroshi had previously taken a few jobs providing muscle for Antoine Saulk, a wealthy man who owned a prosperous sea dragon ichor refining plant in Umberwell Docks. The Excruciata made a legitimate appointment with Saulk in hopes that he would be willing to sell them ichor they could use to enrich gunpowder, but during the meeting it quickly became apparent that he viewed the gang members with obvious distaste. As a man of rising fortunes, he had no wish to do business with a pack of obvious ne'er-do-wells.
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| Artby flaviobolla |
Plan B was to escalate the situation. Since Saulk was unwilling to deal with them due to their obvious criminal enterprises, they decided to show him exactly how villainous they could be. Hiroshi knew that Saulk's mansion was situated at the edge of Umberwell Docks and Sartorial Square; Nina was able to adopt the guise of one of Saulk's lovers to get access to his social calendar through his secretary. Picking a night that they knew Saulk would be at the opera, they put there plan into action: break into Saulk's mansion, and kidnap his son.
The Excruciata entered the house by breaking into a storm cellar that led into a storage area of the basement. They made as much use of stealth as they could, but when that failed they brought violence into the house of Saulk. They tried to keep casualties to a minimum, particularly among Saulk's innocent servants, but a few guards within the house had to be sniped and killed from a distance. The gang managed to find the boy's room and steal away with him from the mansion. A letter was sent to Saulk the next morning, informing him of his son's abduction, and the Excruciata's willingness to return him for a favorable rate on sea dragon ichor.
It only took enclosing one of his son's fingers with the letter to provide proof that they were serious.
A source of sea dragon ichor now secured, now all the Excruciata had to do was find someone mad enough to use it to enrich a store of gunpowder...
Friday, February 9, 2018
Bad Books Short Story Swap
Bad Books For Bad PeopleMini Episode 7: Short Story Swap
In an effort to atone for the damage done during the Book Battle episode, Jack and Kate trade short story selections designed to delight one another. Do their efforts succeed?
Kate assigns Jack "The Adventure of 'The Brain,'" a 1910 comedy tale by Bertram Atkey that finds a bumbling pickpocket tied up with a cult of phrenology-obsessed suffragettes. Read the story in Otto Penzler's anthology The Big Book of Rogues and Villains. Jack introduces Kate to the work of Vernon Lee with the story "Dionea," a decadent gothic tale of an orphan, a doctor, a sculptor, and the old gods. Read the story in Vernon Lee's short story collection Hauntings, first published in 1890.
Find us at BadBooksBadPeople.com, on Twitter @badbooksbadppl, Instagram @badbooksbadpeople and on Facebook. You can discover where to get all the books featured on Bad Books for Bad People on our About Page.
BBfBP theme song by True Creature
Monday, February 5, 2018
Karen Berger on the Birth of Vertigo Comics
Also, does anyone else remember this Vertigo-centric DC Comics commercial from the 90s?
Aside from the huge nostalgia hit I get from watching that again, I realize that this commercial was actually effective at letting me know that comics might be worth my time in two ways: most obviously, it was saying that there are non-superhero comics out there that might appeal to me; secondarily, it showcased the graphic novel format. That second part was huge for me, even if I didn't recognize it at the time.
As a teenager I didn't have a reliable way to make it to a comic shop every month to pick up the new issues as they arrived; reading them in a collected format was much easier. The graphic novel format also capitalized on a level of already existing comfort: it's easier to pick up graphic novels when you're used to reading regular novels than it is to pick up single issues when you've been reading novelistically for your entire literate life.
Wednesday, January 31, 2018
Rumble in the Urban Jungle
Characters: Grumli Fellhammer (mountain dwarf path of the ancestral guardians barbarian) and Nina Kessler (air genasi way of the frozen soul monk)
Events: Rumor had reached the Excruciata gang that their rivals, the Red River Jezebels, were planning on reprisals in return for the poor treatment they had received previously. Looking to get ahead of the storm, the Excruciata approached the Jezebels with a challenge: pit your champion against ours, in public, and we'll see whose gang is tougher.
The Jezebels accepted the offer, and terms were agreed upon: the fight would take place at a rented boxing ring in neutral territory; admission would be charged for this spectacle; the winning gang would receive seventy-five percent of the profits from the door and the losing side would have to make do with twenty-five percent; both sides would be free to take bets from the punters in attendance.
The Excruciata knew that the Jezebel's chosen champion would be Erin Lindstrome, a much feared pugilist who had served under one of the roughest commands in the Empire's navy. She was an absolute mammoth of the ring, and it was unlikely that any one member of the Excruciata could take her on one-on-one. But they had a plan.
Fed up with the harangue, Erin left the ring and attacked Grumli. Grumli has no particular skill for fisticuffs, but his inner rage served him well--Erin's blows rained down like iron bludgeons, but he withstood the assault and managed to land some solid, anger-fueled punches of his own. Unfortunately, the experienced Red River Bruiser's expertise eventually wore him down and left him unconscious amid the peanut shells and discarded orange rinds.
Erin was the superior fighter; she was stronger, more practiced, and hardier, but she was also winded and bruised from her previous brawl with Grumli. Nina was quick and agile on her feet, but took a hellacious beating from the former sailor. Nina backed off, then surged forward like a gale, her ice-encrusted fist catching Erin full in the face. Erin went down; she realized, just before slipping into unconsciousness, that her nose was broken.
Nina was declared the winner by knock out, and a message was sent to the Red River Jezebels from the Excruciata: we here, expect us.
Elsewhere: While the Red River Jezebels were distracted with the bout, the remaining leaders of the Excruciata--Raymondo Cortiz and Zanna Cobblestop--raided the Jezebel's treasury. It was guarded by a powerful sorceress in their pay and her lackeys. They didn't manage to kill her or her henchmen, but they were run off the site and the Excruciata made away with some choice loot.
Monday, January 29, 2018
Learning from Ursula K. Le Guin, Leaving Social Media, Literary Horror
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