Sunday, August 27, 2023

Bring Me the Head of the Preacherman

One of the regular players was out, so we didn't want to continue our Savage Krevborna campaign a man down. Instead, a couple of the regulars were joined by someone I hadn't gotten to play with for a while and a brand-new player who got their first game in! I ran a one-shot of Satanic Cavaliers of the Infernal Galaxy, a hack of Lasers & Feelings about satanic sword-swingers in space. Here's the actual play recap of what went down.


Characters

Klaal, of House Lilith

Seraphine, of House Lilith

Tallahassee, of House Dagon

Flexerol, of House Legion


Events

The characters were all "Satanic Cavaliers," trained in both the arts of war and the arts of black magic, in service to Her Infernal Majesty. The task they were given was to track Elias Marquint, a rogue Xtian preacher, to his safe haven on the planet Profundera. It was believed that Marquint made planetfall in the vicinity of Lormas, an isolated fishing community on the shore of Lake Redemption. They were also informed that there may be two related incidents in Lormas that could provide leads: a boat had been stolen at the wharf and a child from the local orphanage was missing. The group was supplied with a cruiser called the Dark Solar, which they promptly renamed the "Space Bitch," and comm devices so they could keep in contact with each other (if separated) and with Central Command.

Once the group touched-down on Lormas, they decided to grill the locals for information. Their first stop was the local orphanage, which they discovered was actually an orphanage/hotel staffed entirely by children. When the children proved incapable of providing any information, the Smythe sisters (the orphanage/hotel's proprietors) were summoned. They provided sparse details about the missing child, whom they believed had simply run away--which would not have been out of the pale considering that they were using the children as a source of free labor. They couldn't even remember the name of the child, but Klaal pushed past them, accessed their computer terminal, and came back with the name Isaac 2417-G94 and a picture of the kid. He also learned that the child's original surname had been Moriah.

During their investigation, they learned that there had been in break-in at the village's only store, so they decided to pay a visit to Finch's Emporium. Yanus Finch was obsequious and deferential to the cavaliers; he fell to his knees in praise to the Empress for sending her agents to apprehend the villains who had stolen from his shop. He supplied them with surveillance footage that showed two figures, both wearing hooded cloaks, loading foodstuffs into crates. One figure was about the right size for Elias Marquint; the other was shorter, but not small enough to be the missing child.

They then proceeded to the local place of satanic worship, an old church that had been painted black and "defaced" with various gargoyles and infernal signifiers. The satanic priestess, Uncharity Bizmaal, immediately creeped them out. However, she was able to fill in some important local history for them: Lormas's biggest scandal occurred when it was discovered that Philbin Moriah, a stained-glass artist of note, was actually a secret member of an Xtian sect. He was apprehended, but not before he had sacrificed one of his children upon an altar in his home out on one of the islands in Lake Redemption. Philbin had named both of his children Isaac; the missing kid was the child he didn't kill. Now "Moriah House" was supposed to be haunted, and thus avoided by the inhabitants of Lormas.

Figuring that Elias Marquint was hiding out in Moriah House, since it was studiously avoided by the people of Lormas, the group requisitioned a boat from Marth, the harbormaster. (Marth, who was pounding his way through cans of beer and then crushing them with his cybernetic arm, also gave them a description of the small ship that had been stolen from the wharf.) They cruised out to the island and saw Moriah House, an imposing edifice held aloft by pylons. They approached the house under the cover of an illusion cast by Seraphine.

Instead of entering the house via the front door, they opted to enter via an elevator shaft used to move Moriah's finished stained glass pieces out of his workshop. They found signs of habitation in the house, such as tracks on the carpeting and evidence that a bed was being slept in. At the top of the house's tower, they found the altar upon which Moriah had sacrificed one of his sons; it appeared that the altar was being readied for use again as the police tape that had once cordoned it off had been torn away. 

A strange thing happened in the bathroom: the taps turned on by themselves, filling the room with steam. Something wrote on the condensation on the mirror above the sink: "Take your son, your only son whom you love, Issac, and go to the land of Moriah."

At this point, Central Command used the comms to inform the group that a vessel was approaching the island. From the window, they could see that it was the boat that had been reported as stolen. There were two figures in the boat: one looked to be the smaller person they had seen on Yanus Finch's security cam footage; the other was small enough to be the missing child. The group decided to split their efforts, with Klaal and Seraphine going down to intercept the interlopers and Tallahassee and Flexerol staying to find Elias Marquint inside the house.

Seraphine and Klaal made their way down to the dock under the cover of another of Seraphine's obfuscating illusions. The identity of the second adult from the surveillance footage confirmed the uneasy feeling they had at the satanic temple: Elias Marquint's ally was none other than Uncharity Bizmaal, the satanic priestess. Klaal held her a swordpoint; she admitted that she and Marquint planned to sacrifice Moriah's other child, the second Isaac, on the family's altar to "seal the new covenant with God." The cavaliers had no intentions of letting that happen, but Uncharity lashed out with a knife. She managed to wound Seraphine's arm, but Klaal hacked into her and Seraphine knocked her unconscious with the pommel of her sword.

Back in Moriah House, Tallahassee tracked Marquint to a priesthole in the library. As Elias Marquint attempted to climb out and confront them, Flexerol elbow-dropped him back into the hole. Marquint shot and wounded Tallahassee with his laser pistol. Tallahassee tried to wing Elias with a book, but missed. Then, Tallahassee heard a mechanical voice down the hall state "Defense protocol activated." A cleaning droid came speeding down the hall, breaking a broom in half and brandishing the sharp ends as weapons. Tallahassee dropped to one knee and started firing arrows into the robot--the last arrow caused it to short circuit just as it was about to plunge the jagged ends of the broom into Tallahassee's neck.

Back down in the bolthole, Elias Marquint was proving to be a slippery combatant: he got Flexerol in a leglock and his knee was about to give way. Flexerol dug deep and remembered the grappling technique he had used the first time he bested his father in combat: he reversed the hold and managed to bend Marquint's head back until it was just touching the heel of his foot. The strain was too much: Marquint's back was broken by the hold!

With the miscreant eliminated, the group could now tidy up the loose ends. After interrogation, a limbless Uncharity was left at the wharf as a warning to all Xtian heretics. Elias Marquint's head was placed in a Salome Box for further neural investigation. This section of the Empire was now secure, all thanks to the violent intervention of Her Majesty's satanic cavaliers.