Monday, January 4, 2016

H(arry) P(otter) Lovecraft

What if ”He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named” was so called not just because it was dreaded to speak his name, but also because he hailed from the Nameless City located somewhere on the Arabian peninsula? Forget all the nonsense about Tom Riddle; that’s just a red herring. This Voldemort has ventured forth from that ancient city built by antediluvian reptilians (which explains Voldemort’s snake-like visage and natural skill at Parseltongue) to retrieve the occult knowledge stolen by the Mad Arab. The reason why he wants to take over Hogwarts: where do you think they keep the true copy of the Necronomicon?

What most folk don’t realize is that the street sign that reads ”Diagon Alley” is actually a misprint; the proper name is Dagon Alley. Consider this: Diagon Alley is a center for commerce in the wizarding world, and Dagon was known as the Sumerian god of fish and grain–he was a god of plentiful goods. Each wand and owl sold there brings Dagon another step closer to ascendancy.

Everyone knows that Hagrid is only half-human, and most people assume that he’s half-giant. A clever enough ruse, but his real lineage is easy to uncover if you know Hagrid’s full name: Rubeus Hagrid-Whateley. Note that his brother, Grawp, is barn-sized and monstrous.

There’s never been any doubt that the Weasleys are Deep One hybrids, has there? Gingers = the "Innsmouth look." And check out the picture above of their family vacation to the land of Nyarlathotep.

Some will tell you that Hermione got the Time-Turner from Professor McGonagall, but those bett‚er informed know that it was a gift from the Great Race of Yith. Was Hermione’s advanced intelligence merely noted by the studies of the Great Race or did they tamper with genetic ancestors? The mind reels at the possibilities.

And that symbol on Harry’s forehead looks more like an Elder Sign than a lightning bolt to me.